Working 2Get the Crown of Life

The Multi-Colored Bracelet

2011-06-29T17:04:00.000-07:00

I don’t know why, but today it came to my mind a conversation I had with Aldo L. a few days ago, while having a terribly hard "churrasco" for dinner at a local restaurant. I happened to be wearing a rainbow-type multi-colored bracelet on my left wrist that I bought to a girl on the street a while ago, and decided to finally use it. Almost immediately, he noticed the bracelet and pointed out that this could be misleading to others, for it is well known that the gay community has adopted the rainbow colors as a way to identified themselves. We laughed and joked a bit about the thought and the possible implications of it and short after, almost instantly, we changed topics to something serious. After a while, I just took it off, because aside from the fact it was too tight and it was already cutting the air in there, the mere thought of been wrongly labeled made me somewhat uncomfortable.

We switched the conversation to something else and struggled with the medium well "churrasco" which was real hard, impossible and not that good anyways.

Today after meditating about the incident, it occurred to me that while carrying a Bible below the arm does not necessarily make me a Christian, the same way wearing a multi-colored bracelet does not makes me a gay, but it may bring an opportunity to draw some people to me that would otherwise wont, if they see me with a Bible below the arm. Then, there is the question of, if it is wise to expose oneself to such a party of people and in the process be wrongly labeled as a guy and even damage ones reputation. After all, we all have goals, jobs, family and our reputation have become part of our identity and tool of trade ...no one in their right mind will sacrifice it knowingly and willingly.
But......then again, there is a precedent, and as a disciple I am, I am bound to fill in his steps. Jesus was labeled a friend of sinners, prostitutes and the real low people in the society hierarchy. Interesting enough, Matthew decided to record this into his account of the Gospel for a reason.

9 As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at his tax collector's booth. "Follow me and be my disciple," Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him.

10 Later, Matthew invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. 11 But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with such scum?"

12 When Jesus heard this, he said, "Healthy people don't need a doctor-sick people do." 13 Then he added, "Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: 'I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.' For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."

After this episode on a common day, no big revelation, no big show, no miracle, just a mere incident that bring me back to the line where I should be walking, a line drawn by Him who I have decided to follow, not because of my own righteousness, but because His love for me is so much that I cannot ignore it and can´t help it but to embrace it with all my strength.

Father´s Day a day to think and meditate about

2011-06-19T16:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we celebrated yet another father's day down here in Panama amid the eventful sunday, while our national soccer team fought hard to give a memorable gift to all their fans including lots of dads. Another opportunity to get together as a family, as we all get older and busy with life, job, etc.

Early in the morning I texted dad and said thanks for his love, sacrifice and life. I am well aware that in a world where the word love and sacrifice means something total different, I have managed to understand and get it clear to myself that most of what I am today is because of daddy's sacrificial love. He stopped buying things for himself in order to meet not only my needs but my desires and I can remember how out of love he would enjoy it all together.

Daddy taught me to ride my first bike, to play my first guitar chord, to shoot my first camera, to drive his car, the importance of saving and not wasting the money, but most importantly, he taught me to love God, he taught me about Jesus' sacrifice for me, about my sin and how without him I had no hope. Daddy taught me since a very young age the importance of a united family who worship God together and depends upon Him for everything.

I then told him, that I have a role and example to follow and that one day I would rise my own family and would have the foundation to build it from. I expect to do it even better, but based on the solid example he and mom set for me and my siblings to follow. My parents were far from being perfect, but one thing I am convinced of, is about his unconditional love, a love that goes beyond description, a love that is hard to catch on a few lines and get it on a piece of paper.

I still remember the times before him and the belt that would correct my bad behaviour. He would say something like this: "son, this hurts me more than it does to you, but I do it because I love you, and I want just the best for you...I dont expect you to understand it know, but one day you will thank me", at the time I was "yeah, whatever" and as time has past......boy, does he was right.

Thank you dad. Your shoes are still big for me to fill up, but I am on it, confident that I have what it takes and what I need and most importantly the Holy Spirit's guide.

Jesus, the Reason of the Season

2011-04-25T17:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday on our way back from the countryside to the city, I got into thinking about the importance to me as a Christ follower of the most important event ever in human kind history. Everyone talks, tweets, posts on facebook about it. Long ago are the days when you would only be dragged into the "mood" by the sudden change of sensual and violent TV programs to the most "appropriate" classics movies of Moses, the Passion and all sort of similar pictures.

Like a robot, everyone changes their mood and we are all led to think and behave in a different manner, just as we are led to think and behave when it is halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, carnival and so an so. But as the season is over, all is gone. No real sense or meaning at all of what we celebrate.

I decided not to spend sunday morning at church as I'd normally do for two reasons..., and boy did I enjoy the day with a group of friends who love Jesus. We enjoyed and celebrated the resurrected-Christ thru the freedom He won for us, the freedom to live our lives to the fullest without fear and guilt, without a constant burden of condemnation that sins would bring upon our shoulders.

We celebrated our friendship by talking and chatting and playing like kids, I personally felt God's love and bountifulness for me thru my five senses. Once again I remembered that life, is much more about than the monotone routine of waking up early in the morning, going to work, saying yes to the boss, getting stuck in the traffic jam and back to the house to only repeat the cycle all over again.

May I always, always remember specially during those grey monotone days that there is much more to it, that I can make it count not only for eternity but for the day to day, that it does not have to be bored and that everyday in the life I has been gifted, I may be the light, He meant I to be.

Love you guys!

Aging

2011-04-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday during praise and worship at church I was sitting behind my parents and suddently it hits me that my parents are aging up and they are no longer young and strong the way they used to be when they raised us up and I suddently got real sad. I love my pop and mom so much, I have been raised well in the love of Christ, they have been a great example of a christian life and have stayed together for over 30 years now . Dad is turning 56 in a few days, or so says facebook and I suddently am sad.

I know the cycle of life includes death and it is such a powerful painful feeling deep inside. In words of R.Warren, that feeling we have where we consider it is unfair to lose someone to death, is deep-wired inside every man's brain, sort of a innate-primitive thingy...yeah, no wonder why, after all we were created to live forever, we were not meant to physically die.

Anyways, dealing with this feeling today.

World: Help!!!

2011-03-17T17:04:00.000-07:00

Today I want to talk about the heroes in Japan that are fighting as I write these lines, against every possible odd in order to contain and avoid the nuclear reactor dangerous situation, to become the next greatest catastrophe...the next Chernobyl.

Following the powerful quake and subsequent tsunami, a nuclear catastrophe warning became evident. Thousands of people in the vecinity of the nuclear plants are evacuated, only a handful of men and woman against their own lives have decided to stay behind and do the ultime sacrifice, effort to save their countryfellow folks from cancer and genetics diseases.
It is not mandatory, they do NOT have to do it, yet they are.

This reminds me of the true love for others modeled by Christ. He stripped from all his rights, his privileged position and did the dirty job, the one no one else could do. He understood, he had the means to achieve the salvation of the humanity.

I studied a little bit japan's cultural behaviour in college. One thing I know they value, is loyalty. For them, family is a sacred thing, the well being of their people is of national importance.

What makes a man decide to do anything that would bring him to death?

I think of today's world and how selfish we have became. Now, selfishness is not something new, it has been there for a good while. But with all sort of insecurities our world faces today, namely, terrorism, poverty, high oil prices, etc, we all tend to be extremely careful when it comes to making provision for oneself and forget about the rest. First me, second me and if possible third me.

How then, should a follower of Christ make the "love one to another as Christ loved us" become more alive and not just a pretty Bible story? How or what can we learn from the japanese culture and these handful of men and women that are working as I write these lines to save thousands and perhaps million of people while been aware of their possible death as a result of the radiation?

There should be a balance in everything, I can almost hear you reply. The Scripture tells us a different panorama. It shows us the broader picture of a people been taught to give up everything for the sake of others. But if I give my whole salary to the homeless guy on the corner of Via Espana avenue, then how will I survive? I think, the Scripture taught a deeper principle in here. It talks about a people who would care one for another one, where hard work, great community bonds and care for the needy would work all together for the good of the nation. What good does it have to give all to someone else, if that someone else is in need because of his own will?

The issue is as easy as it is difficult. We can only lay our lives for others if we have accepted Jesus's forgiveness into our hearts, we can only receive forgiveness into our hearts if we come to Him and repent. As a result, we would be better citizens, better parents,better students, better businessmen, better drivers on the traffic jams and better anything, you name it.

Lot of Thinking and More Thinking

2011-02-08T18:51:00.000-08:00

I have to admit that for me, these past four weeks have been a mental turmoil, very disruptive in different levels and have consumed a lot of energy, shed some tears out of rage and frustration and overall have taken away hours of sleep. I wouldn't be nagging about it had it been a consequence of a broken heart, a job related issue or even a physical sickness. I would have never imagined that I would feel this way as a result of a spiritual related issue in my community of faith and while I will not go into details in here, I can earnestly tell that at times, it has made me feel overwhelmed and overcome, but even though I have been dealing with these emotions, it has been made clear to me that I am not alone, that I am not the first to go thru these, and wont be the last one, until Christ comes yet again and ends with the sin, confusion and death. I have a new challenge, a task a mission to fulfill and above all the promise from God that I am not alone, forsaken and forgotten, that He shall be with me in every step towards the achieving of a goal.

I will end up this entry quoting my dear friend C.S. Lewis: "EL verdadero trabajo de todo maestro moral es seguir llevandonos, una y otra vez, a los antiguos y sencillos principios que estamos tan intranquilos por ignorar, del mismo modo que una y otra vez se lleva a un caballo a la valla que se ha negado a saltar"

God Speed my dear Ruth

2011-01-13T22:38:00.000-08:00

I can remember like if it was yesterday the day Ruth step forward in our small group meeting and shared with everyone her dream about joining a mission trip that would take her out of the country for two years into different countries and continents. It was a wild dream that would involve so many strategic changes and a lot of logistic. Several months after in another small group meeting, she requested prayer, for it was proving to be a hard thing to grasp the dream and make it happen, there were important set backs but she did not give it up then and would not give it up now. She left her job stability, rented away her apartment, sold her car, said good buy to her long time friends in a effort to fulfill what she felt in her heart was a call from God, to follow Jesus's steps of love, mercy and justice, towards the needy.

Today as I look into your eyes and hug you at the airport I can't help it and remember all this, and think that you are an example of perseverance my dear friend and co-disciple.

May you be and do every bit of what you are and can do towards the development of the Kingdom of Christ. The ultimate prize for your effort and endurance shall come from Above.

May God bring you back in time for new adventures.

Love you Ruth

Achieving another Goal in Life

2010-12-22T21:23:00.000-08:00

Many years ago, when I began working with people and dealing with working relationships at different level, I instantly knew this was something I would love and enjoy doing it. Upon coming back to Panama, things did not turn out the way I had intended and I ended up studying a master degree in business and human resources administration. I always thought the working experience I enjoyed abroad, opened my horizons and perspective. It added a lot to my life. Studying at college an MBA not only provided me with the latest tools of administration at all levels, but made me realize that acquiring knowledge in a continuing way of all sort is so important if you want to make a difference. Of course, although knowledge and been smart is good and important, more important is to be wise. Wisdom is the ability to use the knowledge and intelligence in a proper and effective way.

Anyways, I finally ended up after the longest 15 months and I reckon it was stressful, challenging, but kept my brain and neurons active. I have to thank God for allowing me the financial means to achieve so, my good ol' friends Alexis and Ariel for been so understanding in numerous times and all those people I have learned to love in the past 2 years who know share part of my life. So many times did I want to spend my leisure time on the beach, at a restaurant, on the park, just about anywhere to share and celebrate our relationships, but I had to sacrificed many of those for the sake of been responsible with the studies.
2010 is almost gone, and can happily say that I am satisfied with this new achievement and hope to make sense of this in addition to the rest of competencies and abilities I have been gifted with to be part of those who make a difference and bring integral solutions in every level wherever God's will lead me to.

Special thanks to Dad and Mom who supported me in many different ways and encouraged me to finish it up during a very difficult situation back on february.

Mom's Legacy

2010-12-08T15:47:00.000-08:00

Every-single-day must be a good day to say "I love you mom" and really mean it, not just from the lips-out.

While I am sitting here at a very slow and extremely rainy day at work, thinking, hey...I should be home with mom and the gang, sitting on the couch and sipping tea as probably everyone does on a mother's day I have to think about the legacy that her life has left so far in my life.

I have to remember that though been an imperfect woman, she has shown determination, courage and lots of love.

I do remember vivid episodes of changes she had to make in her character in order to be a better mom and wife. I recall this phase in our family life when she would come home after a long day of work and find such a mess the house and three kids throwing the house upside down and she would get real mad. But after the years passed by and she became maturer she would recognize that loosing her temper would just not change the situation and would just do worse than good. I remember this one time when she came to a messed up home after her work shift and I was expecting her to become mad and she did not. She began calmly giving instructions to set up everything again.

As a young boy I noticed that change and it really made an impact in my life. Today I look back and I can see how her love for her terrible children drove her to make changes in her character for the better raising up of us.

