Friday, December 17, 2004

Dry Dock is Over

Ahhh!!! It was such a good time, such a good and enriching experience. Only to remind and re-live about through pictures is all we can do. I think I am in love with San Francisco city. Though I am sleepless for I spent most of my sleeping time out the last three days, I will not complain. I can say I am satisfied with the whole event. As we were slowly on our way out of the dock, and we were passing in front of memorable places like alcatraz island, under S.F. bay bridge, and S.F. golden bridge all with the city in the background and a clear and bright sky and one or two seals speaking between them, memories just filled my mind and happiness just overflowed. The whole 450 members of the crew of Pride were outside on open decks, everyone with either photo camara or video camara taking those last shots of this beautiful city. As we passed under the bridges, many of them waved to the people who intentionally stoped their cars in the middle of the bridges to wave us back. Still, some people like my boss wanted all my personel to be back indoors doing what they were doing, I had to nicely ask him to relax and let them enjoy the magnificent vista and moment with the rest of the tripulation. Now, we are going full speed to Los Angeles and these two coming weeks are going to be way to busy. Christmas and New Year, the ship is booked to the maximun. So a lot of work is coming from sunday on. And a second christmas and new year season away from home.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Historic Alcatraz Jail

The good thing of being on dry dock is that we get a lot of free time and even when we are on duty there is practically nothing to do. The other day me and my friends decided to take the Alcatraz tour offered by one of the countless tourism agencies around Fishermen Wharf on Pier 39. So we went early in the morning like at 9:00; I consider that early because by then it was still dark and full of fog all around. So we took the ferry and we arrived at the island which is no more than 3 miles far from mainland. I dont know why there are so many people who dont appreciate stuff like this, I love history, and to visit places that holds so much history and important events that marked time and made history, its just cool. (now I understand why my mom daydream frequently about visiting Israel) Anyway, as we were approaching the island it became notable that it was a very old building made of rudimental materials compared to nowadays' . Fog was everywhere, it was dark and somehow cold. There was a turist guy who briefly introduced the island history through its beggining till its ending. Afterwards we were allowed inside the instalations and that was it. So much history laying on those walls, on those iron bars and overall. Of course, it doesnt smell bad, and it's even clean (its a museum). We were given sort of a mp3 player with earphones and all the major events that occured there, we could listen about while we were walking and taking pictures. We spent there couple of hours and then left. Afterwards we went walking along the bay where there are countless of non-expensive stores and some others museums and atracttions. We went to this wax museum and it was just awesome who real those wax figures looked like. Representations of all modern important people from movie artists to presidents and even Saddam. Also from the past. There was even one where Leonardo D Vinci was painting the Mona Lisa. It seemed so real. And to finish that day, we went to walk in the heart of the biggest china town of america. Huge. We even had lunch in one of the restaurants...the service was horrible though. The menu in chineese. And just before coming back to the ship we went to the shopping area, my goodness, so many stores and bargains and so little money to spend. My mom would go nuts in there.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Napa Valley Trip

As this moment, I am sitting in an italian cafe in the middle of one of the biggest chinatown of US. Ironic huh. I came with a whole bunch of people from the ship, who to my dismay where heading to nights club. So I left them and started walking alone. Funny, cuz its kind of late in the night and I dont know the city at all. Anyway, its not all that bad, (not including how expensive leaving or visiting in here can be). Today early in the morning I went with some friends to Napa Valley. At first, I was sort of not interested, cuz I dont even drink. But only the bus ride to there worth it the 55 bucks I had to pay. The landcapes were gorgeous. We got to ride through the famous golden bridge of San Francisco and also the amazing long bay bridge. What was supposed to be a sunny day was extremely foggy and wild cold. Even so I enjoyed to the most the trip. We got to visit 4 differents families companies that produces famous wines. They showed us all about the whole process of making quality wines and all that stuff that I didnt know. (Its not that I know now, but at least I've an idea) Then we went to a town called sonoma, where we had lunch in a small restaurant. They had there the most delicious carrot cake. Then me and my friends went to walk around, trying not to get to wet with the rain. But it was beautiful. Well, I am drained. I am definitely tired and sleepy. However, although nothing would be more pleasent than having a sweet sleep, I just discovered that we dont have a/c onboard. (dry dock maintenance to the a/c system for the whole two weeks) How would I be able to sleep at all, when inside my cabin is extremely hot? Then, this is my dilema, if I decide to sleep inside my cabin I would fry myself to death, but if I decide to go to open deck and sleep in a sleeping bag, I probably would froze my butt off. Hummm....! Lets see what happens.

Monday, December 06, 2004

First day

Puff.... we are gonna reach San Francisco tonight at 10:00 pm, and we were supposed to reach it tomorrow early in the morning. I guess thats the reason why everyone is seasicked....ship is at full speed and there are huge waves out there. Its wild cold out there, but the sun is out and the sky is clear. Yesterday night, there was crew disco and dinner in the main big restaurant of the ship where guest use to eat. Everyone is walking around the whole ship, cuz there are no guests. Although as I was walking on open deck yesterday night, it freaked me out the fact that there were no even one soul around. Creepy. Looked like a ghost ship, with the cold air and the wind whistling. Anyway, today its been sort of relaxing, no pressure, no one is really on a hurry. Lets see how it goes from tomorrow on.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Dry Dock

Today we are heading to San Francisco for dry dock. We are gonna spend there two weeks. They say its a great city, with so many things to do. Anyway, today we were supposed to arrive at L.A. at 5:30 am as usual, but we didnt. It all started at 12:00 am; troughout all the PA system it was announced that someone was missing. So they were calling her and asking her to report to the info desk. I was sleeping, and I got mad, cuz they interrupted my sleep having in consideration that next day I had to wake up way earlier than normal. An hour later they were calling her again and so they did 2 more times, until 1:30 am, one of the officers announced that security was going to check all the guest and crew cabins as the last resource plus they we were heading back on our way to L.A. to Mexico again to the last moment she was spotted. Now it was a huge thing. Helicopters and war ships from US coast guard were on the seek and rescue operation. You can imagine how many people were totally upset and angry, all the guests lost their flights and so the signing off crew members. Today half of the crew are signing off because of dry dock. So the whole day was upside down. I am just going to get some sleep. I am weaked tired.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving......I should start by the fact that this is an American celebration that dates from hundreds of years back when the firsts foreigns came from England to America and then after a lot of troubles they felt thankful to God for what they had achieved. Back then, it meant lot of thinking and thanksgiving prayers to the Almighty God. I don't remember with details the whole story, but it is interesting since this reminds me about Noeh and his family right after they came out of the boat after the big flood. First thing they did was to give thanks and honor to Him the One who saved them, and He was extremely pleased and blessed them. America was founded on a christian solid base, and those who were the first, for generations were thankful and recognized the One who blessed them so much. Years has passed by, and little by little Jesus Christ is way less recognized and honored. They took him out of school system, courts, goverment and what its worse, from most of the families which is the real core of society. They dont care about what He wants, what He longs, what He did for us 2000 years ago. They dont want to know anything about him. They think that was just a fairy story. They think Jesus is only for children and old people. Ohh, how wrong we have come to think. He is the reason of our existance, He is the reason why we breath. If it wasnt for His grace, nothing of what we have achieved would've been. He is merciful enough, all love, that even though most of us dont want to believe in Him, still let us live and give us the strengh, wisdom and talents to get what we have. I got extremely sad this morning when I watched on the TV this so famous Macy's parade held in New York city year after year, "celebrating" the holidays season...they dont even call it by its name. They have lost completely the real mean of it. It is just about lot of fixed cars with themes and semi-naked dancing women and so many totally pagane things that does not have any thing to do with the real Thanksgiving day. I bet you that if you ask one of them what is the real meaning of it, they wouldnt be able to tell it. God does have feeling and I totally can understand if He felt unhappy and even angry. Today I feel thankful to Jesus, because He totally gave me the needed strengh and wisdom to overcome the extremely heavy day I had. This morning I did ask him to take my work, my decisions, my problems, and my ordinary daily life in His completely able hands. So He did. He gave me the victory. Here, where I work, this particular day becomes totally crazy with tons of simultaneous things to do, and yet He helped me out, while the rest were nuts. I felt peace and joy over the whole day. This is the God that answer prayers when we totally depend on him and rest in Him. We only have to believe and He will do the rest. I love you Jesus so much. Thanks!!!

