Facing My Fears and Defeating Them All

Some time ago, one of my many fears was to be assigned to a particular class of ship within the company because among other things, it seemed to me a horrible place and very unconfortable place to work and live.  Well, guess what? For my third contract I got assigned to an even worse class of ship than the one I feared.  I felt I was not gonna make it and it was not a nice feeling.  Eventually I overcame that fear and that was all about it.  I am very much afraid of changes, as a matter of fact I don't like them, they make me feel insecure and unsafe.  However, the truth is, God wants to deal with this area in my life and he assures me that putting my trust in him rather than in the "what if's" or "I won't make it's" or any other excuse is what I ought to do.  Seems to me that God is destroying every one of my fears one by one by making me go through them and facing them.  Tought huh? Well it is, but at the end of the day, when I get hold of the victory, the feeling is unmeasureable.  For a couple of months I've been scared about some "bad guys" I might have to work with along the way in my job and although I would give anything to avoid them, God seems to be serious about this issue.  Apparently in a few weeks, I will have the chance to work with and it gives me the goosebump, but I am choosing to trust God and even consider being used to bless him.  After all, who can tell the future or know it but God? I praise God for every aparent block in my way which I choose to see it as a stepping rock to grow.  And there will be more fears to be destroyed and conquered.  I am up for it. Bring it on!!!

Updating

So I failed to post on a timely manner that fact that I have been transferred one more time from one ship to another. This was actually my third movement in one same contract. So after sailing in Paradise and finishing my training I was sent to Sensation, an old small ship and spent three long months which by God’s grace alone I managed to survive after facing some differences with a my co-worker. She is our boss’s wife, so things were not particularly fair. Never thought I would find myself in one of those creepy situations, but it happened and I learned some valuable lessons like, no matter how right you can be, never try to win an argument because at the end of the day you are still under the boss’s grip. Lol, of course, that is partially true, but I found about it the hard way. So, we were working very hard during those months to get ready for U.S. public health inspection which we passed nicely with a 97% score and I thought I was going to have a nice relaxation period, but....think again, not even three days after finishing the stressful never ending checking of cleanliness and procedures I was informed that I had been assigned to go on a different ship in a few days to help them get prepared for U.S. public health. Arg, that was a cold shower. So I left Sensation on nassau, bahamas, were I took my plane, which I almost missed because of the slowliness of the check-in process. I must have been checked 4 times along with my luggages 4 times at least, before getting into the plane. I finally reached Miami, where I spent overnight in a hotel and finally flew to Galveston, Tx. where I joined M/S Conquest my new home. It’s been almost two months now and also we finished with public health inspection, so now things are smooth. Although I must admit, that I have less responsabilities in here than I used to have in Sensation. There is still plenty of things that I need to learn, specially with the paperwork and budgeting administration. Hopefully I will get to learn a few things before going on vacation. Uhh, which reminds me about the sad fact that I won’t spend christmas time in panama, as I was expecting. Along with my change of ship, there was a change of vacation schedule. Before I was due vacation to 7 of Dec. Now, I am for 4 of Feb. So, that makes three more months to go, before steping on panamenian soil. I need prayers, cuz I am not quite sure if I am to come back next contract. I am not feeling it, but I don’t want to do something out of my feelings. I want to do it because it is God’s will.

True Comparison

During the last two weeks or so the weather hasn’t been sunny and nice as it is during summer time. It has been rainy, heavily windy that storm the ship from one side to another and make people throw up and wonder why on earth they chose to cruise on a ship. Of course that scene would change as the first two days passes by and would be replaced by the intense heat and humid conditions of the caribbean. Anyway, the other day, while the ship was rocking heavily because of the rough sea and wind, I witnessed something extremely interesting. The sky was partially clouded by big heavy grey clouds threatening to rain hard on one side and on the other side it was sunny and lighted. It was a picture of hope and reassurance that everything was going to be back to normality. It was windy, the sea was splashing big waves and it was partially dark, but far in the distance there was a powerful feeling of secureness given by the sunlight. Suddenly I realized that my life could easily be represented by this whole picture. Perhaps surrounded by difficulties and stress, so much maybe that I fail to look at the side of the sky which is clear and shiny which ultimately represent the hope of my life. Then I felt an interior peace and the promises of the Lord who rushed to my mind that although the weather and sea might be rough, above those heavy grey clouds there is a huge shining happy sun who is going to eventualy defeat the darkness created by the problems and temporarily circumstances and rescue me from my own lack of faith.