I have to recall all the times when she would be the most influential person in her family (still is)(uncles, grandparents) and would be the first person to be there for them and bring them to make a prayer to God for healing, for consolation, during birthdays and funerals. She became the person to turn during bad weathers and continues to be. Somehow, her life was shaped throughout the years to become what she is and be the support so many people badly need in their hospital's beds.

Special mention to the occasion when she fought a breast cancer and won. I was at the time majoring as a physical therapist and never thought I would have to be involved that much into my mom's physical rehab. Though there was this one particular time, she thought she was not going to make it, she never gave up and the strength God invested in her she hung up to it like a hanger to a clothes bar. She became a stronger woman from that particular experience almost 10 years ago.

This woman is my mom. I am a blessed man to have her as my mom. I could have been born somewhere else perhaps, but God allowed me to be part of a Pandales-Garcia family.

Love you mom.

Sobre Valores, Influencia, y Mision de Vida

2010-11-25T16:50:00.000-08:00

Mientras espero sentado en un centro de salud mi turno para ser atendido, entre el alboroto de algun nene que ha sido victima de una malvada aguja, los retortijones estomacales y la constante queja general de la mala calidad de atencion, trato de concentrarme en mi lectura matutina del diario, y entre las notas de caracter nacional e internacional de mayor relevancia, llama mi atencion, un articulo de autor desconocido, que hace referencia a "la claridad y lucidez" de pensamiento y toma de decisiones de una popular y mal llamada celebre canta-autora colombiana.

Cuantos de nosotros no habremos coreado en algun momento sus muy famosas lineas, cuantos jovenes de ayer y de hoy no la consideran un icono y ejemplo digno a seguir?, despues de todo, es atractiva, tiene talento, es famosa y baila bien.

Es por ello que me llama la atencion y no deja de preocuparme que alguien con todo el "exito y fama" de este mundo, quien tiene muy bien definido lo que piensa, sea quien ejerza las pautas del juego, quien con su ejemplo ofrezca direccion a un ejercito de jovenes quienes son y seran nuestro relevo generacional y en cuyas manos esta el bienestar social de nuestras naciones. Despues de todo, ya sean funcionales o disfuncionales, seran los formadores de las familias de manana, y llevaran sus formas de vida a todas las esferas de la sociedad, abogados, medicos, politicos, economistas, cientificos, etc.

Creo que es por ello, que nuestra mision y vision de vida debe ser clara, precisa, concisa y puntual. El tenerlo, nos debe llevar a desarrollar valores cristo-centricos que nos lleven a vivir un estilo de vida digno de admirar y ser considerados como roles en toda esfera de nuestras sociedades.

Valores como la lealtad y castidad y la creencia y vivencia de una familia funcional tal como fue disenada por el Creador, se proyectan como escasos, cada vez mas valiosos y cotizados al alza en una sociedad global enganada por Satanas y empenada en vivir separada de Dios.

El llamado es urgente, el tiempo cada vez menos, somos llamados y escogidos a vivir de manera distinta. Fuimos llamados para anunciar las Virtudes de Aquel que nos saco de las tinieblas a Su luz Amirable.

Mientras termino de esperar lo interminable, quiero dejarles con el link de abajo.

Bendiciones
Josue P.

http://m.prensa.com/impreso/2413453.asp

2010-11-12T06:51:00.000-08:00

This past week two weeks, my mind had been racing with the preparation of a class both written and oral for an exposition in my Labor Economy class. As usual we teamed up to make this one task possible and in the process of researching, collecting and analyzing the data I came across two interesting facts. Our task was to show the tendency of the Panamanian labor force against the the current and mid-term job demand market and its effects over the country's macro economy.

In our teamwork, my job was to analyse the statistics and data found on the internet and make sense of it. One particular fact I found was the unemployment rate and its tendency over the past 20 years since we re-gained our democracy. It showed an almost stable rate of 14% until 2005 when it dropped dramatically to 5.5% . Did not give too much thought to it, until I mentioned it to my uncle who happens to be an economist and whom political point of view is against the imperialism of the developed and rich countries of the world and is more aligned to the cuban revolution and H.Chavez's socialism perspective.

My uncle and I got into a super heated argument about how this 6.5% unemployment rate could or not be true at all. He stated this was a mishandled figure and could not be trusted and went to explain all his point of view which are aligned to the humanistic and socialism way of thinking and I went to dispute the fact that he could not just say this figure is untrue without showing facts and proof that would validate his point of view. My uncle argument ed that even if the rate was that low, all you had to do is open the eyes and look the day to day activities and people and one would just find out that there was no quality life.

Yesterday during our oral presentation, our professor, Dr. Alicia Jimenez just blew my mind in about 15 min. Right before I mentioned the unemployment rate, she interrupted our presentation and explained how this figure was not to be trusted and showed us the formula that was used to come up with that number. In just 10 min. all my uncle had argument ed yesterday, she provided proof, facts and examples that are just irrefutable.

I came home yesterday at night and had to offer and apology to my uncle because he was right and I was wrong...yet again. I explained to him that I am a man of numbers and would not believe something if it is not proven or if it does not offer warranty of been true.

This all led to a whole different conversation, one of those that I will cherish in years to come. He described to me part of his childhood, my dad's and other two uncles' childhood.

He put his mind to work and reminded how not only they were raised to be hard workers but were raised to be smart and self-learners. Turned out that my granddaddy, was a self learner who only got to finish 4th grade, but knew more about philosophy and human history than most of the learned men of his social status. He inherited that to his children who though all different one from another are all wise. Remembers my uncle, granddad would always say, the best inheritance he could provide was to form men and women of good for this society. Now I see where my dad would take that line. Dad would often repeat that while I was growing up as a teenager with a new and much improved focus, namely, Christianity.

On the other hand, my grandma was a hard worker enterpriser and lovely mother and I will add grandma. She carved into my uncles and dad's mind and heart the way of a hard worker who would NOT give up NEVER. My grandma was a very wise woman as well, not only would she raise her four children of hers with ironing, selling goods, cooking fry fish and "tamales"on the flea market and all sort of interesting things apart from her job as a volunteer for the red cross association, but she would plan for the future of her children. She taught all of them how been poor was only temporal and in their mind and hands they had what they needed to overcome it, she taught them how saving every single penny was the best way to invest in the future and she put that into practice. Almost half century ago, when 10K was a ridiculous amount of money for a poor person, she and her family managed to put together that money and buy a piece of land in the middle of nowhere, because she knew that in the future that would be worth much more. How does a woman who barely had any education and let alone any master degree in administration and strategy and all of that would be so clear? It turned out that that piece of land is NOW in the middle of one of the most expensive square feet land in the city and is worthed at least 40 times more than what it cost.

I got to see thru the past yesterday at my uncles's feet, maybe as a consequence of an argument that didn't ended well the previous day, but led to this amazing conversation and me thinking even further about it. What a blessing to see where one come and the reason why one is the way one is. I can find on the Scripture how generational curse goes generation after generation, and how Christ breaks the chain and makes us new beings. I am thankful for my grandparents, immigrants to this land who while not knowing Christ until very late in their lives, had values and taught that to their children, my dad and uncles who did just the same when my siblings and I were growing up. I hope to be up to the task when is my turn to raise a new generation of men and women of good, hard workers, self-learners and most importantly godly men and women who may continue pursuing the ongoing change some of us have embraced for this society and dear country.

2010-11-07T20:17:00.000-08:00

Today at work, like almost every Sunday, for the past several months, I did hang out with my sundays' gal. Slow day at the information center, low volume of calls, longer periods of time between call and call. For most of the part I would just listen to her stories about her friends, last halloween party, her family and all sort of interesting stuffs. I would jump in here and there to ask a few questions and answer some others, but that's all.

Over the years, I have learned to keep quite during a conversation, first when I have nothing of real value to add and second to avoid confrontations at the wrong time that would end up wrong. For the past few months though, I have shared with my work-gal a few things about my life, about my faith and about the way I think on some particular issues.

What makes today's hang out stand above the other Sundays, is that I dared to ask her opinion of what she thought about me as a whole in every aspect, in other words, the way she would perceive me as a person... the good, the bad and the ugly. Very few times I have done this with anyone, for it is means, becoming vulnerable to be told what one does not want to be told and yet I felt it was something I wanted to do. Long story short, she tricked me into doing it first because since she does most of the talking in our conversations and though it was not my intention, I was given no other choice.

Finallly her turn was up and among the several things she said, two hit home. First, she said, I am the kind of person that thinks and plans a lot about things but very undecided about taking the step towards it, and second about my self-esteem she had to say that on a scale from 1 to 10, I was natural at 4 and on my best days I could be a solid 7. She would base her diagnosis on very vague knowledge of the real me, since we only have a superficial relationship and would base it on the fact that I speak almost none and on a story I told her once about my first girlfriend and how it affected me.

It got me thinking, and she was not too far away from the reality. As bad as it is, let alone the fact of been on the spotlight in front of a work college, I have to recognize that, on my FODA list, those would be top on my weakness list among others I am well aware of. I recently learned that knowing your weakness, specially those that are not well visible from within, but are obvious from the outside, is important in order to work on them in order to overcome it. Been accountable to others about those is sometime the only effective tool to check on them and keep working until it is overcame.

The other thing she said, I am not sure wether or not she said it in joke or what, but got me thinking even more. She said, she had a feeling that I did not believe in God as a christian and that she felt I was more of an agnostic. If that was a real and honest thought of her, which I have my doubt of, then it is quite a serious statement that reflects only one thing: I may not been portraying Christ's love and message loud and clear enough to others. Now, I am crystal clear about my love to Christ as a consequence to what He has done and what has promised to me, such a statement like that would not get me into doubting that, no way. However, it is kind of disturbing as a check point, to realize that I may not be doing what I am supposed to. Specially if it is true what I once heard about witnessing to others: For some, one will be the only Bible many will ever read.

2010-10-31T20:25:00.000-07:00

The other day at class, everyone was assigned to read two chapters of a book that would talk about the Panamanian Laboral Economy and then to be ready to answer questions about it, the following week. Nothing really weird about it, if you are studying at college. But...the catch here, was that the reading was in English and the challenge was for many whose English level was little or null.

However, among the different disciplines represented in class, we have a young lady who is a lawyer and did raise her concern out loud in front of the class. Her argument was that although she handles the language, she decided NOT to read the document because she wanted to be solidary with those who could not read, let alone understand the assignment. Furthermore, she reminded us all, that our mother tongue is Spanish and that when she signed up for the MBA she was not notified about the use of a different language other than Spanish. The professor looked at her in disbelief and very politely, graciously but firmly and convinced, stated that in all her years of educating at a master degree level nationally and internationally, she had never heard such a complain. She explained to us all, that in order to be competitive in an ever growing globalized community, only those with a wide variety of competences and up to the task of overcoming challenges with wisdom and an attitude to learn will succeed. She explained that only those people, would be the leaders in any organization that will guide the boat to safe harbor.

This makes me remember a professor I had last period who recently attended a worldwide seminar about H.R. management in Brazil and gave us an assignment to read and write a paper, which was in Portuguese. We were all in shock, but we all took the challenge. Some googled it and found the document and used the Altavista tool to translate it to Spanish and in doing this,not only learned the lessons but learned to learn. I personally found it interesting that after spending a season in Italy and learning the language, it shared similarities to the Portuguese and Spanish which made it less difficult to do that one assignment.

Overcoming Monotony and Clearing up Some Stuffs

2010-10-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

Albert Einstein's quote about monotony is definitely not applicative to me. It reads "The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind. " Personally, I find this completely untrue. Doing the same set of things over and over again, week after week and month after month and now recently year after year, becomes like a poison that kills my already undeveloped creative mind.

For this reason, I am thankful for having shared such a great weekend in the company of some old friends and a new bunch lovely people, young people with a bunch of imperfections, but young people with a common goal, namely, learn to serving God and leading others to Him.

We spent three days and three nights away from the job, studies, family, responsibilities and others important things semi-locked in a hotel in the always colorful and peaceful town of El Valle de Anton out in the countryside. It was a time to be quite and learn from someone who has been where most of us are and with a willing heart to teach and mentor us. It was a time of refreshing the same basic principles of character, attitude and a heart that pleases God, like the one modeled by King David a few thousands of years ago. Those same principles that for different reasons we keep forgetting and neglecting and yet we keep on preaching to those following our lead.

One particular experience stands above the other great lessons and experiences I now keep in my heart and memories. Part of the training we went thru, included serving the people in the community, by means of hosting children parties, working with the disabled kids, hanging out with the elders at the local nursing home, giving away cloth and food to the kids in the far away little towns deep into the mountains and even giving speeches to a group of junior, sophomore and senior school students about self-esteem and motivational speech.