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Without a purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction and events without reason. Without a purpose life is trivial, petty and pointless. The greatest tragedy is not death but life without a purpose.
A day like today, 24 years ago, somewhere in mexico, at 4:00 am I had no idea I was about to arrive to this Earth, but I did. As I can remember from what mom said, it was a very tough moment for her and I was at high risk at that particular moment. However God did take control over the situation and everything ended right. Yes, today is my birthday. And the funny thing is that this is my second consecutive birthday I am so away from dad, mom and friends. Its kind of depressing in a way. I mean, I usually get kind of sad for my birthdays as I can recall, (which I dont know exactly why) but here it gets kind of worse. When I woke up this morning, first thing I did was to congratulate my roommate whose birthday is also today. He did wish me a happy day, so I did for him. Today is a very busy day so I wont have time for a special thing with my closest friends, so we decided to do something next wednesday. I feel kind of mentally and emotionally tired. I still have 4 months and a half to go. I wonder how I will resist. Lately I've been feeling like I dont have enough strengh to finish a day, even though I keep having my quite times and reading books about purpose for life. I dont, know, maybe God is trying to tell me something. I hope I can learn what it is soon. On the good note, today I've received quite some emails from these friends of mine who has been supporting me a lot in prayers and mean a lot to me. This one thing I know is helping me a lot during this time, I keep my mind busy thinking about them.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

As I was watching the elections to many thoughts crossed across my mind, and it is ok considering that we are living the last times according to the Bible. Ever since I was a kid, I always wondered who was going to be the last US president before the whole Jesus's followers departure from the earth stuff. I was completely sure that when Clinton came to the White House, that would be the time. However didnt happen, then Bush came to the W.H. I know that God has used him to fulfill His overall plan for this earth and its future. Anyway, its so confusing to me. He is definitely gonna be there for another 4 more years and thats good. The one thing that really caught my attention was that during the electoral campaign Kerry was very strong regarding Health Care, Economy and even Terrorism, as I see that to many americans were unsatisfied with how Bush has been taking care of it, not to mention how the economy has gone down, and how many jobs has been lost. So I really expected more support (based on this parameter) for Kerry. If people are not happy with the way theses things are being carried, then why to have it for four more years. But it turned out during this elections's polls that the reason why many people from the states that supported Bush gave him their support, was not necesarily because they felt more secure against terrorism, or because they felt that he could do better with the economy, but because moral issues. Wao, to me that was such a relief, I mean, what he is doing is really impacting and influencing people across america. To me that means, that still americans care about what the Bible has to say about our proper physical, emotional and spiritual behaviour. And that was in many cases their priority over such an important issues in our world today, like terrorism, economy and health care. Although America has become extremely liberal and away from God's Word, still exist an important number of people who doesnt believe in gay marriage, abortion among other things. So isnt it ironic? in the polls the huge majority is not happy with many of Bush's politics but still they gave him a second term to rule over America. All this make me thing about us being leader. All of us are leader and influence people around us in one way or another. We will always make mistake, we cannot be perfect. However, how people are evaluating us? Our material and wordly issues are more important than our moral issues, faith and convictions, that at the end will make people follow someone else?

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Couple of hours, as I was laying on my bed, suddendly I felt like in the mood of taking pictures, so I got up, took my cameras and went to highest open deck. To my surprise, today there was a lunar eclipse and I was just about to miss it. I mean, I've seen many lunar eclipses along my walking on this earth, but it is always good to be part of this astronomical events. Anyway, I took couple of pics to the moon, to bad I dont have a bigger lens though. So as I was taking pics I ran into these two people who are cruising this week and we started talking about the particular event and then we went on to talk about boreal aurora and all this amazing views you get to see in alaska among other places. Conversation was very interesting, I was only listening, cuz one of the guys wouldnt stop sharing his experiences. He also talked about vortexes...I had no idea what was that, he kind of explained it to me, and it is a weird thing, I dont get to understant yet. So I logged onto the net to check for more info about that and guess what? nothing! arg! As we were finishing our convo, it just hit me, how can people still be hard of mind, I mean, it all makes sense, when you realize how perfect and amazing nature is we have to come to the conclusion that there have to be a wonderful Creator who did it. When you get to see this events, you feel like connected to something superior and still most of ppl refuse to believe.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

You are who you are for a reason
You are part of an intricate plan
You are a precious and perfect unique design
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason
Our God made no mistake
He knit you together within the womb
You are just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose
And no matters how you may feel
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy,
And God wept that it hurt you so,
But it was allowed to sahpe your heart,
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God.

By Rusell Kelfer

Isn't it true?

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Leadership, Purpose on Life, Future

I;ve been reading this book that reads about my purpose in this life. And it is been so refreshing, because sometimes, I just get myself confused and freaked out with so many things like, what's gonna be of me in the future, where I want to go, how I am to make it and all sort of things you can imagine. And there I loose my focus. Along with this, I've been attending Carnival College of Managment and there, among other things I've been given a lot of information on how to be a better supervisor, like the difference between people oriented manager and task oriented manager and all that crap, and the director has been sharing his own ideas of success in this life and happiness and I've been listening to all these wordly things that doesnt apply fully to my life, because something is missing. Anyway, the course is intended to have one on one meetings with the hotel manager who is one of the facilitator of the course, and he did ask us to fill in one paper with some questions about the course overall. And talking about leadership I stated that everyone and all of us are leader in one way or another. We are meant to impact in a positive way which is never an easy task because it implies self-sacrifice or we can do it in a negative way which might affect negative in others, but always whatever we do, think, speak, believe, behave and walk will leave a footprint and we will be held responsible for it. When he read that out of my paper, I was reading his facial expression to determine what might be going on inside his mind.....expressionless lol. But he did say, interesting. I mean, to me it sounded deep and to follow this is definitely not easy. To live by example, to walk the talk will always be difficult, its not the easy road to follow, but at the end of the day it is totally worthy. When I do what I preach at the end of the day I feel that I've fullfilled my purpose for that given day, when I dont, I feel empty and dissappointed toward myself and so is God. But it is a good thing that we are given the opportunity to try it everyday. When I have this in mind, my future, my goals, my dreams, I leave it in God's perfect and able hands and He will make my understand and achieve all of them. Amen.

Latest News

Where to start....hum. Its been kind of busy lately with many differents things. However, last sunday I got a very interesting news from my dad. It happens that I've got an aunt and her husband that I've been praying for long long long very long time ago, but she seemed reluctant and indiferent to all speeches about Jesus. And I'd been praying and I wondered if someday they would accept God's mercy, I even wondered if my prayers were useless, cuz my aunt really felt like she didnt need it. But lately she has been having so much family problems and she did ask my dad to have a conversation, so they had it. My dad says that he witnessed her and shared with her the gospel. He says she seems more open to it and he will give her, along with my mom follow up. I mean, this battle hasnt been finished, its not over yet, but I clearly see that God is working it and my prayers were not in vain and now I feel like with new energies to continue with my prayers for those loved ones and friends who havent accepted God's salvation. On the second note of the moment, I am going back to day shift...enough of batman style.
I suspect that my boss is not very happy with me lately, lol, and I dont blame him. I've been pushing him lately for things he has not been taking care bringing as consequence bad results in a couple of areas. So since he is the boss he is changing me back to day shift which has some advantages and disadvantages as well. At first I felt bad when he gave me the news, but after thinking a little bit, I know that I have been constantly trying to give my best. The bad thing is that this coming sunday I had planned to go to Universal Studios in LA and now it wont happen. Maybe some other time.
And last but not least, couple of days ago, God gave me the opportunity to share a special moment with one of my collegues. We were just hanging in the office talking about nothing special and then like usual I dont know how we began talking about God, his plan and purpose for us and all. My friend Danny has a very strange way to think about christianity, he calls himself christian but doesnt agree with the Bible and has his own way to see things. So we spend almost two hours talking and talking, I was trying to give him examples and things for him to think about, and at the end he recognized that he hadnt enough arguments to support his own ideas. So I pray that our mercy Lord have mercy of Danny. I mean, the truth has been exposed to him, he wont have a chance to say, he never knew about it, like he use to say about those in far lands inside Africa. Anyway, I thanks God, cuz I never thought we could have this kind of conversation, we are not very close to talk about faith and belives. Next day we started to talk again about some other stuffs and we ended again in the same and the funny of it is that he complained to me because I would always refer to the Bible to answer his questions. I told him, Danny, I cannot talk something that I dont know, my believes are fundamented in the Bible, it is our owners manual, thats how I know what to do, how to do it and why. Anyway, I think I will be from now on, stressing about this more frequent with him, and he might complain but it is for his own sake.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Last sunday I bought The Passion dvd movie. I saw it in the store I was shopping at, and I thought "you know, I havent seen this movie completely yet, and everybody has seen it. It happens that long time ago, I went to the cinema with my friend Travis who invited me to watch it, however I was having migrane that day, so at the middle of the movie I just had to go out, couldnt continue inside the theather. I was very very bad. It was a shame, cuz I really wanted to see it. Then couple of weeks later while visiting some friends at a nursing home where I use to work before, I had the chance to see part of it, but a the same time I was chatting with the people around, so I wasnt really paying attention to it. Anyway, everybody has told me since then what an amazing movie it was and everybody assures that it was a very feeling moving movie and weeping was part of it. Even my dad who is not too given to cry, acknowledges that he did. Well, the thing is that couple of days ago, I set myself for it and I saw the movie and it really made me thing and yes, why not, it took lot of tears out of me. Like everyone else, I´ve seen so many movies showing Jesus´ life when on earth, but this one, was very explicit and very crude, it showed how He suffered for us in order to gives us an opportunity to eternal life. Though I have a critic for it. It shows all the suffering and his last hours, and at the very end it acknowledges His resurrection, but it was to quick, I really expected a more impactant scene showing His victory over the death, maybe at the very end raising up into the know, the way hollywood knows how to impress the mass. Anyway, I really hope many people get to know Jesus and accept His sacrifice and get eternal life.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Xtreme Makeover Part II

