Sunday, August 12, 2007

It’s not a secret for those who have dealt with me that I don’t speak or talk to much just for the sake of it. I rather prefer to be approached and get into a conversation. I feel much more confortable as an either pasive or active listener than of as a speaker. So having that in mind, I have seen how irregardless of my nature, God modifies or should I say upgrade a man’s attitude and particular behaviours inherent to a person, for better in order to carry out His purposes within and throughout a person. As I pray to Him and ask for boldness to witness to others about his love and gift I do realize that for me to achieve that, some major changes have to happen within me, namely, leaving aside the confortability of enjoying my quiteness and sometimes loneliness that I have learned to appreciate as part of my personality. It’s becoming often the times where I have had to spend consuming time talking to co-workers, friends and aquantainces about trivial things and then turn the conversation into a spiritual one where we get to discuss and share about that which ultimately can satisfy our soul and grant us eternal life. I guess, what I am trying to express, is that although I don’t enjoy talking to much, God is changing that upon a personal request, to serve Him by witnessing to others. This brings to my mind a joke I heard from a friend in which there was a brethen joyfully singing a popular christian song taken out from a Bible story in which he asked God to pour down fire, and he is clapping his hands and singing happily “Pour down fire O Lord, Pour down fire O Lord, and suddenly, fire start pouring down and he quickly change the words of the song to “I wasn’t serious O Lord, I wasn’t serious O Lord”. How many times haven’t we ask God to change our lives, to use us as living tools for his glory, how many times, haven’t we sang songs in which we say out loud that we’ll die and give up if need be our last drop of blood or our last breath for Him, and when a little hardship touches the doors of our lives we start crying and asking God where is he or why has he abandoned us. We tend to forget easily our promises and commitments towards God which is real dangerous. When we ask God for something we should expect Him to answer it and when that happens, we should be ready to accept and take up what we have asked. Our spiritual inconsistency cost a lot to the Kingdom of Christ and we will be held responsible for it. I watch in amaze how most girls can spend days talking non-stop about something or nothing and I do enjoy watching it and can’t help but wonder how they do it and as much as that amazes me, the fact that lately I have been in the front line getting myself into long and often conversations that start as trivial and meaningless and end up in something much more important tells nothing but the story of a Father who is willing to change a man’s ordinary behaviour upon his request in order to meet his beloved children prayer. Looking into retrospective, I have met many interesting and not so interesting people and somehow we have bounded and I have got many opportunities to talk to them about God’s love, purpose and eternal gift and while by nature I prefer not to talk or speak, I realize that He has been creating opportunities for it to change otherwise, because I have asked for it and while I feel tempted to turn the opportunities down, I have realized that I would be a fool by asking for something and then turning it down. God is good, for he listen to his loved ones prayers and answers them, just because he can.

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