I had to prepare a speech with all needed material, prior to travelling, and was told I would have to talk to a group of teenagers, children of the local town people, who barely finish school and who most never go to college to achieve a higher education. I took the challenge, prepared the needed material, I used every single trick and tool learned recently on my ongoing studies of human resources administration and though I was so nervous at the beginning, the flow of the one hour speech went smooth and I felt I had the undivided attention of the whole seventy-something students listening to this perfect stranger talking to them in the room. I have this great satisfaction in my heart that a seed was seeded and someone else will water it and eventually someone else will harvest it. I knew it, almost instantly, that this is something I want to do either for a living or as a volunteer, whichever the case may be, but I feel this is something I can be good at, and can make a difference in our society by teaching christian values to young people who will be our society's future for good or for bad.

Today, back into my real life and all it includes, I went to class and got to speak with my mentor, professor Hania E., expert psychologist who has spent over two decades teaching and working with people in big and small companies, and involved in changing organizations mindset in order to convert them into successful and profitable companies and businesses and who runs her own Human Resources Consultant Office. I felt so satisfied and joyful in telling her, how meaningful her advises were and how all those hours of sleep and party times sacrificed were so much worth-ed. I remember vividly, for it is still fresh, how I many times got to think how hard her classes were and how demanding but at the same time loving and comprehensive she was and still is, for I am taking yet another course with her this my last period at college. She was a happy mother and mentor hearing to her former and current student behave like a child while telling her the details of the whole experience.

God is clearly, little by little clearing up my panorama and putting all the pieces of the puzzle together into a big picture. My cosmovision is getting clear even more and more and I have come to a few conclusions that are leading me to taking yet some other decisions for the rest of the days I may have left on earth.

Leap of Faith

2010-03-27T14:05:00.000-07:00

After a long period of not knowing what would be the outcome of my current job post, I was advised that would be transferred to a proyect where I would have to work afternoon shift from monday till saturday the first 4 weeks and then the off day could be any day of the week per availability.
I should not forget that God has been good and have used different people within the company to keep my position secured and the pay checks flowing amid all these job instability.
However, the new schedule goes against every other activity I take part in, such as classes in college, church services and activities. I started to weight the cons and pros of it. After thinking a bit, I decided that I could put aside the studies for a while, after all, without a job how would I pay the monthly fees, but then, when it comes to not been able to attend church and the discipleship meetings and quality time with my friends, for who knows how long, it struck to me, that it was to high the price to pay. So I have been praying and listening to God and I had to take a choice, not an easy one.
So often I had pray to be able to serve God with my time and abilities and it is what I cherish the most and to throw that away because of a job, well , I had to take one side. I decided to honor God and trust in Him that he would provide a better job, more stable, better paid and one in which I would not have work on sundays and possibly on saturdays either so that I can continue to be part of the things He is doing these days through His church. I chose to believe in God the Provider, who is willing to grant and fullfill his children needs like a job for example.
On friday I spoke with the HR Mgr. and explained to him the circumstances, he understood and wished he had another schedule available. He was pleased to see that I was advising him upfront so that he could allocate my position to someone else who could take it. I am convinced I took the right decision. The hard part I feel though, is to explain this to some people who would be disappointed. My family understood and is fully supporting my decision in prayers and economically.
Right after taking the decision, I got two job offers and as a write this, another one came in. I am in awe and tears come to my eyes when I think how good God is. Knowing God thru mere knowledge is very important, but nothing compares to experiment God's power in ones' own life. This God that provides and makes miracles and honors those who honor Him I have met several times in my life and family's, but everytime around is such a wonderful experience. The deep night just before the light of the morning comes up, the fresh air of life taken in, after a long period underwater, boy, this can only be experience thru overcoming hardships and suffering in God's hand. A few days back I read that God is really dishonored when we do not believe He can make it happen, even more than when an atheist claims there is no God. I know He will provide, I feel it, I have rest my faith on the One.

A Woman to Admire - Mom

2010-02-26T09:27:00.000-08:00

Through the ages, many have attempted to describe with eloquent words and poetry the balance of determination, grace and fragility all wrapped up in what we call "Mom".
I remember as a child been told several times the story of a woman who grew up in a very humble home, youngest one to four children who set her mind to reach the stars. One particular story always left an impression on me, and it was the fact that her dreams were to become a physician, a doctor, but boy, was it expensive and at the time, out of her family's financial possibility. However her passion to help people was stronger than her limitation, so she opted for an close career and graduated as a Lab Technician and Biology Teacher. However her youth dream was alive and it passed onto Ana my sister who embraced it since even before high school, and she made well sure to nourish it.
It was not an easy task, my sister, a smart girl who graduated with honors in school, soon came to discover first-hand the tough reality of med-school and countless were the times when she would give up just out of the pressure, stress and hardships. But there was mom, who would see to it that her daughter would find every possible mean to succeed. Mom would pray against the odds of the unknown, against the spirits of failure that would pass by from time to time and many were the miracles provided as answers to the woman's prayer. We saw during these last five years, God moving His hand in favor for Ana, against adverse forecasts, we saw God honor my mom's prayer.
Today, I can not describe how ecstatic and joyful I myself feel and not to mention Mom, after watching her daughter, take her diploma all dressed up in front of a couple of thousands of people. She did it, she was the one who studied and learned a profession, but it wouldn't be possible without God's intervention as a direct consequence of my mother's intense and non-stopping prayer life and support. Everyone in our family had to sacrify something for her to be able to study an expensive career, but Mom was the one who sacrified the most during these past five years and she did it with so much love, the kind of love only a mother can spare to their children, the kind of love which the Bible describe as un-interested and we all are bound to learn that, not only toward those who we love but those who are not so close to us as well.
Thanks Mom, your example is so powerful and have left an impression on me for the rest of my life. You have taught me, not to give up just because it is not easy or there seems no way around it. There is always a way and your faith in God have prove it again and again.

When life seems to be worthless!

2009-08-21T21:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday during the afternoon hours I learnt a very disturbing news, an acquaintance of mine from work place decided to end with his life by throwing himself out from the balcony of this flat of the building were he use to live. He left two small kids without the opportunity to grow next to a fatherly influence. His wife perhaps broken-hearted and numerous people at work who appreciated him or not with a bitter and ugly feeling deep into their hearts. Although I barely knew him and exchange words for he was a very quite person, I must admit that I have been deeply affected and have not been able to think of something else for the past 24 hours.
And after thinking and sharing with several co-workers and thinking some more, I've come to several conclusion.

1.Lack of friends: for not in vain the Scripture says in Ecclesiastes 4.10: "If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." I remember someone making a comment several months back about this guy who was known to said he was not interested in making friends with no one while at work, and so he did convey that attitude on a daily basis. I thank God so much for people like Alexis, Ariel, Howard and so many others who are constantly aware of my whereabouts and will cheer me up and advise and rebuke and eventually help me to get on my feet. I must admit I even got angry during the day, wondering if anyone actually called him up or talked to him during these last days of emotional difficulties which could have avoided such a infamous episode. I thank God for all those godly friends of mine who do appreciate me and even get on my way even when I don't feel like allowing them inside and they still do. Conclusion>we are relational beings, alone we are in real trouble like the wise Salmon wrote several thousand of years back.
2.Lack of God: while sharing with two other co-workers today, one of them said "dude, you gotta be real sad or emotionally impaired in order to take this decision", another friend of mine mentioned earlier on the day"you gotta have guts to do so or perhaps drugged" and God brought to my heart Matthew 26:38>"Then He <Jesus> said to them, My soul is very sad and deeply grieved, (to the point he was actually sweating blood) so that I am almost dying of sorrow...and going a little farther, He threw Himself upon the ground on His face and prayed to God", asking for deliverance but overall for the Father's perfect will to be done. Jesus's answer to grievance and sadness sets the example for us mortals to follow. But we must know who God is and his unlimited power and knowledge, so our mind won't betray us during the darkest hours, so our mind and heart is secured in His promises of everlasting life, the same promises and blessings Jesus was granted after his darkest hour when He came up triumphant over the sin and death itself, that could not withhold him and keep him separated from God forever. My acquainted perhaps knew God but only as someone who is found at church on Sundays or Christmas or Easter seasons and not as the One, who loved him so much that already did the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate prove of love for all of us and once in for all.

Today many of us cry and are saddened, and may this help the rest of us who outlived him to realize how fragile we are and how needy of God's real love we are. May this serves to bring real repentance and commitment to get to know Him and his Word. May this serves to me and those who profess to know God with our heart to continue spreading His hope and His love no matter what, no matter if it cost us our job, our reputation, our status quo, even our life. This guy decided against his own earthly and eternal life, may this bring real urgency in my heart to share with everyone on time and out of time about Jesus.

>>>>>>>>>In memory of F.C. May his family and closest friends find hope and consolation in Christ Jesus during this terrible hour.

Today's Lesson

2009-03-23T17:23:00.000-07:00

Earlier on today, while assisting a friend of mine, pastor of the church in Rio Hato, whose car got broken in the middle of the street, I remembered what the Scripture says about how all things work out for the good to those who love Him. Anyone would have rightly consider lack of luck, been through a distress situation in the middle of a dangerous neibourhood in the night, with most of his family living 10 hours away. J.C. called a friend of his and me to assist him, and while I am trying to get a cheap tug car service, what I saw really moved me. Pastor J.C. witnessing a homeless in a corner despite the fact that he himself was in the middle of a difficult situation, and his friend also witnessing a half-drunk man not too far from him, and in between the wrecked car right in the center of the street. The enemy perhaps intended bad for J.C. but what he didn't know was the his trick was not enough to stop two men of God from sharing their faith to others with joy and peace of heart.
Suddenly, while I was still trying to get a cheap crane to come over, a very friendly cuban lady stopped by and without asking if we needed help, she stepped out of her vehicle and start giving instructions on how to proceed. She recommened us to push the car an abandoned gas station 25 meters away, pay a few dollars to the security guard to keep safe the car till tomorrow morning, and have the mechanic fitter come over first thing in the morning and end of story. So we did, she even offered her car to pull J.C. wrecked car to the abandoned gas station. This, was not other thing but the hand of God, providing right then right there for our need.
Lessons? Even the aparent bad things are opportunities to turn them into good and glorify God; if ungodly people have the courage to step down from their cars to assist perfect strangers in the street, why would you and me who profess the love of God would not do the same and even more?
Something to think about.

To Give or not to Give a big deal

2009-01-27T19:46:00.001-08:00

Earlier on today, several people included a senior pastor, a youth pastor a ship captain, a businessman and myself had a meeting in one of the shopping mall of the city. As we were seated near a coffeeshop, talking and figuring out the details of this massive christian campaign in Rio Hato that we intend to have in two weeks from know, a timid young guy suddently interrupted our conversation and approached our table. Almost like whispering he began mumbling asking for something I barely understood at his first attempt. Quickly and without being obvious I studied the facial expression of my friends and noticed that they were annoyed by the sudden interruption. Once we all learnt what this young guy was up to, our attitude changed from being annoyed to confusion more like not knowing how to react or what to do. The young man timidly explained that he was robbed while riding a bus in the city and his wallet was taken away, leaving him without documents and pocket money to pay for his bus ticket to the country side where he lives. He explained that he was trying to collect the ten bucks needed to pay for his bus ticket.
Often, when we are alone and someone comes to beg for money we are quick to judge them by their physical appearance or clothing and sometimes we politely and some other times, contemptuously we refuse them away. We readily find hundreds if not thousands of excuses and reasons to calm down our conscious when we refuse with giving money to the needy. I learnt from Dad and a neighbor to give since early in life, but there is always the doubt of how often, when not to, and so and so. Just last sunday during Bible school at church, there was this huge discussion among the peers how wise was to give to the needy people. Some had the position that the streets were to dangerous to be lowering the car's window to give money, some others defended that most of the homeless people begging for money on the streets were drug addicts, or alcoholics some others stated that there were the lazy people who would send children to the streets to beg for money for them and the list is endless. The other side, including the teacher, explained that the Bible commanded us to give with a cheerful heart without judging, for only God can see the intentions of a man's heart. A girl in particular, stated that right before stepping out of her house, she would trust her life in God's hand and that she would not be walking in the city with a fearful heart, but rather with a joyful spirit which proved to come in handy even while helping people she would not know.
One of my friends reached for his wallet and handed him out a dollar bill and soon after myself and one of the pastors followed his action. He said thanks to us and right before leaving, the other pastor also gave him one dollar but not without warning him that he better be telling the truth, for we were all people of God and that tricking people of God would only bring ruin to his life. At this point, I thought it was going to end this sudden interruption so that we could continue with our business, when the same pastor rapidly changed his approach to the young guy and asked him if He had Jesus in his heart to which the young man timidly answered that he was a catholic already. In just a matter of seconds, the pastor shot a burst of biblical truth and witnessed him. He just seized the momentun and the Holy Spirit came upon that table with all of us sitting in there. The youth pastor asked him if he wanted to accept Jesus in his heart right there right then, and he accepted. What a moment, what a moment. He repeated the prayer of faith and then we prayed for him. I can not describe the feeling and the solemn atmosphere in that place on that table near the coffeeshop. It was the Holy Spirit himself that had just manifested through the youth pastor. What an example he set right there in front of the rest of us, the way he understands that every opportunity no matter where no matter when is the right opportunity to do what we as christians, followers of Christ are meant to.
Now I come to think about it, the reason of our meeting was to discuss and plan the details for the upcoming evangelistic activity and we were so busy doing so that we almost lost the perspective and the opportunity to witness right there and right then to someone that God sent purposedly to our table to test the intention of our hearts.
What a lesson ! ! !
Giving a message of hope to someone who is requesting bread to calm his hunger, without meeting his need is not enough, for God not only fed the multitude spiritually, but took the pain of feeding a whole bunch of people. Giving a piece of bread to a hungry man just to make our conscious feel in peace, without witnessing him and clearly conveying Jesus's love for him is not enough, for God always took care of the spiritual need before the physical need, for a healthy and wealthy man without God is just as sick and needy as a homeless.