What inspire someone to help another human being?; Why would someone spare his/her free time to make someone else feel better? In most of the cases, would the motivation to do so is the correct? I found myself thinking about this as we were on our way from the ship to the place where we would help to clean and make a better place to live to a couple of abandoned elderly. We went deep into the heart of Mazatlan directly into the extreme poor side of it. We saw houses that doesnt deserve to be called as so, but indeed, they are to those people who live in there. Kilometers of cartons/zinc tiny boxes meant to be houses along the way, mostly of the time overcrowded with a bunch of little kids and starving people. I've seen this scene so many times in poor areas in my own country and I've been given the opportunity to help them out with their physical needs and spiritual needs as well. However, the right motivation is a tricky thing. Why do I put myself in such a critical situation if I dont really need to? Would it be, because it makes me feel superior, or because it makes me looks like a good person that only thinks on doing well to others, or would it be because I dont have anything else to do, or because I am thankful enough to God for everything He's given to me that I just feel the need to help others. Whatever reason you might have to help others, the second God's commandment says "Love others like if it was yourself" and with this you can sum up the whole ten commandments. People can do good deeds with the wrong motivation and still be able to feel the exquisite feeling of wellness after doing so, however if we are able to help others, with the proper motivation, we are gonna be able not only to feel the exquisite feeling of wellness, but also get eternal compensation from God. The Bible in Corinthios talks about Love and its attributes, it also mentions that if I gave all my possesions so others could eat and I do it without love, it is just worthless, says that if I gave my body to the flames and I do it with no love, it's useless. So summing up, doing good deeds is not going to grant me a good future after my death, I can do all the good things that might come to my mind, but if my life is not commited to Jesus Christ and saved by His holy blood, then it comes to be only that, a good thing that brings you well being, nothing else. All these came to my mind, cuz this was the first time I did charitable work with non-christian people, and all the way I wondered myself what would motivate these people to spare their time to do this, what would be their internal reasons, their justification. Unfortunately, I only got to know the reason of one of the team member, and it was pretty amazing to realize that this particular guy is from one of the most devastated countries of the caribbean by the last 4 hurricanes in the past month, that has killed countless persons even in his country, and destruction and devastation is all over the country, and still he being abroad, knowing nothing about his relatives because there is no phone and internet services, he feels the need to help in a foreign country to people who he doesnt even know. If he that is not a christian and is able to feel this and do it, why you and me who call ourselves followers of the Merciful God, and believe in Jesus Christ's love and compassion wont do it? The reason why I do spend time in helping poor people and put myself in a sacrificing position is because in that way I know I am being thankful to God for all the countless blessings He's given to me and my family. This is also a good exercise to measure how much you have even when you think you have nothing comparing to wealthy persons. This is a great time to witness people who because are in a more vulnerable position are able to accept God's salvation, mercy and protection. I've come to the conclusion that when you have very less or are in a very bad position, you are more open to accept help, and what better help than the one from Jesus Christ brought to them through us. Love is the key of all. Love can inspire someone to help another human being, and love is the right motivation to do so. Love is suffered, is patient, doesnt get irritated, doesnt seek its own wellness, is honest. Pretty good description of our Saviour. By the way, Xtreme Makeover was a success, even though there was not a very good organization, we managed to clean nicely inside the house and we brought brand new beds, linen, a dinning table and some other stuffs. Not to many people signed up for it though, but the team, who consisted of the paymaster, the housekeeping manager, the senior joiner, the lead nurse, two enterteiners, a cook and myself did a good job. Thanks God.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

I am very excited about the idea of "Extreme Makeover". Accounting Deparment organized this activiy which consist in rebuilding a home for a extremely elderly couple in Mazatlan. I saw the ad on one of the boards and saw the pic of the status of their house, and it was wao. I complain about what I have, but what I have is a world compared to what this couple have. So in order to be thankful to God I decided to sign up. This reminds me so much about the trips I use to go when in Panama with Teen Mania (american mission organization), to very very poor neiborhoods in the city and help them economically, physically and spiritually. I am really looking forward to help them get to know the One who will be their provider, their supporter even in hard times. I even talked in one of my friends, who in order to go, will not sleep for 24 hours straight, but this kind of experiences, I know change lives. I hope this would be a extreme good day.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Sweet....they finally came back to the ship after a long, stressing, killing and agonizing waiting to re-inspect the ship. This last 6 weeks has been extremely hard, to much pressure from the headquarter offices in miami and from the diferent head departments on board. However, last sunday public health officer came onboard, and after a couple of hours we learned that we passed with the perfect score of 100. Now, to me, thats like nothing, I would've rather pass the first one with the lowest possible score than having to pass a second one with the highest one. Anyway, now everything back to calm, at least for a couple of weeks. So, around 11:00 pm my boss called me and asked me to come to the crew bar, to celebrate. All the management were there, and the manager was giving away his money buying drinks and beers to all the fellows, now, the akward moment was when he asked me what did I want, I told him, just a, he was like "are u serious" with this puzzled face, arrg, they were so pushing me to take a drink...and I felt kind of in a bad situation cuz he is the big boss and even the captain was around, so I know that to the worldly eyes that was just a bad move from my part, however I wouldnt never give up my convictions and my faith in order to please another person, even if that cost me a promotion and a better position. Even worse, I felt bad cuz it is there when I should stand high and be the light in the dark the answer to their nonsense life, but once again I couldnt. Peer pressure is a big deal, no wonder why so many teenagers go after the bad things. "God, I ask you to help me everyday to be the difference in this world"
On the best note of the day, I bought this new music cd of The Passion, it has songs from different singers, that after watching the movie felt compelled to write songs about the whole stuff. It has songs ranging from hard rock like P.O.D. passing to alternative like third day, going to rap from kirk frankling and sweet songs from others excellent performers. Its just a great purchase. I am enjoying it to the most!

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

I think, I finally learned how to use hello software.