Happy Mother's Day Mom

2008-12-08T02:46:00.000-08:00

This is only the second time in almost 6 years that I get to spend "mother's day" in my country. The day before yesterday, we had a small preview of this important celebration in Panama and some countries in the central americas. The discipleship group my dad leads, prepared a surprised celebration for the mothers of the group and of course my mom was among them. My sister prepared a wonderful meal and me and my brother and her girl attended the meeting. It was lot of fun, after the teaching there were a couple of activities that we all enjoyed, but the one that really kicked off was my dad poetical performance. It was so much fun, and neither my siblings nor myself knew Dad could be that hilarious. I got it all in video so one day his grandkids will laugh as well.
Yesterday in the afternoon, while talking to my sister we decided that we wanted to sing a "serenata" today early in the morning "a common practice in latinamerica countries" and so my brother and my sister started practicing the words while I acompannied them with the guitar. We woke up at 2.30 Am and approached our parent's room very quitely with lit candles and roses and start singing a mexican ranchera out loud and then a second sweet mother's song. Mom was really surprised, I could tell by the look on her face on the dark room lit only by the dancing light of the candles, and she was very happy and touched, I could tell by the quievering tone on her voice. It was a great thing I reckon and am happy to have formed part of it along with my siblings.

Dinner Bon Voyage Celebration

2008-12-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I could not have asked any more for a good-bye dinner, which was organized by my co-workers during my last days in the company. They really went out of their way to acknowledge my retirement and I feel very honored to have been part of the team. I knew they were up to something, because some of my friends just can not keep a surprise, lol. So I decided it was a good idea to surprise them rather than play the act of the surprised guy, so I walked in 10 min. before the set up of was ready. They were all "ohhhh"
Anyway, dinner was great, my favorite food was prepared, indian cuisine. I had a full plate of tasty and rich basmati rice with spicy but great shrimp and chicken curry. Dessert was just delicious, for I love tiramisu any day of the week, but this time it came with an orange sauce that just gave it a different touch. I even got a nice present from my collegues, this nice but very complicated watch which I still need to learn how to set it up.
After all this we had a movie night where we watched The Dark Knight, latest movie of Batman.
I guess this series of events will always remain in my mind, because after all, it has been five years of my life where hard and great moments I have experimented, and it all sums up in a great learning and shaping life-experience. And I want to conclude this lines with a phrase I heard from a friend of mine from Jamaica, who said "Wherever God leads you, He provides", so I am looking forward to the changes up ahead and hope to keep walking in God's way.

Final Chapter of a Carnival Experience

2008-12-01T11:29:00.000-08:00

These past few days on board Carnival Ecstasy has been both sweet and bitter. Many friends, people who I've met over the years who know I will be leaving soon,makes it difficult for me to accept that it's time to say goodbye to this lifestyle, and at the same time it is bitter to know that I won't be seeing much of several of them in the near future.

Today I went through a wonderful moment when during the Employee Pin Award Ceremony I received my acknowledgment letter and a five-year gold pin from the Captain and Hotel Director's hand in front of a great crowd of fellow co-workers who like me were also being acknowledged for their five, ten, fifteen and twenty consecutive years of service to the company. Like the HD mentioned during his speech, "it is us with our commitment and loyalty to the company that makes this the biggest and most popular cruise line in the world" And I feel proud to be part of it. Now my time is over, or at least it is the idea and it is time to make space for the newcomers. Two weeks ago, the company decided to move the management trainee college program to Ecstasy, and so there are about 10 trainees who will be taking over in the months to come different ships. It's good to be able to teach to some of them some of the knowledge I've acquired over the years.
It is so sweet to know that I have succeeded and achieved much more than I thought I would during my stay in Carnival and it is sweeter to know that I will be going back to my country with full energy and lots of ideas and plans. Start from scratch, experiment life on land. My prayer is that wherever this decision takes me, I'd be able to listen God's voice and follow his lead. I am completely convinced that I've served my time in here, that I was meant to spend this time in Carnival, and that now is time to move forward. I know it wont' be easy, perhaps I can not realize the magnitude of it all, but I am willing to try it out.
I still believe I am not done with traveling, for it is perhaps something that I love so much, so I do hope and pray that there will be more of it in the future.
To all my friends around the world I thank you for the lessons learnt and the time spent.

In Retrospective

2008-10-24T21:14:00.000-07:00

I am looking at a bunch of people in the crew dining room, some of them I know from different ships in the past, some others yet to be met, my eyes gets fixed on something, maybe it was the evening news and the financial crisis the world is immersed in, but I am lost in my own thoughts, suddenly I remember events like the first war in Irak, or the American invasion to Panama, back in the 90’s almost twenty years ago and then it all hits me hardly, “dude, so many years, almost two decades have come and gone” My teenager years are long gone, part of my past, good memories and the bad ones, all part of a sometimes blurry past. And then, another thought strikes, “I don’t want to get even older and then have to say like many others I have heard, what did I do with my time, resources, skills, talents” It is bothering me the fact that I need to be honest with myself and admit whether or not I have already wasted or used wisely all these years. It’s not too late though, if I need to end up concluding that I have not used wisely all these years, there is still hope to rectify the rest of my time on earth. It is well known, that the time lost is lost, can not be recovered, it is also true that it is in my hand to change what’s left of my life in this linear series of events called “timelife”

Past 12 hours

2008-10-12T22:41:00.000-07:00

I woke up early in the morning, even though I forgot to set the clock alarm, my mind was set on the last minute arranges so that I could be ready to go to the airport. My parents were getting ready and soon after we were on the car, my dad remembers that this would be the last time at least for a while that we would all be together and decides that we could not go anywhere without first having our last prayer as a family, so my sis and brother half asleep came over and jumped on the car for a short minutes. As dad races to the airport, my mind is racing on its own. This is not the first time, in fact, I have lost the count of how many times we have gone through this, it is almost a ritual. Two months staying at home comes and goes faster than a blink of an chinese eye, and soon we are facing my departure to the far lands of the North and even Europe. Finally I make it to the airport, with plenty time to check in my luggages and have a small conversation with dad and mom. I soon go through custom and inmigration and off to the embarking gate. As the plane takes off, I suddently realize this seems to be the last time I get a goodbye from my parents to Carnival, this is big, I still can't realize the magnitud of it all. After all, I still think I should not be on this plane at all, for if everything goes as we've planned, I should be flying back to Panama in less than two months, for good!!! It sounds so good and terrifying at the same time, I never thought this date would be so close. Many good friends of mine from the ships have already taken the step of leaving the ships and stabilizing their lives. It's not easy, there are lots of questions and doubts, change of lifestyles, but for all I know, it is a must to do.
Right now, I am in Houston, at my friend's Dana place. She is an angel of God, she loves Him and seeks Him with a sincere heart. I could very well be spending the night in a local hotel till tomorrow when I am supposed to join my ship, but she offered me a bed in her house. She even cooked a french dish for dinner and we had an awesome evening chatting about everything and nothing. I am blessed to have such sort of friends. Tomorrow right before taking me to my seems-to-be-my-last-ship, she will take me to Krepes and Cremes, a famoust doughnuts restaurant which I fell in love so many years ago.
So the last chapter in Carnival begins, soon to be over, sooner than expected and I feel excited about it.

My car was Hit

2008-10-09T23:05:00.000-07:00

I feel blessed to know that after all, I will be payed for the damaged produced to my car yesterday by another car. For a moment I thought, the person was going to run away and leave me abandoned. Today, I even had to go to her workplace and wait for her, and after a couple of hours of waiting, she never showed up. I was boiling, because I thought how irresponsible and insensitive from her side, not to call me and advice me that she would not be able to attend our meeting, or even worse, she would just fade away forever leaving me the burden of the fixing of my car. After all, she called and she apologized for not been able to meet with me and that she would pay for the damages.
It is ironic, because just yesterday before the incident, I was boasting in my mind that after all these years of driving, I had never hit another car, nor I had been ever hit by a car, feeling myself proud of my "excelent driving abilities", but that bubble was soon blown up few hours later by this incident. My sister says, it doesnt matter how careful you drive and the measurement you take to avoid situations of car accidents, there will always be a good chance to be involved in one. I guess I always agreed to that, but never saw it so real until yesterday. (My sister's car was hit when her car was parked in her universtity parking lot) I learned a couple of good lessons about how to react to this, for after all I sinned of naive behaviour by not waiting for the police to evaluate and make her responsible, just because she begged me that she had not time for that and she would pay for all the damages, and it almost costed me money. See? everyday there is something to be learned, sometimes we learn the easy way, sometimes we learn the hard way, which is normally the painfully and costfull one.

Champion, Victim of Racism

2008-10-03T23:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in the afternoon while listening to the TV evening news, I heard almost in disbelieve what apparently happened to be a discriminatory abuse towards a person. The issue is not new, in fact has been around for decades, even centuries. However the reason for my indignation was the mere fact that the person who suffered this abuse was our most appreciated and only Olympic Games gold medalist and champion of long jump Irving Saladino. Our champion who recently rented or bought (don't know exactly) a luxurious apartment in the city was degraded by the building administrator who apparently asked the door man in front of him "who the heck was the nigger gangster". Could it be true that this person had no idea who he was talking about? Saladino is an international icon right now, he came up in all the news in Panama and ESPN and all over, how could it be possible that a "highly educated from the high society" has no idea who the "nigger gangster" is....!!! It is unbelieveable. Perhaps he has no TV, not likely to be the case. Whichever the case is, it is way too bad that somebody who puts the whole country of Panama in the front pages of the most important Newspapers and TV documentals has to go through this kind of already unfair treat.

Real Issue behind Human Trafficking.

2008-09-25T04:43:00.000-07:00

Isn't it interesting and sad at the same time the fact that the second more profitable illegal business in the world after drug smuggling is human trafficking, aka modern day slavery?
I recently went to the movies and observed on the big screen, in the comodity of a very confortable seat and conditioned air, not for the first time the "modus operandi" of such an abominable practice. In it there was a lot of flying bullets, blood spilling and physical action throughout the film and of course at the end of the movie, the classical hollywood happy ending where the father was able to track her daughter down, kill the whole mafia gang without sweating Rambo-style and finally rescue her precious daugher who by the way happens to be a spoiled child who only puts herself into this situation by not being honest with her father about her intentions during her trip to Europe.
It is so sad to know that every year hundreds if not thousands of girls and boys mostly minors, are being kidnapped and trapped into this dark and pervert world of drug abuse, prostitution and death by an ever increasing bunch of criminals who despite of having children of their own, decide to make an illegal business out of destroying human lives against their will.
Now the question is, "Is it currently, being done enough to avoid and counter-react to this evil scheme worldwide or we are just making a blind eye, hoping by crossing our fingers and knocking on a piece of wood, that it won't ever happen to someone close who we love and care about.
Someone would avidly say that, it is responsability of our goverment and police department to make our society safer and free of brain-sick people like those who commit this crimes, but the truth is, the way I see it, much more need to be done, much more than what the goverment and the police department can ever do or be expected to do. It all starts in the family and the values the we transmit to our children, it all starts with a proper education where kids are constantly made aware of the danger of this planet we call home. Truth is, the kids of the movie I went to see (Taken), weren't well raised by their parents, one of them was only concerned about having fun, partying, concerts, beautiful cloth and houses and travelling and all sort of things that are perishable and it costed her high. My whole point here is, if the parents who are the first guardians of the kids do not "make time" out of their busy schedules to raise their children and teach them proper and high values, rather than leaving this to the school system and internet and the T.V. which we all know has nothing good nor positive to teach, then, don't we all come at the end to complain why our society is so unsafe, why we have kidnapped and kidnappers, or abused and abusers or assassinated and assassins or drug addicts and drug lords, don't we all come at the end of the day trying to put the whole blame on the goverment or our obsolete school system when the first and most important teacher of the kid, namely their parents, won't think it is imperative to personally educate their kids and spend time with them and show them love and lead by example. Then this same kids, once grown up, will continue the zaga of raisinig more un-attended kids and the cycle will be even worse. Only God will be able to pull us out of this vicious and perverse cycle and for sure it will be way to late for many.

A glance from Veracruz town, Panama.

2008-09-23T00:17:00.000-07:00

Panama city is expanding rapidly outwardly its traditional centers, looking for fresher and more exotic views to be available. Everything now is about capting foreign investor mostly for the real state business and more and more luxury buildings are being built everywhere around. Still you can find spots like this one right in the heart of Panama city which can provide a bit of the rushing way of life and the yet untouched-by-men nature represented by a large green forest and exotic fauna around the pacific entrance to the Panama Canal.
While I was driving, very early in the morning ,on my way to the medical center deep in the city of Veracruz, I realized how beautiful places are yet to be discovered by the lover of nature and travelling. Unfortunately for the adventurer, this place is still not so safe to go around alone and even with companions. Hopefully with all these changes in the economy, some serious security changes will be applied so that all can enjoy views and places like Veracruz. Our people have high hopes that the goverment will start getting smart people to run programs that will benefit the comunity overall.

Watching the Sunrise

2008-09-20T00:31:00.001-07:00

It was such an amazing morning where I had the opportunity to watch the sun rise very slowly from the distant horizon above the sea. Giving light and diferent tones of colors to everything around every second.

Mission Accomplished

2008-07-03T06:35:00.000-07:00

So as planned, I spent a bit over two months in Splendor on the shipyard and it turned out to be one of the most incredible travelling experiences I ever had. I had the opportunity to taste what is to live on land while having a job. Workwise, it was a great school for me, I learned different stuffs about setting up the food and beverage areas and met a lot of important persons. I even got lot closer to God during this time, partly I believe because I did realize how much I'd need of Him to go through this particular time. I tried to live to its maximun every minute I spent, cuz like C.S. Lewis says, our present is that tiny fraction of time that disappear right before we can imagine and then becomes part of our past and remains in our memory until it fades away with the years.

I am now deciding what I want to do with my near future, 6 months ago I was pretty much convinced that this would be my last one. I still believe I need to find new horizons, but since I want to buy a home, if I don't get something else I would still need to stay here. I feel I am in a situation where a radical decision must be taken and so I keep on praying for God's guidance.

I am now back in M/S Freedom, I traveled from Genova to Venice via Rome, the airline lost my luggages and I almost missed the ship because I was waiting on a long line to file a lost claim, but thanks God I made it safely to the ship. My luggages are still lost but I have confidence that they will be found. In the meantime, I will spend a couple of days re-adjusting to this ship once again and will try to enjoy the european ports before going back to Panama next month.

Witnessing

2008-05-31T10:03:00.000-07:00

These last two weeks have been hectic around the shipyard and part of it because we have to run after the contractors who are in charge of modifying our catering areas in the hotel. Two of those guys I have been working with I met few days back and ever since I have been walking up and down the boat until today in the morning when I got a chance to witness them. Angelo doesnt speak english at all and Claudio speaks and understand some english. Right before lunch break I gave to them christian tracts in italian and one of them start complaining about it, but I wouldnt accept a no as an answer from him, lol. So God who knows how to do things and create the spaces for peoples salvation, allowed us more than an hour where I sat down with them and in between english, spanish and spanitalian I went thru all God put in my heart to tell them. The language barrier could not stop the interest these two guys had to know more about my faith and believe, time constrain could not stop what these guys had to listen today. I feel greatly blessed today because I had been asking God to use me and He did. After that hour of discussion and dialogue, I am firmly convinced that they understand better what a relationship with Jesus is all about , and I pray that the day will come when someone else grows the seed within them and sooner the better someone else harverst in them the fruit. I cant help but to wonder that the same way, I was moved from my previous ship assignment to this newbuild ship (a privilege I would say) because somebody considered I am able to carry this enterprise, same way perhaps God decided that the reason for me to be here was to witness these two italians, irregardless of all the obstacles in the way. I praise God for the blessing of being used and my prayer is that I be approved by Him the same way I strive to get my earthly superiors approval.

Chilling Out

2008-05-19T05:30:00.000-07:00

Never thought I would see the day of being at work and being tired, but not as a product of long hours of mental stress and to some extent physical work, but out of doing nothing but hanging out a few hours in the Ship Yard and then leaving to do my own things. I know it is just a matter of time before it all comes back as it always is, but I just can’t get used to the idea of being “working” but being tired and lazy....and I am loving it.
It’s good though, I can’t complain, this has given me and some of my friends time to go around in a relaxed mood and get familiar with the city, the people the culture and the overall “land life”.In regards with the food, well I was well advised that I would get sick of having pasta during the lunch and during the dinner, like every single day of God without a break. But in order to be fair to the italian cusine, I have to admit that it is quite good if you know where to find it, but I shall say that the greatest of the problems of having it daily is not getting bored of having pasta every day, but the fact that after a week of degustating it, you get a stubborn fluffy belly which ultimately is a challenge to get rid of. So I succeed on stopping eating pasta for almost 7 days until today, when I was given no other option and given the circumstances I had to yield.
Last Saturday, I went along with two other co-workers which happen to be brothers in Christ, to a night session of prayers at a christian family’s house here in Genova, and we met some missionaries from Milan that has been ministering week after week in this city for the past four years. These brothers and sisters in Christ decided to have this meeting and we were invited. So after we finished we were invited to visit their church and Ministry in Milan and so we did yesterday. We took the late afternoon train and travelled 200 kilometers up to the North of Italy almost to the borders. Juan, Jose and myself were recieved in the famous city of Milan by our brother Jorge from the country El Salvador and he took great care of us. His family’s hospitality just blew us all, we spent the night in his house with his family and had a wonderful conversation about the things God is doing in Italy through this Latin Ministry. At the present, they are a growing church full of the Spirit of the living God, mostly composed by latin inmigrants (Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala, Peru, Ecuador, Chile) who upon reaching here faced hardships but found refuge in this christian fellowship and to God’s name glory this church has risen up powerfully and they now have ministries in Genova, Rome, and two more cities across the country with lots of new projects. I enjoyed so much being among these holy people, receiving Word and praising the Lord in a fellowship. What I observed here just made me meditate about our call to make disciples and spread the message everywere we go, and being among them re-affirmed this in me. My co-workers and I came back today, full of joy, spiritual energy, pictures and great memories, looking forward to next weekend and thankful to God that no matter how far away from our own churches, God has always provided this our God-given need of christian fellowship by putting in our ways other churches along the countries and cities we get to visit.

Travelling Around

2008-05-04T04:55:00.000-07:00

After a long series of events that proved to be hard to overcome and leave in the past, finally I got a break. One of my favorite things in life is to travel and see new places, meet new people, experiment different cultures and everything else that comes with it. Last week was a bit of a hectic one where I had to get ready on a short term notice where I was informed about a vessel transfer. Despite the regular job that had to be done and the challenges of the new changes in the operation, my mind was already set on the ever exciting trip to the city of Genova. Like usual I waited till the last few days prior to departing to say good by to my new friends and long time friends as well since I never liked the sad moments of departures.

It was a long flight to the city of Paris where I struggled big time with the language and I am thankful that I did not miss the conection flight to Genova nor did my luggages got lost, until finally I arrived safely to Novotel Hotel near downtown Genova. I am still in shock to see how less my dollars are compared to the euro currency and afraid to run out of money if I spend on basic stuffs like transportation, laundry and food. Nevertheless my company supplies for almost all of it, I still can’t help but to seriously wonder as to how, low income families manage to survive through the months. I just came from a supermarket and saw how expensive food can be even in a cheap market like Coop. A kilo of the cheapest beef, 7 euros(11.55 US dollars)? Cheese is really expensive and so is bread. Perhaps the cheapest article they sell in abundance would be wine? And that’s only because Italy is a mass producer of it, just like gas prices in Iran and Venezuela are cheap just because they own it.

Another interesting fact I’ve observed is the amount of inmigrant living in this city and probably in the rest of the country, specially from Bangladesh, and to my surprise from Ecuador. Like it would be expected they own very small business all around the corners in the poorest and dangerous streets of downtown, living in tiny rooms packed to its maximun and on very deplorable situations where criminality, drugs and sex abuse is no the exepction of the important cities’s problems like Genova.

Transportation is somehow expensive and so is clothing and communication, gas prices are on the moon and it almost inmediately made me appreciate the fact that I have a job and my country is not that expensive yet. It makes me think about the US economy, my countrie’s economy and in general the world’s economy. It seems like things are rushing down hill at a amazing speed and nothing can stop it. Maybe my perception of the world is wrong, only God can tell, but these days we are living in are bad. I can’t see other way out but God’s intervention in all of it.

Not everything makes me sad or angry though, (like the fact that the food and dining service at my hotel sucks, lol) on the good side, yesterday I went with three co-workers to a couple of turistic cities outside of Genova, 2 hours away on train. It was such a great trip and we enjoyed every minute of it. Even the train trip was fabulous, great sightseeing of the coast on one side and the middle size mountains on the other. The coast on this side of the country is rocky and the cities are built on the steep sides of the mountains, and there are five old historic cities all interconnected by walking distance on foot trails and passage ways sometimes on the very edge of the mountains. We had a gorgeous day, sunny and cool temperature, so although we had to walk a lot we were not fatigued by the tipical heat we find in the caribbean. We even hiked all the way to the top of one of the hundreds of medium size mountains, and we were in contact with the thousands of acres of vineyards and tiny buildings built on the steep ladle of the mountain. Such a great experience, one for the memory.

There is lot of work, perhaps much more than I can imagine, that has to be done over the period of a month and I only pray to God that He gives me the strenght and determination to go through it till the end, not only to hang in there but to be able to do my very best. At the end of this two months I will probably be going back to the previous ship were I was last week which is sailing in the Mediterrean.

I feel this is all a new experience in my life. What I mean is living on land, waking up every day, to take a public transportation to go to work, having my meals in a totally different environment than my working place (ship), coming back from work to my hotel room, hanging out with friends afterwards and having week ends free to do whatever I wish to. This is something which we all ship’s crew members dream about.

What's New

2008-04-16T07:30:00.000-07:00

This tiny section of the whole of my life is happening in Carnival Freedom, where I have been for the last 3 months or so. Looking intro retrospective I recall requesting to come to the newest ship in the fleet because of the european ports of call and the glamour of the boat an all that vanity. Today I deeply regret. But irregardless of my decisions, God has been able to bring forth the best of Him through me. I have been reminded every day for the past several months about my total vulnerability and need of my Lord.
For the past 3 or 4 weeks the crew have been under a lot of stress caused by different events and the morale is a quite low. It is something kind of contagious which is hard to overcome and avoid getting into. There have been some serious changes in the way the company runs its operation that has affected seriously the enjoyability of the job if there was any. Longest hours of work, several and repetitively reduction of personnel in the hectiest departments, and some other things have taken its toll on quite many of the crew who have decided to quit. I myself have been caught so many times playing with the idea in my mind and would have done so if it wasn't for the fact that I am counting with the money I'd save this contract. There have been times during these months were hadn't it been for God's support I would've dismay. However, I'm reminded over and over in His Word that He is working through the difficulties to shape my character and make me more like Him. I find hope as well in His promises that He gives strenght to the tired. Once I see Him working through all the circumstances I do realize He is in control.
I am still considering leaving the company probably after the end of this contract though. I think God has something else for the next period of my life.
For the time being, I will be joining Splendor at the old continent where I'll be flying on the 26th.

Few more weeks to Go

2007-10-27T02:56:00.000-07:00

So after several months waiting to know my sign off day, finally the date came from the head office. It was set for Nov. 17th. So if it doesn’t change (God first), I will get to spend for the first time after four years my b-day, christmas and new year celebration in my dear country with my family and friends. These past 4 years I have spent christmas and new year literally working. Although in my home we stopped setting up christmas trees many many years ago (ever since my siblings and I lost the interest after growing up), it is one of the things that I definitely want to do this year. I already began day dreaming about it, where it will be and my mother and sister helping to set it up. I have in mind the spot and the decorations I want it to display. Boy, I do miss home, I miss playing with my dogs, hanging out with my friends from childhood, going to church, jogging in the coast-way, seeing my friend Aquilino and many other things. So far, this has been a great period (onboard this ship) and can’t complain. God has been so good, has taught me things through blessings and difficulties while here onboard this vessel, but as the Scripture says, there is a time for everything, and I think the time to spend time with family is finally coming. I pray that this upcoming time will be far more better than the previous ones for God’s glory. I have high expectative about it.