Long Beach, California Sunrise Posted by Hello

Top middle section of the Carnival Pride vessel, with Ensenada as a background Posted by Hello

Ensenada Vista Posted by Hello

Monday, September 20, 2004

Two days ago, we visited Ensenada, which is not part of the regular route of my ship, but since we were trying to avoid Javier hurricane, they changed the itinerary last week. Early in the morning I went open deck to watch the new place for me to see. As we were approaching I got impressed by the huge quantity of seals that were singing and swimming around the vessel, I think this was actually the first time ever that I've seen them in real life, plus a lot of every kind of birds flying low close to the dock. Then back there you could see enormous bare mountains, not a single tree or green plant to see, only dusty yellowish land, filled with large rows of houses and business, just the way San Francisco Ca. is. A huge ray of sun coming vertically through a hole in the dark dense clouds made a beautiful effect when reaching down the far away bare mountains. And the cool breeze hitting everywhere and everyone, just made that moment special. Now, Mexico is known by its wild hot humid weather, this was just out of the rule. This brought me back 9 years back when I traveled for my very first time out of Panama. It was a youth mission trip hosted by an american organization who invited my church youth to participate in it. It was held in San Quintin, Tijuana (Mexico). That was an amazing experience I had, one of those that transform and shape the rest of your life. I barely remember the details of a lot of things back there, but in my subconcious they are still vivid and I now know that, as when I saw the view of Ensenada, a lot of those lost memories came alive. Ensenada is just about 2 hours away from San Quintin, Tijuana where I once were with a bunch of kids spreading the news of the Gospel. A happy feeling just embrazed me. Of course, after we docked, I went outside to walk around and take some pics. I went with a bunch of indonesian friends to eat chineese food and so we did.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Bad Weather

Arrrrg.....the ship is rocking sooo bad. I am seasick, walking like a drunker, so is everybody around, due to Javier Hurricane. Anyway, today is my 100 day anniversary on board. Yuppi. I am celebrating with a soda and a seasickness pill. Cheers!

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Getting to Know People

Today I had the opportunity to share some quality time with couple of my guys.  It is weird, I spend almost 10 hours with them every day and we hardly get some time to really get to know each other.  The one thing that really caught me off guard today is the fact that sometimes those who are tough guys and give you problems almost every single second of your existence have a human side, have needs and stories to tell.  Thats the case of Alvaro, he's from Peru; he's been working for the company for almost 5 years, and he knows every trick available to play on a new supervisor like me.  So I have to be equally tough to him and during the last three weeks I've been on his tail very bad, but at the end in one or other way we manage to keep our communication line open. So, today we start talking about things and I got to know that he's got a child and he is paying for a private education (now, in latin america private education is the one thing that not everybody get to have) And according to what he says, thats the reason why he stays here regardless the extremely hard work and family time sacrifice.  He doesnt know how he's managed to put up with this life style all these years.  I see determination, a goal to be accomplished, a sacrificing father, so not everything is wrong about him, and thats a good thing to know.  Later on, like if my fate today was to get to know a bit more about the people that works with me, another guy, this time from Philippines, start asking me questions about me and my life and there we start a conversation.  He is a first timer in the company, and I learned that he had been unemployed for the last 10 years.  He is 34 and it was kind of sad that he wasnt liked by his family and girlfriend family because he didnt had a job.  He had been trying and trying to get a job and nothing of nothing, but 10 years? puff.... thats way to long time.  Now he says he got lucky and got this one, which is not very promising but at least he's got something, and his plans are to save some money to buy a piece of land and build his home, and afterwards marry his long time girlfriend.  Life can be hard to some and easy to others, yet everybody has their own stories, needs and human sides no matter how tough and rude they might be.  I learned today that when you get to know someones background you can understand better why he/she behaves or thinks like so.

Thursday, September 09, 2004


I think I messed up my blog, cuz yesterday when playing around with hello, trying to learn how to use it, I managed to upload couple of pictures, but then it wouldnt published it, never passed from 0%, but still I could see it, and then the internet access got slow and I got upset after trying and trying. So I left and I've got no idea how it is. I was trying to post some pictures of Cabo San Lucas, one of my favorites places. Thanks to my friend Willie who encouraged me to learn how to use hello software. Nothing really interesting happening around, the usual, work, sleep, excercising my body, eating and giving hard time to my people. I am looking forward to get some fun anytime soon. There was crew party recently, however nothing that I could enjoy at all. Lot of drunk people afterwards lost, trying to get to their cabins. Lol, thats a funny thing to see, specially when the ship is rocking, you get to see them sort of dancing hip hop when walking in order to not loose their balance and to top it off with a lost expression in their face.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Not Fair

I've got 20 people to look after during my shift. I am responsible to make sure that they finish their duties and everything is ready for the next shift. I deal with them for 10 hours every single day seven days a week, 8 to 10 months. I certainly know who is who, who is good at his work, who is a mamagallo (ship term for lazy) and who is an excellent worker. When it comes to give promotions me and my collegues have our top 5 list of guys who really deserves promotion. And in most of the cases the Manager of the Dept. consults us before taking the decision. However, this time the assist. manager didn't consult us and he gave it to someone who is not bad, but not the best. It made me upset, because there are couple of guys with more time in the company with a lot of experience and really reliable workers, and for some reason they don't get it. Unfair no? What should I tell to this particular guys? keep on working good, that someday you'll get it? Yes, but would they understand? would they really want to understand, when it is an unfair situation? Yes, yes, I know, things like this you get to see everywhere and will never stop to happen, specially when we are not under God's guidance and will. When we decide to walk according to God's will, this kind of bad decisions that affect people won't occur. Only with God's wisdom we will be able to take the best decisions ever and to be a living testimony for His glory. May God help us.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Quite Time Reflexions

Couple of sunrises ago, I was on the uppest open deck waiting for the sunrise with my usual cup of coffee. The previous night as I was reading my Bible, this verse caught my attention which says that God will certainly bless the just and like with a shield he will surround him with his favor. Then this other verse which says, For You are my surrounding shield, my glory and the one who lift my head. I was thinking on those verses, and it became evident that He is taking care of me all the time, he protects me and he loves me beyond my understanding. So when I was up there feeling the cool californian morning breeze in my face and trying to understand better those verses, I realized how enormous is the sea, I directed my gaze all around me and saw no limit to the surrounding sea and sky and though I couldnt see the air I could feel it because it was evident that it was hitting my face. I came with the conclusion that God favor toward his children is just as enormous as the sea and sky is and even more, His protection and blessing goes beyond the infinitines of the universe and though people might think we christian are crazy because we believe in something we can not see with our natural eyes, we yet can feel it, sometimes not very perceptible but sometime very evident and palpable just like the strong breeze that was hitting my face that cold morning of last saturday.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Today or I should say yesterday while I was still sleeping I had one of those strange, though nice dreams you get to have sometimes. I normally can´t remember what I dream, but this particular time I dreamed about my very good friend Tamara. She is a lovely young girl from my country I met looooong time ago. And though we dont get to see each other frequently mostly because I am abroad, each time we get to see each other is such a wonderful time. I remember last time I met her after a long time without seeing her, we lock ourselves in a brotherly hug. We spent a lot talking and talking about our lives and dreams. We spent a whole week in an indian village with some missionaries american kids translating for them. Thing is that I woke up in the middle of the night to the sad reality that I was away from my country not to mention from her. I dreamed that I ran into her at a physical rehabilitation center were I had studied when I was in college and she was there surrounded by lillte kids and my formers profesors. I was very happy and then......beep beep beep- the clock alarm. Anyway, that was a warm feeling I had during the morning. Tammy if you ever get to read this, I tell you what...I miss you so much!

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Checking One, Two, Three...

I am just checking this feature I discoverd in my blog settings. To post a blog from an email? sweet...that means, no more wasting of money. Since internet onboard is extremely expensive.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Flying my Mind Back to the Past

The good thing of working night shift is that you get the chance to see wonderful sunrises, that normally you wont see. I've seen such a variety of colors that mixed up with the clouds and the waves of the sea, just makes an exceptional view that can relaxe yourself in such a way that you get to forget your reality. The other day, as we were approching our destiny in the Mexican riviera, I went to the highest open area floor at 6:20 am and it still was dark and foggy, despite the fact that I couldnt see more than 20 feets away from where I was standing, I definetely could smell land. This brought to my attention something I did read ages ago when I was still a child. Christopher Columbus and his crew when arriving to the land to be discovered could smell it even before seeing it. I know, this sounds childish but I just felt like I was living that moment again. Then bip bip bip bip, that little annoying thing called pager was ringing......back to reality, someone trying to reach me. At least I had 20 wonderful minutes alone just thinking to myself and admiring the perfect world created by the all powerful Creator.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Wet and Wild