The Blessing of Loyalty to God till the End

2007-10-06T09:35:00.000-07:00

It’s amazing how God can bring two perfect strangers and create an instant bond and friendship, just because the Cbirst-character being developed in their lives makes it easy to share their common passion for a driven purpose live, full of peace, hope and joy and because when Jesus’s love is within you, it can’t stay locked in, it just overflows freely towards others. Since I am not to good at making new friends by my own, it just amazes me how easy it was to establish a strong raport towards this total stranger senior fellow I met the other day early in the morning minutes before sunrise on the back of the boat. So I was with my cup of coffee and my camera waiting to get a good shot at the beautiful set of huge rainy clouds against the sunrise, beautiful spectace when Chuck was behind me trying to get a good angle as well, but I was partially blocking his view, so I apologized and then offered him space and then we started talking. Chuck told me his story of how against all the challenges involved by his advanced age and his health problems and the fact that he had noone to cruise with, he finally made it to cruise with us on the boat. I learned more about his life in 45 min. than I know about some of my friends I have been seeing for the past 5 months under the same ship’s roof. And it was so refreshing to having met him and shared with him different experiences. Without him having explicitely mention at the beginning I knew I had just met a brother in Christ, everything in him pointed at it, his positive attitude towards life, even though his all life long loved wife had recently passed away, his love for meeting people and sharing with them that feeling of wellness, even though he showed evident signs of health problems proper of his age, his passion for singing and playing the piano, even though his fingers are no longer strong enough and his voice no longer the same as years before, his peace conveyed through his heart, even though he knows he might not have too long left in this Place. Overall, after our short meetings in the mornings right before sunrise after that day I met him, I concluded that he was satisfied with the way he spend his life and that he was ready to go Home. That’s the sort of peace that the Apostol Paul wrote about when he said “I have fought a good fight, I have come to the end of my journey, I have kept the faith: From now on the crown of righteousness is made ready for me, which the Lord, the upright Judge, will give to me at that day...” My friend Chuck did many mistakes in his life as he mentioned to me, mistakes that he regrets about, but he understood very well that the grace of God and his mercy upon his life was much more abundantly than the consecuences of them. He relied on Christ’s forgiveness and grasped very well the concept of living his life for Him and honoring and glorifying God in everything.
Chuck was a huge blessing for my life and I do thank God for crossing him in my way. Two lessons I learned: God puts in our way people He knows we’ll benefit from and God is looking forward to put his children in others people’s way so that they can benefit from us and it’ll be easy to bond with and create strong relationships that can last long. And second, Jesus’s promise that He’ll be with his elected till the end is still valid and it can be seen in lifes like the Apostol Paul’s, two thousands years ago as well as in people like Chuck, today. Among the things we need to do, is have a willing heart to learn and obey God’s divine and perfect rules, because He knows better than us. After all, he created me and you and knows how we are supposed to work. You who read, I encourage you to give Christ a chance to direct your life and you will see things and experiment things that you never thought you could feel and live.

2007-09-16T06:37:00.000-07:00

As I spend more time reading the epistoles of Paul in the Scriptures and learn about the "mysteries kept in dark for ages to humanity and revealed to us his children in the present days" as Paul said (paraphrasing), in which salvation is a gracefully God-given gift to all wether Jewish and non-jewish, it calls my inmediate attention the fact that after Christ resurrected from his cruel death inflicted by his own people (which was long ago predicted), all the ceremonial law and different rituals came to pass for good. He himself was made curse for all of us and upon giving up his life and blood he paid the price one time and for all for our sins. We are no longer hopelessly separated from God, therefore, we are no longer bounded to rituals and the ceremonial law which only managed to put us into perspective against our rotten life and much needed of a permanent solution to our moral situation, for no matter how hard we tried to live a holy life, we would always sin miserably and therefore we would always deserve to be punished for our faults. When Christ gave up his spirit in the cross that day and exclaimed "Father receive my spirit" among the different events that happened inmediately thereafter, one has an important connotation which the people on that day could not understand. The veil of the holiest place in the temple, the very core of the Jewish religion, tradition and ceremonial rites, where no one was allowed to even peak into against loosing their own life, that veil was torn apart from top to bottom. Christ completed the purpose of the moses law with his own life, with his voluntary sacrifice he abolished all rituals and ceremonies and men intents to reach forgiveness and purpose. Now no longer we are condenmed by the ceremonial law, but we have been granted freedom of our sinful nature by the grace of the supreme Lord Jesus. It's a gift which we accept or we deny. Once accepted, we committ to live our life, out of love for all he made, to glorify and magnify his name.

Since few days ago, an important event is taken place in the world, "Ramahadan", I have seen many of my friends starting fasting and living a more "honorable" life during this month. My first thought was "wao", irregardless of our extremely hard job (cruise ship) where we all work 12 and above hours daily, they take the decision to fasting. If only christians around the world would committ themselves to live a holy life throughout the year knowing that we worship the only One, the One who said to be the "path the truth and life" the one who proved it by resurrection from the death, the One who said "whoever have seen the Son has seen the Father" the One who said "whoever comes to me shall never again be thirsty" the One who said will be back for his church one day........what a different world this would be. Second it makes me sad that many many christians won't show interest and love for these so loved people by God. Millions of people are heading towards eternal condemnation, most of them sincerily thinking they are right and we christians around the world are so worried about who has the most beautiful church building, who has more influence over others, who has the biggest church, salary increase, bigger house and many other trivial and un-important things which has no eternal consecuence. It makes me sick that so easily, so many times I myself get entangled in these same pointless issues when millions of people out there need someone to be fighting the battle in the spiritual sphere by kneeling down in prayers, fasting and economically supportting the missionaries out there who are willing to give up their neck for Christ while we sit confortably in our fine cars and go to the beach and relax and enjoy life thinking that we sincerily deserve all this. May we repent and wake up from this horrible mistake and may God forgive us and give us many chances to reinvindicate before it's too late for others. Amen.

To Grandpa

2007-09-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

One of the most memorable memories I have about my grandpa was perhaps when I was 7 or 8. Like usual during those early years of my life, during vacation time, my parents would have our grandparents babysit us. That day, I was sort of sad, hurt and angry towards my aunt, cuz I don't know if it was that I was a troublemaker or what that I was given a hard treatment by her and granny for several days. I came into my grandpa's room quitely, as to not to upset him (he was known to be dead serious and stubborn in his decisions, so people somehow feared him), so as I entered and sat down in his chair, I broke down in tears and cried like a baby. He came closed to me and wiped out with his hands the tears and told me in an unused tender tone of voice, "don't cry", everything is going to be fine and then offered me a delicious sandwich. I knew for a fact that he wasn't given to show tender emotions towards his children and relatives, perhaps for the life he had and the way he grew up, so somehow this event stayed in my mind after all these years.
Grandad passed away 3 days ago, and though we all knew it was soon to happen, I guess you can never be totally prepared to face the departure of a closed and loved one. To him the family owes part of the heritage (positive and not so positive) which we have learned to deal with. Grandad grew up almost without his parents' guide and support, made his living out of hard work and discipline, grew up his family with a hard hand and left a legacy of perseverance and effort in all. Towards the end of his life, he would be more receptive and open to listen and accept the Word of God and there was a visible change in his life. Praise God for his life who through endurance and hard work raised up my mom and my other uncles into what they came to be, praise God for his life and positive traits we learned through his life.
My prayer in these days is with my relatives and family who are mourning for this our human lost. I pray that this will bring closer to God those who haven't made up their minds and hearts to accept Christ and secure their present and future in Him.

2007-09-02T04:39:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to do something which I had stopped doing for a while and which is one of my favorite hobbies. Watch the sun rise up from the far horizon and get lost in my own thoughts. I guess I have been caught up in many job related things during the mornings that I have not been able to witness sunrises as often as I used to. Among my thoughts, one kept on jumping above the rest. God is good and consecuently, life is so. Like pastor Piper puts it simplier: (quoting) "God is most glorified in us when we are more satisfied in Him". But of course, the purpose of our life is not merely look after happiness, however no one can object that it is escencial in ones life. It's pretty interesting to realize the importance of not letting your surroundings shape permanently your feelings and state of mind. I mean, job can be exhausting, monotonous, challengeness and yet one can be able to feel an inner joy and peace of heart and mind. International news can be depressing and saddening and yet one can be able to keep a hope for that which one can't see but is convinced about it. Relatives can get sick and eventually die and yet one can be able to feel a joy about their better whereabout afterdeath. Friends that you have learned to appreciate and love might not know and accept Jesus as of yet, and althought it can be a terrible thought to imagine they can depart this world without it, yet our trust in the Word of God that our intersecion prayers can open closed doors and can close opened doors and that the heaven's windows would be opened to pour down his blessings upon those who seek Him in spirit and truth, just make me shiver with joy that one day he'll change their hearts and they will come to be co-partners in the heavenlies. I just wish I could be better prepared to make disciples like Jesus asked us. This thought is really going around my mind and keeps on jumping high. I need to be better prepared while the time is ticking away.

2007-08-12T06:33:00.000-07:00

It’s not a secret for those who have dealt with me that I don’t speak or talk to much just for the sake of it. I rather prefer to be approached and get into a conversation. I feel much more confortable as an either pasive or active listener than of as a speaker. So having that in mind, I have seen how irregardless of my nature, God modifies or should I say upgrade a man’s attitude and particular behaviours inherent to a person, for better in order to carry out His purposes within and throughout a person. As I pray to Him and ask for boldness to witness to others about his love and gift I do realize that for me to achieve that, some major changes have to happen within me, namely, leaving aside the confortability of enjoying my quiteness and sometimes loneliness that I have learned to appreciate as part of my personality. It’s becoming often the times where I have had to spend consuming time talking to co-workers, friends and aquantainces about trivial things and then turn the conversation into a spiritual one where we get to discuss and share about that which ultimately can satisfy our soul and grant us eternal life. I guess, what I am trying to express, is that although I don’t enjoy talking to much, God is changing that upon a personal request, to serve Him by witnessing to others. This brings to my mind a joke I heard from a friend in which there was a brethen joyfully singing a popular christian song taken out from a Bible story in which he asked God to pour down fire, and he is clapping his hands and singing happily “Pour down fire O Lord, Pour down fire O Lord, and suddenly, fire start pouring down and he quickly change the words of the song to “I wasn’t serious O Lord, I wasn’t serious O Lord”. How many times haven’t we ask God to change our lives, to use us as living tools for his glory, how many times, haven’t we sang songs in which we say out loud that we’ll die and give up if need be our last drop of blood or our last breath for Him, and when a little hardship touches the doors of our lives we start crying and asking God where is he or why has he abandoned us. We tend to forget easily our promises and commitments towards God which is real dangerous. When we ask God for something we should expect Him to answer it and when that happens, we should be ready to accept and take up what we have asked. Our spiritual inconsistency cost a lot to the Kingdom of Christ and we will be held responsible for it. I watch in amaze how most girls can spend days talking non-stop about something or nothing and I do enjoy watching it and can’t help but wonder how they do it and as much as that amazes me, the fact that lately I have been in the front line getting myself into long and often conversations that start as trivial and meaningless and end up in something much more important tells nothing but the story of a Father who is willing to change a man’s ordinary behaviour upon his request in order to meet his beloved children prayer. Looking into retrospective, I have met many interesting and not so interesting people and somehow we have bounded and I have got many opportunities to talk to them about God’s love, purpose and eternal gift and while by nature I prefer not to talk or speak, I realize that He has been creating opportunities for it to change otherwise, because I have asked for it and while I feel tempted to turn the opportunities down, I have realized that I would be a fool by asking for something and then turning it down. God is good, for he listen to his loved ones prayers and answers them, just because he can.

Mom

2007-07-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

Today mom called to my mobile, and while it was just a fantastic surprise to get phoned, I could sense that there was some uneasiness in her voice. She started asking how I felt and how I was, to which I replied “ok” but with an inquisitive tone of voice. Finally she spit it out and said that grandpa was in a critical state, that he had been hospitalized on wednesday urgently because of lungs problems and that to make it the badder on friday he had a cardiac arrest twice. I listened quitely and while she spoke about the events that followed and all, I couldn’t help to realize that how strong woman is this which God has blessed me for and given me to as a mother. After we hung up, my memories went back a few years ago when my grandmother passed away. It was pretty sad, she had been suffering from different illness for many endless years and she was weaker and more in pain by the day. We all loved her, their children and grandchildren and great grand children had such a delicate care for her, like almost had her as something super special more than the finest of the treasures, for all she sacrified and gave up for her family. So it wasn’t easy to see her suffering like she did and yet, she showed strong and almost never complained. It wasn’t easy to see her on her last day after falling off her bed by accident, complaining of much pain and at the same time worried to death that her children would be upset towards her for falling off her bed and consequently causing herself by accident this suffering and ultimately her death. Mom arrived to her house that day, minutes after the incident like by a miracle and she witnessed the whole event and went with her on the ambulance to the hospital, always talking to her and whispering to her ear that she wasn’t alone, that Lord Jesus was with her and would take care of her, she was there supporting her in those difficult and painful moments for grandma. Mom did not show any sign of weakness during the waiting time in the waiting room of the hospital and rather was there supporting the rest of my relatives who were all crying and sad and upset with all kind of mixed emotions as I remember when I walked into the ICU of the hospital to kiss goodbye grandma. I remember I saw mom’s eyes and they shone with a misterous peace in her heart, she was calmed as she took all of it. Everyone turned to mom, my uncles, cousins and rest of relatives for a word of confort and mom had a Bible verse to give to them and at the same time explained to them that grandma was in a much better place. It is incredible I think, how in a moment like this, extremely difficult for mom, she could still witness to my non-christian relatives and share with them the hope of the christian. The funeral took place and again, mom was there hard and firm like a rock, and everyone turned to mom for support and a word of confort, and as I recall she was serene and in peace. Finally a night or so after the funeral she broke down, alone in her bedroom and she let all the so humanly normal sadness out of her body and that was something that really moved my heart, to see her weep. Dad and us children were there to support her in this her hour of sadness where she kicked it all out. What a strong woman, mom is. So much she had been to in her life, difficulties, adversities, misunderstandings, illness that threatened her own life and yet, we all look to her for confort and support and she is always there with a godly word of advice with patience and love, oh that love that at time we abuse and ignore. I must admit, I feel inspire at this moment. So after all these years, my uncle and cousins and mom had taken good care of grandpa who seemed to be very strong phisically. For many years he tempted death with innumerable falls, but one after another one, he would avoid it. Strong like a bamboo stick. Today, he is in hospital and we are waiting. God’s will is what we want and whatever it is we will always be thankful to Him for every blessing he provided to us through grandpa. For bad and for good, he along grandma shaped my mother’s character into what she is now, all together with what Christ Jesus has carved in her own life. What a strong woman, what a blessing she is. It’s an honor to be her son and I mean it. Grandpa will eventually pass away and already my relatives are turning to mom in search of a confort word and wisdom. And although it’ll be a very hard moment for her to see her dad pass away, she is prepared for it and as much as she will be of support for others, dad and us children will be there for her in that painful moment. Praise God.

Latest News

2007-06-07T01:35:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot going on during the past month and half on my mind and around, but I have not found the strength and will to sit down and put it on writing. Well I guess, one of the most significative events around me, has been the recent travel of my parents to San Andres, Colombia which happened last weekend. It was really a good thing for them to fly out together out of the country after 27 years, when the came back from Mexico after I was born. So God blessed them with this trip and they enjoyed it a lot. I guess, that rising up children is beautiful and exciting for a couple of young parents, but as it becomes a routine and monotone, it drains a lot of life out of the parents who don't get to spend as much time for themselves as when they were alone before the children came. And as unfair as it might sound, that's part of the cycle of life. So good for them, it makes me happy.

Apart from this, today is a special day for my friend Mariana, who's birthday is today, so I do feel happy for her as well. Hope she has a wonderful day today. I wish I were there to celebrate it together. Happy Birthday Mari

Family Trip to Chiriqui

2007-04-14T03:21:00.000-07:00

My dad always emphatise on the importance of a clear and healthy relationship within the family. He would always go with what he always say and preach about quality time spent in family. As long as I can remember he has always given to it a huge importance and definitely now after years of it I have come to see some results. Thanks God for that. It takes lots of energy to pull a family together and keep it that way, it takes a lot of determination to not to give up despite his own inner struggles.
I am leaving Panama once again this coming 15th of april, just a day after his b-day and we thought it'd be a great thing to spend the weekend out of the city. So we packed our things, jumped in the bus and left to the high lands of Chiriqui. We took turns in the driving, something really new in our family road trips, for this time it wasn't only him on the wheel but me and Daniel. I guess that is just so not important for anyone else to read but me. Anyway, we arrived after almost 7 hours of driving through the night and left our bags and stuffs at the hotel and since we had only two days we decided to start visiting places right away. So our first stop on our vacation trip was the border with Costa Rica, a place called Paso Canoa. Since it was Holy Friday, it was empty and very few people around, so it was not crowded like usual and we did walk a little here and there, did some shopping and headed back to the hotel. We were so tired, and sleepy, but decided to pay a visit to my old pastor friend I met last year during a mission trip. We had previously lunch and when we arrived to his house, we were offered to lunch. So being polite as we were, we gladly accepted it and it was good, but we had to struggle to push all that food inside our stomachs. Spending time with Pastor Eric and his family was an amazing experience specially for my mom. They are still in the process of building their church and it hasn't been easy at all, but obviously by what we saw and felt in our spirit, God is in all this and with him. So after saying good bye and wishing everyone the best we finally headed back to our hotel at almost 6 in the evening. We were so exhausted to say the least. We hit our beds till next day. So next day we woke up early in the morning and we continue visiting some beautiful spots in chiriqui, like Volcan Baru town and Cerro Punta town which is in a very prominent high spot in the territory of Panama. We took lots of pictures and enjoyed the scenery. Next day we headed back to Panama city but right before, we chatted a long while and had a healthy time to share things. Thanks God for it. I guess that so many destroyed homes worldwide, the least we can be is thankful for what God has given to us.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!

Carrying it on

2007-04-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

Throughout the years, it has become a habit for me to ask God in my prayers to reveal to me his perfect will for my life. A habit that was passed onto me from my parents that has paid great results and avoided lots of unnecesary headaches.
Two weeks ago, I had to go to the U.S. consulate to get my working visa renewed. I brought all the important papers, the same ones I had brought on the several different previous ocassions, and I was very confident that I was going to get it as usual. To my surprise, the consulate officer denied it for no apparent reason. It really hit me hard and right away all sort of thoughts began to rush through my head. What am I going to do now? Will I find a nice job in Panama? and so many other very much important questions. I sort of got depressed and by the end of the day, I couldn't take it no more. I was feeling real bad and hopeless and only then, I did realize that I had shifted the trust I am to put in God onto me. Almost without realizing about it, I stop trusting God and being thankful for everything in all, and of course it lead me to depresion and hopelessness. So after realizing my wrong approach to the situation I decided to thank God for this and I started to pray that His will might be done in my life, and that no matter what the result, he would give me peace of mind and heart to accept whatever it was, for the Scripture reassures me that everthing works for good. I felt how , during two weeks after the day I got my visa denied, my faith was getting centered in God. There were so many things involved, at times, they would get into my head and won't let me go, and then I would just brush them out of my head and praise God. Finally, yesterday I went again to the U.S. consulate and brought some extra documents I didn't bring the first time and I got the visa approved this time around. As I was sitting on that chair waiting for my name to be called, I prayed once again and I said "Lord, may your will be done" I felt in peace and I was aware that from that moment onwards my life could have changed 360 degrees, and yet I was peaceful. That could only be the work of Christ in the life of anyone. I praise the Lord, for today like never before, I can tell with all security that I am still walking within His will for my life. Ever since last year I would ask God if he still wanted me to be working on the ships and yesterday I heard his voice loud and clear. When the consulate officer said "yes, I will give you the visa", that was God talking to me "yes, I still want you on the ships". Many of my friends and family constantly ask me if I am sure about being on the ships, and they would ask me all sort of question about my future. They care about me I guess, and am thankful for that, but as long as I walk where God wants me to walk, then I am happy and feel 100% secured. On one ocassion, several months ago, a friend of mind who is not believer, asked me "why are you on the ships, if you don't do all sort of worldly things? I told him, if there were not believers on the ships, then, who would tell you about Christ's love and sacrifice? My prayer is that during the days or years ahead of me on the ships, may I always be up to spread the Good News to all.

Are we praying right?

2007-03-27T09:20:00.000-07:00

Last sunday I heard a wonderful message during church. The pastor talked about a little incident he went through couple of weeks ago. After attending a meeting he had, he met some people, some others were introduced to him and so on. After he left the office, he walked to his car and right before starting the engine, somebody comes running across the parking lot calling him "pastor, pastor, pastor". The pastor thought he was getting old for he didn't remember seeing this person never before" So the excited man comes over and approached him from the window and saluted the pastor like if they were old time friends. So the pastor finally asked him, have we met yet?. The guy said, "no", but I know you are a pastor from a church in the outskirt of panama city. And then the guy asked "I know, we don't know each other, but I wanted to get from you 5 dollars" The pastor was totally caught off guard with this, he didn't know what to do, never before had been in this situation, he didn't expect this and didn't know how to deal with it. So the pastor, after making up his mind, did ask him, what was the five dollars for? And the guy said, for bus fares.

Now, let me explain this, in Panama, with five dollars you can make it halfway through the entire country on a bus. So the pastor started to doubt about the sincerity of this perfect unknown person. After reading his uneasyness, the guy finally said "well, you don't have to, if you don't want" and tried to make him feel bad about thinking over it. So the pastor finally left that place and he felt totally disgusted about the whole situation, how he felt abused, used, manipulated by a perfect stranger, who calling himself a christian tried to take advantage of him.
Then, he heard God whispering to his ear, telling him, "son, now you can see and feel a bit about how I feel when lots of people come to me with their whish list to me, but never come to me for a relationship, many of them christian including yourself sometimes, don't care about the Provider, but only the goods you can get from me"

We come to God in prayers all the time, and the first thing we shoot is our needs. Oh yes, we all have needs, we will never be completely needless, we'll always have things to ask for and God always will have tons of blessings ready to be poured out to us upon request, but, that's not all about praying. Praying is to talk to God. We worship him with prayers of thanksgiving, we aknowledge that we need Him, and of then of course we present to Him our needs. But what do we do? we are not thankful at all anymore, we seem to forget what he's done for us and only concentrate on looking at him as our celestial santa claus, without longing to have a beautiful and productive relationship with the owner of everything, the creator of the whole universe, the King.
So, this phrase sums up, the message I heard on sunday. "The answer to our prayers is directly related with the quality of our relationship". We can't pretend to get everything we want from Him, without committing our lives for Him in sanctity and justice, otherwise it would be like using, manipulating and abusing God, which we can not do after all.

Now, imagine, that your dear and beloved friend comes to you, running across the parking lot, calling out "pastor, pastor, pastor", "do you think I can borrow five bucks?" For sure he would give it out, without hesitation, moreover, he would ask if five dollars was enough and he would consider a privilege having been asked this.

Don't you think, our heavenly Father would feel and act the same way? I mean, he would say, my son, my daughter, I will not only give what you need but what is good for you. In other words, you cultivate a healthy relationship with your spouse, friend, parent and there would be very little they would not do for you, how much more our Redeemer, our source of blessings, how much more he would do for you and me, who valorate His frienship and supremacy in our lives.

I just think it was a powerful message, and just make me reconsider my prayer sessions and think carefully how I am carrying it and how I am relating to Him.

Think about it.

911

2007-03-16T08:18:00.000-07:00

Whatever happens to us christians who knowingly are living a low standard life and yet we are still able to find others to be blamed for circumstances?

Why is it that on several ocassions we do not let others help us when we are troubled in our minds and hearts?

Why is it more easy to just either explode it onto others or in the other extreme just close ourselves up like a shell in our own little world?

Why is it that knowing that we have an ever loving Heavinly Father who has promised to rescue us, we turn our faces away from him in pain and resentfullness like saying "You see what I am going through and you do nothing"

I could continue asking myself several other "whys" and the list would grow dramatically, however, the answers to all these interrogants have always been in the Scripture ready to be found and applied.

It reminds me the picture of a hurt dog who's got one of his paw pinched by a thorn along the way and the dog is lying on the floor sitting on his rear legs whining and groaning, hurt and in great pain, licking his paw with saddened eyes. If you ever try to get even close to the dog to help him out, you will see that his reaction is not pleasant. Let me explain, the dog is frightened, scared and in pain, he won't trust noone easily under this particular circumstance and he will bark and will be aggresive. He doesn't understand that the hand that is trying to get close to him only wants to take the thorn out of his paw so that he can walk freely again and breath painless, but he fails to understand so. He can't take out the thorn by himself, he doesn't have what it takes, namely, human fingers, so he rather sits back and licks his paw in self-pityness and he could spend the rest of his life with a limp rather than allowing someone to come and free him from his bondage.

How many times do we get our hearts and emotions pinched by spiritual thorns and we get hurt and dismayed? The Bible is clear when it says that being a christian doesn't mean we are going to live in a crystal bubble separate from the problems of this world. Jesus said that we will face tribulations and afflictions in this world, but he said "trust" I have defeated the world. So everytime we encounter ourselves in a poor emotional situation, we ought to seek God's face and open ourselves to others and be honest enough to humble ourselves to the dirt and cry out loud to our family, leaders and closest friends "HELP" , and not only that but to be humble to accept it without trying to justify our faults and put the blame on everyone else but us and then we will see the light at the end of the dark tunnel.

We all go through difficult times in our lives, some of us, more often than others, but in a good measurement we all have to spend some time in the dirt and it would be greatly helpful to stop trying to find why others are not doing what we think they are supposed to do to please our selfish needs and rely on the spiritual help we can get from Him in the first place and from the people He has left on earth for us to lean onto whenever these times, namely, our family in first place, our church leaders and our closest christian friends.

God is about to do amazing stuffs in and through your life and no one can stop it but yourself, don't allow that to hapen.

I love you and I continue praying for you, that God opens up your eyes and heart and let you see what you've been missing.

Yours,
Josue

A Wonderful Story

2007-03-05T22:14:00.000-08:00

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them la nd in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. " They really should get lives. " He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends
He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and myfriends thought the same of him. Monday morning came! , and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! " He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown , and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
" Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began
"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach..but mostly your friends...
I am here to tell all of you that being a
friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God in others
"A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother". Proverbs 18:24
....Authour: Unknown

Panama

2007-03-03T22:22:00.000-08:00

Panama is a beautiful country located right in the center of America, It’s a small S-shaped country with only 3 million persons. My country have been blessed by God big time over the years and His church has been fast-growing in an amazing way. Nowadays, there are more believers than ever before in it’s history. These days, I’ve been surprised to see so many people walking in the streets, doing their business and talking freely with other believers about the last sermon preached in their church, I see so many others walking freely with their Bibles, people in the bus stops, waiting for a taxi, or for a public bus, almost everywhere I turn in Panama city, I see there are a lot of people been unusually open toward it. That’s just great and only confirm some prophecies delivered to Panama from different preachers from different countries around the world which said we were going to have a revival and the church would grow like never before and there would be a revolution. I believe that word and I see it’s happening. I believe my country is not lot worse like several others in the region, because the people of God have decided to live in the edge for God.