Yesterday there was crew party onboard. It started around 11:00 pm. I've been to quite some crew party, and normal. Just hanging out with my pals, and eating. Now, every crew party (once a month) has a specific theme, like for example, 70's outfits, or craziest hats, or taste of nations where everyone puts on their attires from their countries and so on. I must admit, they are very creative with the themes. Now, for your better understanding of how things works on here, when there is a crew party the crew dinning room remains close and they have dinner served at the same place where they held the party. This time, the theme of the party was "Wet and Wild" lol, yes. It was on open deck where there is one of the main pools of the ship. So when I entered my first reaction was to move aside instantly cuz a bunch of water was thrown my way by who knows who. I was starving, hadnt had dinner. So I couldnt get food where the crew is supposed to get food. The party consisted in soaking everyone around who was dry. It sounds fun, but I work night shift, and there is nothing funny on being wet when you are with your uniform. Solution? went to one of the guest restaurants and got some good food.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Not Easy

Puff....stress is something becoming so familiar nowadays around here. To much pressure from the bosses. A lot of taka taka (hard time term, in who knows what language). We've even got a new manager assistant from another ship to help here until we pass public health. Now, this guy, is the kind of person that dont care a bit about what others think about his decisions. He's came on sunday, and right away, he started making changes that are affecting everyone. Just one day was enough to make one of my guys to resign. And this is sad. This guy had been working for the company for 11 years, and he is an excellent worker, and I can not believe that he hadnt being given promotion yet. He told me, Josh, I have had enough, I dont need this anymore! Puff...that was a huge hit to me. Sometimes I wonder why lazy people who dont know to much are in good positions and even get promotions, and people who really deserves promotion because of their hard effort, never get it. Life seems to be unfair. However I know that everything happens for a reason that we might never know, but God. Its not easy even to understand. Sometimes I dont even want to ever understand and just give myself peace of mind by complaining about how unfair life can be to somes. May God help me.

Monday, August 23, 2004


I think I am starting to excercise myself again for the thousand time. It happens that everytime I set myself for it, I got all excited. The previous day to the first day, I am very much willing to be succesful, the first day, I do ok, lot of running, and weight lifts, second day, still ok, though kind of sore from the first tough day, then the third day, I am kind of getting lazy, and I start thinking about continuing my program and then I dont go next day, promising myself that I'd go next day, and so on. Thats pretty much my story. But I am getting fat (bombolon -- fat term in philippines) so I set my mind again to start working out. Lets see how long it takes until I give up, hope its not to soon. Ship life can be dangerous, specially if you work during the night. In my case, I keep eating all night long to keep myself awaken and then after finishing my shift I go sleep till next day. Puff....! Something must be done.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

USPH failure

Last week was one of those really dark moments that someone can have. We were expecting USPH (u.s. public health) which is the one who check that everything related to healthy conditions are ok. The thing is that we failed and everything now is a mess. We were not supposed to fail cuz we were well prepared, however that was our fate. I felt so so bad, that I was just about to resign, not that it was my fault, but as a person responsible of it, I felt extremely sad, disappointed and depressed. I called home at 3:00 am from the middle of the sea, and talked to dad and mom, it was such a good thing, I felt better, confortable. One thing I did realize there was how blessed I am, to have both my parents support in prayers and whatever way. They were very supportive and they told me, that they were praying and whatever decision I take there was no problem. Anyway, I did consider it again, and I am staying on the ship, I wont give up so easily, at least not with Jesus help.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

On the Road Again

Travel photography evokes all sorts of images, from the 19th century vistas in fading albumen prints to satellite images made miles above our planet. The aim of most travel work is to share a sense of place, a feeling of "being there" that only the camera can capture. It can mean a sense of adventure, of the survey photos made in the days of exploration of the American West, or simply trophy shots of totems like the Eiffel Tower, which say, "I was there". And some would say that any shot made outside your front door constitutes a travel picture, with some notable teachers, such as Ruth Bernhardt, creating assignments for students to discover images not more than 50 ft from the steps to their house. However yo define it, and whatever images it evokes for you, travel is a way to "skin the eyes", to look with fresh vision upon the world. A photographic traveler is open to the world and all its beauty, something that we should all aspire to every day of our lives. It is to maintain the eyes of a traveler that all photographers should aspire. For many photographers, a journey early in life made with a camera sets them on a career path. In discovering how photography alters their experience they discover their passion for its art and craft. They see how it brings them into places they would not have ventured, makes them explore less traveled roads, and creates encounters with people they might never have otherwise met. It engages them in seeing and considering how to render and express their personal vision that no studio, no amount of academic study can provide. Travel and photography are inextricably bound. The pictures we capture on the road are more than just memories, they are the record of how we saw the world in a certain time at a certain place in our lives.

...Editor´s note of Shutterbug magazine.

Thursday, August 05, 2004


Uhmm... when everything seems to be ok. and you are getting everything under control, you get out of the blue 7 brand new people that comes to the ship. It is nothing funny to train them how to do their job. One, two, even three, is ok. You can train them and have peace of mind and even hava some spare time for yourself, but 7....what was the company thinking of? Me....running like a beheaded chicken, from one place to another, making sure they are not destroying My sincere respect to those elementary school teachers. How could you possible control all of them at the same time, without going nuts and not loosing your temper and still have a huge smile on your corrugated face? Lol. Simply Impossible. On the very good news I finally got the book I was so seeking for a looooong loooong time. It happened in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. I was looking for this christian book that talks about how to understand the Islam in order to be able to witness those who believe in it and be efficient. Finally got it, and now I am studying it. Its got a lot of truths that you know, but you didnt A paradox, but it is so interesting. I am so willing to talk to my friends from India, and Asiatics countries about Jesus Christ. Also I bought this cd from Guardian "I will never say good bye" ....yes, yes, I know, it is an old disc, but before I didnt have the money to buy it, and I had to pirate it from the net, now I am being legal and I bought it. I love all the songs from that cd. It is in spanish, and actually is a compilation of the best songs from the moment of Guardian. Sweet!

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Akward Situation

The other day, I was invited to the weekly managment dinner of my department held in the main dinning room of the ship.  The thing is that usually those who attends this weekly dinner to get togheter are either my bosses or same rank ppl like me.  We all have to work togueter.  However, when it comes to bussiness we have to argue and fight all the time.  Thats the way it is.  So I was sitting there at the table with all these ppl and I was like, Ok. I am just out of place, like a fish in the outer space, like a child without his finger to suck. lol.  Anyway, I didnt see the time to escape from it.  At last I could invent an excuse to leave and the manager asked why would I leave early...! 
On the good note of the day, today I did something I've ever wanted to do.  I along with my friend Maria took this parachutte that is pulled by a fast boat.  It was scaring at the beggining, but it was an excellent sensation when I started taking off the sand.  The view was just amazing.  Note that it is just waaaay different than to fly in an airplane, since you are in direct contact with the air, hanging from some ropes and a huge parachutte, at who knows how many feets from the sea, with a scary feeling of falling down all of the sudden. Ufff....but it worth it, and I'll doing again if I had to.
On the not very good note of the day, I was changed I work night shift.  So I am still getting used to be awaken during all the night.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

The Lost Dr. Seuss Poem

I love my job.  I love the pay.
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss, he is the best.
I love his boss and all the rest.

I love my office and its location.  I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and grey, and piles of paper that growe each day.
I think my job is really swell, there's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers, I love their leers and jeers and sneers.
I love my computer and its softwares, I hug it often though it won't care.
I love each program and every file, I love them more if they worked a while.

I am happy to be here, I am, I am.
I am the happiest slave of the firm, I am
I love this work, I love these chores.
I love the meetings with deadly bores.
I love my  job, I'll say it again, I even love those friendly men.
Those friendly men who've come today, in clean white coats to take me away.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Hablando con Dios

fecha: 17 de Julio 04 Hora: 7:45 AM
Gracias amigo por compartir este te conmigo. Estamos solos  tu y yo... hablemos, mientras tu presencia me reconforta háblame, aunque no quiera escuchar, háblame... por favor, quiero sentir la sensación y certeza de tu presencia ahora aquí junto a mí. ¿Quién es tan arrogante como Carlos? Me dices tan claramente. No hay duda eres tu, que puedo responder, es la verdad soy arrogante te he desafiado en estos días, he cuestionado tu proceder un miserable y tonto como yo, se atreve a levantar la voz, lo siento perdona mi arrogancia. “¿Para que malgastar el tiempo tratando de agradar a Dios?” Responde mi corazón..   Será que me estoy enfocando en lo material porque mi vida no es diferente a lo que no te sirven. “Escúchame con  entendimiento”...   otra vez es seguro esa es tu voz...   tan dulce y firme, tan directa y clara, ¿acaso puedo ignorarlo?.  Necesito ese entendimiento para aceptar tu soberanía en mi vida en estos días de zozobra en mi  andar espiritual. .. “Por el contrario castiga a los pecadores”... Dios, ten paciencia con este miserable pecador, con el mas rebelde tus hijos, ten paciencia si no escucho tu llamado. “No hay mayor verdad que esta: Dios nunca es malo ni injusto”.   No ha sido eso mismo lo que pensé que eras injusto conmigo?  que no le importabas mis necesidades... y que de alguna manera yo tenia que arreglármelas solo.  Perdona mi arrogancia. “Escucha ahora y procura entender”... No puedo entender Dios trato y no puedo, no puedo entender tu manera de ser, tu manera de actuar tienes mi vida, esta manos has lo mejor... pero no lo veo no puedo percibir que te muevas en mi vida, y no puedo entender... perdona mi arrogancia. “Vas tú a condenar al Omnipotente Juez? ¿Vas a condenar a este Dios?” Me he estado rebelando a tu soberanía porque  no entiendo porque soy rebelde porque soy terco... perdona mi arrogancia. ... “Pero si él prefiere no hablar, ¿Quien podrá censurarlo?”.  No guardes silencio ahora necesito escucharte, ¿será que no te quiero escuchar? Perdona mi arrogancia. ... “¿Tendrá Dios que acomodar su justicia a tus exigencias?” .  Yo se que no tiene que ser así, pero no podrías hacer que mi vida fuera un poco mas fácil.? Perdona mi arrogancia. ... “¿Tendrá que cambiar el orden del universo para satisfacer tus caprichos?”.   No puedo pedir eso es mucha osadía de mi parte, si lo que estoy pidiendo es un capricho, si lo que siento es algo pasajero, tu lo sabes.   Perdona mi arrogancia. ... “La respuesta es evidente hasta para ti...” No puedo negarme ante tanta evidencia de que estas hablándome como mi verdadero amigo haciéndome ver la verdad. ... “Aun sin ser muy listo, cualquiera estará de acuerdo conmigo en que tu Carlos hablas como un necio...”.   Mis palabras no tienen sentido, todo lo que soy parece que no tiene sentido, y estoy de acuerdo en tus palabras. ... “Deberías recibir el máximo castigo por la forma perversa que has hablado acerca de Dios... Porque ahora además de tus pecados has añadido la rebeldía, la arrogancia y la blasfemia.” Oh Dios perdóname no sé que me pasa, que tu mano sostenga mi vida en este tiempo oscuro y frió en mi vida.  Perdona mi arrogancia.

PD.  Palabras escritas por un muy buen amigo escritas en tiempo de angustia espiritual.  El nombre es ficticio.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Another Gone Week

huh huh huh... Its 5 weeks since I came onboard. Time doesnt wait no one. And thats good, considering that if time pass fast, I'll be back home soon. I use to evaluate how my week are, and this last one which ended today, I can say that I was productive and good. Bad things? sure a lot of them, but in overall I feel that victory was mine through the week. Good things? definitely yes. Couple of days ago, I realized that I was losing my temper so easily with all this ppl around me who always seem to need something. Since part of my job is to supply whatever they need to work, they constantly are asking for stuffs. But when you have 50 cooks asking at the same time for stuffs and not in the best and nicely way, and then you have another whole bunch of other ppl needing attention from you, then a simple wrong question or attitude from one of them can trigger my nerves shut, and then is when I loose my temper. I realized about this because of this I was starting to feel angry and thats definitely not one of the fruit of the Spirit. So I started checking myself and promising myself not to loose it easily. I was determined to just let it pass and be cooled down. But I kept losing it constantly and pretty frequently. At first I got more upset at myself for not being able to control it, but then after failing so many times I started laughing at myself for my incapability to accomplish, and then just then I realized that the only way was asking for God's help to overcome this. Have I completely overcome it? no wicked way (lol) but, everytime I fail to do so, I dont get upset at myself and I ask for God's help. Another good thing I just noticed was that today I just felt the need to be thankful to God, and I just started saying thanks over and over again to Him. Dont get me wrong, I havent won the lottery or gotten a promotion or one of those super things. Just the opposite, things are not all ok and problems seem to be around the corner just to assault you and I just feel the urge to say Thanks to God. Thats a good thing, it changes my attitud to good.

Friday, July 09, 2004

Snorkling Day

Today I took one of the tours offered by the ship to the guests. We went snorkling. First time I ever come offboard in Cabo San Lucas (Mexico). Located in Baja California. This is an amazing place. Everything is brand new, buildings, streets, shopping centers, restaurants, the whole downtown is brand new. First thing I did notice is that this place is so different with the rest of places I´ve been b4. This whole place is owned by rich ppl who built this place to stay in here during their vacation time (or whenever they wish) So you wont see to many locals in here, though is a huge place, there are not to many locals. Plenty of big houses resting on top of the hills and huge boats and fancy cars are the rule in here. Today I just felt myself freed, free from the stress, the noise, the job itself. It was good and I did take plenty of pictures as well. Well, gotta go back to my sad j/k.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Another Day on Board

Today, its been one of those days that you feel not very victorious and you start thinking why wouldnt you feel God's presence at all. Suddenly I did find myself deeply sad today. I even lost my appetite. Why would you feel such a pain and sadness even when you are connected to God. Yesterday I kept all day repeating loudly Bible verses and still I wouldnt feel myself happy. Normally in these situations I find peace in bed, sleeping, just forgetting about everything. But I do realize that, that's exactly where the devil wants me. Even though it appears that God doesnt answer my prayers, I know He's there, but it's hard to bless His name when you dont feel very good.
I just came from outside, went to get some fresh air, and I found out there 5 of my guys. One of them was fired because he stole one red bull from the bar. He works in one of the bars and he was on duty when the Manager saw him drinking it. So he assumed that he stole it from the bar. He is sent home this coming sunday. So he was drinking and getting drunk, so where the others guyz. I felt bad for him, he doesnt know another way to overcome this situation but to get drunk. He was talking and talking nonsenses things. Its sad when you come across this things. May God have mercy of him.

Sunday, July 04, 2004

God Taking Care of his Children

Couple of hours ago, while still on duty, I was completely in shock to see one of my guys face covered in blood. I didnt have a clue what happened to him, he only managed to say somebody hit him. He was a little bit unconsiuos. Minutes later I learned that one of his fellow co-worker hit him hard enough to make him bleed all over his mouth, ears and cejas. I took him down to the infirmary and on the way I tried to understand what had happened, but I couldnt understand him very well. Anyway, thing is that the other guy has a very bad attitud. I remember that first week I came, I tried nicely to talk to him and let him know that he had to follow instructions, but he would just totally ignore me. Many times I tried to make him follow my instructions but it was useless. So I had to take him to my boss and he talked to him and scolded him seriously. I saw in his stare that he really was pissed off and he didnt even answered properly to him. I've learned from the past people like him that dont tell you nothing and suddenly they react and do terrible things. I did see that in his eyes. Cold eyes. He definetely was really upset at me, and I didnt mess up with him anymore since there. I did rather ask to someone else to do whatever I needed to be done. A creepy thought hit my mind, the covered blood face guy could had been me, but God is always taking care of his children, I am so grateful to Jesus that he protected me from evil and constantly is.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004


whoo whoo... I am wicked physically tired today. Just finished my work after 12 exhausting hours. I havent even change my cloth and I went off board. Never done that before, you see, in a little bit more than an hour the ship set sail and usually after finishing working I go to my cabin change cloth and have dinner, but today I just felt that stressed that I just went out to have some fresh air, but my friend Mexico is sooooooo hot, its 8:30 pm and I am sweating like a monster and I am just sitting here doing nothing else but typing. There is a lot of people out here, and a lot of crew fellow members who doesnt speak spanish and I dont feel like to speak english now. So I went just walking and walking to see someone familiar but nothing. So I met a couple of guys from here and start talking about everything and nothing. I feel definietely better now! I am just going to drink a coke and I make my day or the rest of it.!!!

Monday, June 28, 2004


Couple of days ago, to be exact on wednesday of last week I got real bad. I woke up to an intense pain in my lower abdomen. It was 3:00 am and I was very unconfortable in my bed when I woke up and I knew right there what it was. Kidney stones. I went to the infirmay and beeped the nurse on duty. I was almost dying of pain, I couldnt be on my feet or sitted, there was no position that made me kind of confortable. And this veterinarian....I mean, nurse wouldnt give me something to ease my pain. She insisted on me peeing first to examine it and then determine what to do, so after a while of insisting and complaining (If I could had sweeped I had done it, but even that hurt me more) she gave me a shot of who knows what and told me to go to my cabin and come back at 8:00 in the morning. I went back to my cabin but 20 min. later I was back in the infirmary with the same killing pain. This time she had to call the physician to see me. She came and I told her that I really needed something to kill the pain, I felt like if I was to pass out any time there. So she put me an IV and gave me a stronger drug. Almost in that same second I did feel better. End of episode. Next day I didnt show up to work and 4 days later I went to a hospital in L.A. Now, until this same moment I dont know how I got out of that hospital in good shape. First thing I see when I entered it was a gangaster lying in a bed, he was huge. When they assign me a bed, 5 min. later a 22 girl comes to the next bed, and she wouldnt stop talking. The curtain was close, so I thought that there were two persons next to me. She was talking and talking and I was sure that it was two persons having a loooooooong 4 hours non-stopable converstation. Shen I stood up to go to the restroom and I saw next bed, it was only her talking to herself and she even made two differet voices, the one who was actually speaking and the one who was listening and answering to herself.....I was like....OH MY GOD. I was in shock. Later on I learned that she was squizofrenic and had run from her house and ended somewhere around the hospital. To end my terrific story I had a CAT and it revealed that I had no kidney stone at all which is an excellent news. Doc says that I did pee it already. So here I am. God taking care of everything.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Important Lesson

The other day I learned something that changed my perception of what blinded and total obedience is, even if I don’t get to know the why of it sometime soon. It happened when I was making sure that some stuffs were properly done where I work at. This guy who is under my charge, I told him to pour some cleaning chemical out of its recipient into the floor so we could brush it, however, what I didn’t knew was that the recipient was sealed with a thin and almost invincible paper to protect the chemical to come out accidentally. And I was telling this guy, to put the recipient upside down, and I was rushing him; he tried to tell me that I was wrong, that he needed to take out that little piece of paper first, but I was on a rush and I wouldn’t listen to him, so he obediently and without complaining about my lack of knowledge did put the recipient upside down and started simulating that the chemical was coming out, then and only there I realized about my mistake and I was in shock. Later on that day I thought about it and it impacted me that he wouldn’t even question my decision and wouldn’t even complain and get upset with me because I was making him lose his time doing something useless. I am a supervisor where I work at. I get to make a bunch of important decisions that will affect a lot of things. So people have to follow my instructions no matter if they are wrong or right, I expect them to follow and not to complain, I accept suggestions, but If I don’t agree with them they still have to do what I say, just to find at the end that I was wrong. Jesus Christ is our chief in command supervisor, he definitely takes the most important decisions on the whole universe, however he never is wrong, he sees things that we cannot see. And he knows what is good for us. He wants the best for me, he has got a perfect plan for my life and in order for me to reach it, I have to obey him what he says in the Bible. He wants me to be obedient always, blinded if you wanted to call it that way. When people follow my instructions there will be always a doubt if my decisions is correct, but when we obey whatever God tells us to do, we can be infinite sure that its is a wise instruction and that at the end we will enjoy the result of our obedience. He won’t make us lose our time following useless things. And even though today I don’t get to understand fully why I am here, He knows the why, if I don’t get to know it sometime soon? I don’t mind, my heart and mind is in peace because who I am obeying to, will not fail and be ever wrong.

Friday, June 18, 2004

Talking About Safety

It is so common to hear nowadays everywhere about terrorism and how to make our world more safe. This is the very truth. No other way to find ourselves more safe than in Him. Think about it!!!


Thursday, June 17, 2004

Tough Week

Uff....its been crazy, so many pressure and stress togueter I can barely stand. However things are not all bad, God has given me the chance to talk about my faith to some people I ve met recently and I ve found out that, that is so refreshing, at the end I feel like new, I don´t know exactly why, but thats how I feel. Couple of hours ago, I went to downtown Mazatlan, Mexico with a guy I barely know from the ship, and the one thing that he told me was that b4 going to eat somewhere, he wanted to go to the local catholic cathedral, so we went there. After I while, he was done and he was just there quite. I felt that I had to talk to him. At the beggining I was puzzled, cuz I mean, I want to obey to God when he gives me an order, but we where at a temple where it is supposed to be quite and not to be talking, so I was thinking, ok, as soon as we come out I will find the opportunity and talk to him, but then a second thought hit my mind and it was, maybe God want you to do it right now in this very place. So I put all my braveness together and sat by his side and started talking, and eventually I felt how God took control of the situation and put the words he needed to hear...I am glad I did it. I dont know if he will ever listen to this again, but he´s heard about it now. I will keep praying for him so he commits his life to Him, the more important decision ever to make.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Welcome to Long Beach California

First days at Pride, Carnival has been quite and normal. I came on board last sunday (jun. 6) Something that is freaking me out is the fact that on this ship we change time twice a week, like when we are at L.A. at 12:00 am we have to go one hour forward and then on friday same week when we arrive a port in mexico we go one hour back at 12:00. I dont want to forget that, otherwise I could arrive one hour late or before to work! It would be bad to arrive one hour late, but it would be way worse to arrive one hour before. Anyway, the Hotel Manager was saying that we need to be more hospitable so he challenged us to be as friendly as we could, smiling all the time and greeting everybody either passangers or crew members. I thought of it, and of course that it´s not mandatory, you dont have to if you dont want to be smiling like a beauty queen to everybody, (I am not the kind of person whois very sociable, so dont expect from me that) however, I did give it a second thought and realized that in that way I would get to know more ppl withouth having to go to the crew bar which its meant to know ppl. Now crew bar, I tell you, its just a dense cloud of smoke, so being there its not healthy at all. So I have been practicing the smiling and greeting stuff since couple of days, and to tell you the truth since I am not use to it, in some cases I just feel like stupid lol, but I guess its working.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

The Day After Tomorrow

I ve been hanging around with two peruvian friends during the last previous days. We ve been spending a lot of time getting to know each other and sharing stories and anecdotes of our previous contracts on board (Carnival Cruise Line). Its been fun. Yesterday we were just talking about nothing and everything by the pool, and suddenly I saw the opportunity to start talking about God. I had been praying the whole week about having a space to talk about Jesus. And yesterday that moment came. So we started talking about God existance. One of them calls himself atheist, and the other two catholics. So nice panorama did I have. They started insisting on why to give money to churches, and said that they were thefts. Conversation turned pretty tough, and I found myself indefense in many areas, I couldnt have an accurate answer to their questions, like how can you be sure that Creation was made by God, and it wasnt product of Evolution. I could sense that they were just hanging off the branches, so I dediced to go all over the story from the beggining of Creation, Gods perfect relationship with Adam and then the rupture of it, and then over to Jesus first coming and establishing a path to Him again, and how easy is just to accept his forgiveness and love and start living according to his great plan for ourlives. So I insisted on that. Unfortunately they didnt want to listen to it and they just went around trivialities. At the end of those 2 hours I felt frustated, and I went to my room and began to pray about it, and I God told me that I made my part and He is the one who changes people heart. So I did cast away evil thoughts about failure. And I began feeling way better. Now I have three more persons to pray for. My list is getting bigger, but I feel that I am doing what God wants me to do!
Next sunday I'll be flying to L.A. to take my ship. 5 hours flight. Pray for me

PD. Blog Title??? lol I dont know, I saw the movie and was so so

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Short Vacations at Miami

This is crazy, I came from Panama last sunday, I arrived at the hotel where I was supposed to get my air ticket to my final destination in L.A. My ticket was there, but was scheduled to be at 7:00 am same day....and I arrived at 11:00 am...Weirdo huh. So I am being punished here with not to much to do really. I´ve met some people at the hotel, we rented a car and tried to get to know some. Not to mention that none of us is absolutely familiarized with american adress system and streets, avenues and all those stuffs...what it was intended to be a 40 min. trip to Dolphin International Mall, took us almost 4 hours! We were so lost, we were in agony, stressed and getting mad, but finally with two maps in hand and millions of questions to people around we made it, and it worth it. Back to hotel? same story lol, but I think we are having some fun. Late at night we went to south beach, its beautiful no question. My friends even went inside the beach at 12:00 am. Then we had some banana and strawberry milk shakes at one of the cafes. Tons of people hanging around in discos, stunning last models cars, fashion clothes and famous people. Later on that night I thought to myself how empty are all these people. If I just simply look at them, I will see that they have got all the imaginable success in world. But then, if I look closer, I see unhappy people, with no worthy goals to reach other than getting more and more money which is not bad, but make them slave of it. I so many times complains about not having all the money I wish to have to do what Id like to do. And I start making plans and strategies of how I could get that money, how long will it take to, and I start daydreaming about it. At the end I find myself spending more time daydreaming and planning than fasting and praying to the One who has the best for his son, Me. And He tells me, to spend more time with Him looking for His will for my life and He would bless me in an awesome way. Jabez was a man, you wont find to much about him in the Bible. (2 Chronicles something. He was in disadvantage regarding to everybody else. But one day he thought there should be something else in this life. And he claimed to God and ask him to bless him, to expand his territory, to keep him from evil and temptations... and the Bible says God granted his prayer and Jabez was more than his brothers. That was Jabez little but effective prayer. God may help me to understand better that piece of gold.

Saturday, May 29, 2004

My Last Hours at Panama

I realized just three days ago that I were to leave my country to get back to my job at Carnival Cruise Lines (USA). So I ve been so busy doing my bags and getting ready (keep in mind, that traveling abroad is never an easy task) My parents are sooo sad, mom is already missing me and so is sista is sort of happy in a way, she inherited my brand new cell phone and my disc! little sisters!! I think I will miss my family so much, I came back a month and a half from USA and Ive learned to love them in a new way. To have them so far away is hard and sad. Anyway, I told my friends about my sudden departing and they got surprised. Ariel who is not very affective and open was like "are u serious?" he couldnt believe it and in a way I think both of us got sad cuz I told him about it today and he is outside of the city so we wont see each other. Deyda and Sandra my very good friends from church agreed to go out after church service saturday night but something went wrong and couldnt meet, indeed I talked with them and we were very sad we could not be able to see each other again until I come back...shoot! i am getting an emotional minute... lol. Anyway its been so fast that I didnt even had time to visit my only living grandpa. I will call him just before taking the plane. He is very sick, and what get me sadder is the fact of probably not seeing him again alive.
To make things worse today I had the opportunity to see how difficult and uncomfortable and even dangerous is for a friend to go to church...its so far and she lives in a very dangerous zone, so when she gets back from church late in the night, she is in danger of being harmed by a gangster and EVEN SO, she wants she needs (according to herself) to go to church... I live only 17 min away from same church, I can take a bus ( I dont have a car yet) and get there, but I wont do it cuz I dont like to take buses, so I my parents cant go for any reason, then I cant go too. I dont live in a so dangerous neighboorhod, I am not that far away from church, I am not that poor like her, and I am just not grateful for all those blessings God has given to me!!!! Shame on me! But I realized that bymyself which is good and repented and told My Jesus that I would be doing more to be grateful and more to reach ppl for Him. He is so good! all the time, he is merciful, loyal to me and He deserves my dedication to serve Him and grow in Him.
Other than that, I had a great time with God today at church, worshiping Him and in conmmunion with Him! God is Awesome, He rocks"

Friday, May 28, 2004

The Best Long Term Investment

Today at church this preacher was talking about what happens when you havent set properly your priorities. He used Mary and Martha story with Jesus, when He was teaching at Maria´s place. Mary was so busy trying to fulfill all pending tasks and was so stressed with it that she forgot that spending time with the One who fulfills everything trough Him was the best option to take. Instead, Martha understood that investing in a healthy relationship with Jesus was way better. She took her time to listen to Him, listen to His wisdom, to the Living Word. Everything else was secondary at that moment. So many times I use to get worry and I find myself concerning about my future, about getting a better job, about getting a great car, about so many wordly things that I just dont have enough time to think in anything else but the ways to reach it. I dont even get time for having quality prayer time, quality praise and worship time, and listening to Gods voice. Just like Mary I find myself trying to over all things fulfill "my" dreams doing everything possible, and with that I get stressed, depressed, angry, sad, mad etc when things doenst work out. This preacher stated that nothing I have and could ever have belongs to me, not my time, not my health, efforts, kids, even wife...any moment I could get deadly sick, children will grow up and leave afterwards my xtreme effort to rise them, and even my wife can either die or leave me, who knows??? and all the heavy effort invested on it gets losts, so in the end I will find myself alone, frustrated, and without a purpose. However if I decide to have Jesus Christ first in my life, I spend time praying, reading His Word, growing up my relationship with Him, I will not only enjoy everything else, but even when grieve time comes I will be able with Gods support to overcome it. In the hipotetically event that my family abandom me, and I get deadly sick and I got economically ruined, and friends ignore me, I will still have a forever supportive and friendly father, friend and God. He promises me that He will take care of me, and thats what counts! Mostly girls who thinks that body beauty is everthing and spend a bunch of money on tanning, gym, diets and those things (which is not bad) age will come and destroy it. Nothing last forever, only your experiences with Jesus will last. The more you study and know Him, the more awesome experiences you will have with Him, the more you obey Him you will get rewarded, not only here but in Heaven where you will have treasures that wont corrupt and no thief can take away.
There was this wise british person, had 8 doctor degree, was one of the most influential personalities in his country, had everything, money, fame whatever, you name it. He was a Jesus follower as well. One day, when he was 92 he was diagnosed with Alzaimer disease. Now for those who dont know whats that, it is a disease where you start forgetting things, and eventually you cant remember nothing at all, even your name, the inside of your own home and you even forget your family members, cant remember their faces, and names. Well when this guy turned 96 he was just in the worst part of this illness and once he said..."I can not remember my name, I get lost inside my own house, but there is one thing that I can not forget and that is Jesus Christ my Saviour" YOu see, at the end when age comes nothing can last forever, I can achieve all possible doctors degree and can be the most influential person in the world, I can be as rich as Bill Gate and as smart as King Solomon but all those things will pass and ONLY what I invested with Jesus Christ will last forever and ever. Thats why I get frustrated with myself, I only spend 5 min. praying and barely read the Bible, I rather spend time watching BS TV programs, and online and almost nothing on what its supposed to be my short, medium and long term investment...what a bad investor I am... at the end what will last and worth is if I was an obedient son, honest person, happy, full of love and joy, peace and all the fruits of the Spirit.
I want to finish my essay with this awesome example of braveness and honor.
Tertuliano was the first ever openly defender of christianity. He lived after Jesus period. He is the example of the christian I want to be. He preached all around to people, he set example with his own life, and people started to listen to him. One day Herodes put him on jail and told him that he was going to do something terrible with him if he didnt stop preaching. Herodes threatened him to send him away from his country, family and friends to a place where there was nobody to live with and even talk with. He said, "No problem, even in such a situation I wont be absolutely alone" Herodes got madder and told him, "ok, I will take away from you all your possesions, lands, money and you will be broken" Tertuliano said "no problem, God will provide what I need" Herodes was getting really really pissed off and he said "you think you are smart huh, I will take away your life" and Tertuliano said, "For me to live is Christ and to die is winning" (trying to translate that verse from spanish). Life can take from me and you money, they can take away health, family, loved ones, job, house, car, friends and even my own life, but what it can not take away from me is JESUS CHRIST. If I am mistreated here on earth because of Him, he will support me, if i am killed I will meet Him. So there is no way to be a LOSER...not a chance!
Give it a try!!! Its the Best ever investment

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Working 2Get the Crown of Life

Hi world, couple of minutes ago, I decided to have my own blog space...
I decided to name it like I did, cuz in the end of everything, what I want to reach is the so named crown that is meant to be for me. Unfortunately is not Spain King crown, however is a better one and it is waiting for me. So working to get a crown is just a phrase that make me remember that like everything to be aquired needs to be worked to get it. I am working on my attitud toward specific things in my life, I am working on my weaknesses that hold me to sin and some other stuff`s. I so want, and God knows that its true, that I want to obey Him the way He wants me to do it. Life is not easy, temptation is always around the bend waiting to assault you. Our red tailed enemy knows that if you are not strong enough those temptations will make you fall so easy. That just makes evident that we need to hold ourself strong to the ROCK the One who will make us stand firm through temptation, depression, loneliness and whatever it comes. Apostle Paul said that to run and to fight till the end of the race is what I am supposed to do in order to get the award. Jesus said "I won´t let you alone and down ever" With those two things in mind there´s no excuse to get the Crown.