One of the things that always bothered me is the fact that Panama is relatively a rich country with the resources been unevenly distributed. We have three powerful sources of income for our ever growing economy. Tourism is currently in a huge boom in here, with the cruise ship industry getting interested more and more in Panama as a more frequent destination or even as a homeport for one of their ships. Lots of constructions of expensive buildings which are being bought by rich europeans, americans and canadians. Secondly we have the Panama Canal which right after been given to us to be fully operated and controlled is giving some pretty amazing numbers in term of revenue every year and moreover, now with the upcoming enhancing of the current locks to allow bigger ships to pass through, it only means, lots of money. And thirdly, we have one of the most interesting banking center in the world which generates huge amounts of tax dollars to the country. My question has always been, in a small country like Panama, with only and only 3 million persons, how do we justify people dying of hunger in the country side, low standards of living, more than 70% of general poverty, no good jobs and everything that comes with this? How can we explain this to our childrens who are studying in school all this amazing facts of our country and how succesful we have become with these three prosperous industries and at the same time, they have no food in their tables to eat and no books in their bags to study and no money to go to college, essencials we all are supposed to enjoy if as we know, there is so much prosperity in our country?

There is no excuse, we can not justify it and the only coherent answer will always be, the sin which is embeded in our hearts. The more men without God have, the more they want and they just don’t care about the rest. I believe, my country is not in a worse moral and social condition because of the ever growing people of God. Two verses jump in my mind. “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, Psalm 33:12” God is blessing Panama, irregardless of the bad things and the sinful people in eminence. There is another verse that comes to my mind that says that God allow the unbelievers to accumulate resources with the sole purpose of being used at the end by the people of God.

Mr. R.

2007-03-01T22:23:00.000-08:00

Couple of days ago, I went to this lady’s office because I needed to see her to ask from her some information. As we sat there for a moment, we started talking about some panamenians who are currently working on the cruise ships and their stories. Suddenly, R. walked into the office and I was so happy to see him and so was him. We shared greetings and a hug and really, I was so happy to see R. To make a long story short, he was fired from the ships because of some misbehaviour. After we finish telling stories of the ol’ good days, it was time to go, and he did ask me for a ride, so I gladly accepted. As we were on our way to his place, we started getting more deep in our conversation. He was rescued from the grip of the enemy a few years ago, and he had been attending his local christian church and he had been growing fast as a follower of Christ, but he stepped back while on the ships and decided to follow the world again rather than God. He took that decision and I saw him going down that road a year ago while we were toguether on the same boat. Although I tried to speak some sense into his head, he would just not listen at all. Now after more than a year, I see him again, he is jobless, he sorta feel hopeless, skiny out of going through some serious economical problem and he seems to be still struggling to keep up his personal relationship with God. I felt so bad, kind of angry toward the enemy who really knows how to pull his dirty tricks on the believers whenever he is given a chance. Ever since, R. had been going through seriuous family problems and every sort of thing you can imagine can happen to anyone who ‘has a really bad luck”. I really felt myself compelled to encourage him to see this whole situation with a different perspective, although it seemed impossible to do. Our God is a gentleman, he will never force you or me or anybody else to take a decision or to follow his wonderful plan for our lives, he will respect if I or you decide to go on another direction. We are free to do so, we will always be, but what we fail to understand, or should I say, what the devil stop us from realizing is that, we CAN NOT choose the consequences of our decisions. R. is paying high for the set of decisions he took some time ago, and it will not be easy to overcome and he will cry some more and yet, it doesn’t mean his heavenly Father abandoned him. Our Father in Heaven is watching over him and is looking at him with his merciful love waiting for him to turn his face toward Him once again and ready to rescue him. God is all powerful, there is nothing he can’t do, but one thing he will never do is to coherce us. We basically get ourselve in a position where God can’t do anything for us because of his divine nature of not interfering with our own decisions. So once R. or anyone of us get fed up of living a disgraceful, empty and meaningless life and we decide to crawl back to Dad and ask for forgiveness and mercy, he won’t have to be asked twice. The Bible says that Jesus is interceding for us before the Father. He is basically our lawyer, when we hire his services of redempting and justifying us before the Father, He promised He would do it. R. and I spent some time toguether in the car before stepping outside, and we talked about this and we prayed and I trust that God is going to bring into completion what he already started a few years back in his life when R. first heard and accepted Him. Amen.

God´s Grace and Mercy

2007-02-26T16:29:00.000-08:00

The other day, I heard a very sad and shocking story that happened in a church somewhere in US. The youth pastor was having an affair with one of the girls and got her pregnant. The big deal about it was that after learning she was pregnant, he killed her. Nowadays, it is getting so frequent to hear in the news about christian ministers and church leaders been involved in moral scandals and of course the international media and Satan behind it, is more than pleased to broadcast it worldwide. I do understand and makes me sad the fact that these sins and mistakes are destroying the faith of thousands and avoiding some others to give their life to Christ. However, although this is not new, what really makes me humble is the fact that none of us who called ourselves followers of Christ are exempted to face all this kind of temptation and tribulations. I mean, it makes me tremble the fact that I am very much suceptible to fall and do something really stupid and affect my life and the ones of so many others. I would normally think "not me....!, those things only happen to other christians, it wouldn´t happen to me!" when the truth is that the moment we walk away from our Provider´s path even an inch, we are in Satan´s territory and he will do everything he knows, he will pull every trick he has under his sleeve to make us fall and destroy us. Now, who can ever say that he or she does always walk in God´s path of righteousness without ever considering to relax a bit and take it easy after a wonderful period of victory? It is right there, were most of all christians are vulnerable to fall, and it just makes me humble and I feel that I need to be totally dependable on God´s grace . Grace is a God´s favor that I don´t deserve and yet he gave as a gift to me. Now, here is my point, I know that His grace is infinite and that there is nothing I can ever do to be worthy of it, and yet it seems that we tend to abuse it and it is then when God says "you know, I can´t force you to do things the right way, if you want to go in a particular way withouth considering my advices, well, it´s your choice, but you won´t be able to choose the consequences of it"

This ex-youth pastor, I believe he will repent before getting hanged and God will forgive him. Ohh, God´s mercy is infinite, absolutely, this young man did something really terrible, but God is willing to forgive him and accept him no matter what, for the Word of God says "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" Romans 8:35. No matter what we do, even if it is something really bad, if we come down to Him he will forgives us, cleans us and accepts us, he won´t abandon us and leave us alone, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" I John 1:9 . But we will still have to pay the consequences and people will have to go through hardships because of it. I pray that God keeps me from evil and put in me the willingness and strenght to hold Him tight always, otherwise, there are million ways to fall off his grace and my deepest long is to serve Him in purity and integrity of life.

For you who have done something really terrible or living your life in a sinful way, carrying your life out of the Spirit, let me encourage you to turn your face to Christ once again and trust in Him that he will restore what have been stole from you and don´t forget what He said "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death....do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit" Roman 8:1,4 When Satan comes up and reminds you your past and all your bad deeds, remind him his future "And the devil (Satan and his demons), who decieved them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur...They will be tormented day and night forever and ever" Revelation 20:10. So where is your accuser my dear friend? Look what Revelation 12:10 says: "...for the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down..." Satan knows his future very well, I bet he has a very clear picture of what is prepared for him and so he is desperately pulling every trick he knows to deceive you and me which he accomplish by messing up our minds in order to make you and me fall and do terrible things and yet, even then we are still on time to crawl back to God and ask for forgiveness and his Mercy will cover us and will shine upon our faces.

Final Destination

2007-02-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

So here I am, once again sitting at the airport by myself and my thoughts and I can’t help but to remember how many wonderful things have happened and I have gone through these last few days. After saying good bye to my dear friend in San Antonio, I took off and arrived back to Houston where I would catch my plane to Miami. As I sit and wait my memories go back to the time I spent in Dana’s house. Dana is a newly friend God has given to me which I got because of some common friends we share from the ship. Couple of weeks ago, while we were having lunch along with Mariana and Edwin, she offered to give me shelter in her house for the day I was supposed to wait on the airport to catch my flight to Miami and I gladly accepted. Although it sounded like a good idea, Edwin suggested that it was a great opportunity for me to cook some panamenian food while spending overnight there. It’s funny, because I had previously said that I would cook in Panama everytime during my vacation time and this and that, and then I found myself in a creepy situation where I was going to have to prove my cooking skills. I mean, it had been more than 10 months since I actually cooked anything and the idea of practicing with my friends scared me. So I was supposed to practice some cooking back in San Antonio with Howard, but things didn’t work out the way we planned, so I couldn’t cook. Anyway, I thought, will have to do it, no matter what. So having all that concerns in my mind, we greeted each other upong arriving in Houston and we headed to a restaurant where we had a very tasty italian dinner and a nice conversation. After that we headed to a store where I intended to by a video game console for my brother, and then…..what should I buy as a present for my baby sister? No clue. I don’t know her shoe sizes and stuffs, so Dana helped me out in this one and we went to check some jewlerys and I found something I think she’ll like.

Next day, I woke up a bit late and started the cooking for our so awaited lunch and I fixed the fried rice first and then the stirloin steak strips after. I had to call Ana to ask her how to prepare properly the “platano en tentacion” and so I got it done, but the beans….oh the beans, we forgot to soak it overnight so they were stubbornly hard and would’nt cook as fast as we needed. Dana’s daughter, Ashely showed up for our lunch and I conclude they liked the meal by their face expressions, and I actually did feel like any chef in the world would feel, satisfied that their guests enjoyed the meal. It was a wonderful afternoon, we talked and shared and remembered and it was just awesome. I am grateful to God that he allowed me to share with christians during these days and it was such a blessing for my life. For me, relationships had not been easy for so many years, and I see how God is working in this area in my life lately and I feel blessed and humbled to see God working within me.

FROM LABI (LATIN AMERICAN BIBLE INSTITUTE)

2007-02-21T12:13:00.001-08:00

One my dearest friends from Panama is studying Bible college in LABI, in San Antonio Texas, so I thought, what a wonderful opportunity to pay him a visit before traveling back to Panama after signing off for vacation. So we spoke about it for couple of months and we did plan how it was going to work. So after I left my vessel in Galveston I traveled to Houston and from there I flew to San Antonio where we reunited once again after many several long months. It was such a blessing to see Howard again and see him doing good. I have had the opportunity to see with my own eyes what is to be in a campus, what is a dorm life and enjoy all of this, but most importantly I have enjoyed and seen with delight what God actually does with young people whom he has called to serve Him full time in His work. These youngster, most of them from humble origins have received a clear call early in their lives and are committed to prepare themselves to give and answer to anyone who ask them to give them the reason for the hope they have which is Christ (I Peter 3:15). These kids could be anywhere doing anything else, but they have chosen to seek God and let him mold their characters so that when the time comes, they are ready to take full responsibility of the ministry God is forging in everyone of them. They are to be part of the next generation of youth leaders, teachers, pastors, evangelists and missionaries and as I look at their childish faces, and their imperfections and fears and concerns and dreams I can’t help it but realize, in a few years from now, they will be out there in the real world fullfilling full time the great commission as their primarily objective in life after their own personal relationship with God. It just amazes big time and fills me with joy. I see myself in that mirror and see my reflection on it, I wonder if I am fully doing my part in this general call He has given to all. To some of us, God will never call for a long term mission trip to the end of the world, to some others, God will never call to be a church pastor, to some others, God will never call to be a famous evangelist who is broadcasted worldwide on TV, to some others, God will never call to be great teologicians or renowed teachers and yet God has a specific wonderful calls for every single one of his children, namely, me and you; the regular type of person who has a regular job with regular people in a regular situation. “For God’s gifts and calls are irrevocables” Rom. 8:29. God’s given us different calls and gifts we must use irregardless of where is our missing field.

To me, missions means a lot and my heart is full of passion for it. When I hear missionaries’s testimonies about how God worked out things marvelously, it just feels my heart with joy. And yet, God wants to do those same stuffs in our ordinary lives, in those of us who might never go the the end of the world to witness Him. Let’s never forget what Jesus said in Acts 1:8 “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the earth” It hit me that almost everyone supports those who receive a call from God to go to North Korea or Vietnam or Morroco or anyone of those countries where Christ is not accepted and that’s great, but God’s call is not only to “the end of the world” but also to “Jerusalem” which represents our communities, cities, districts, etc, and not only there but also to “Judea” which represent our countries and also “Samaria” which represent the minorities in our societies.

These young men and women in LABI will understand and learn and get prepared intelectually and professionally to carry out the mission, but for the rest of us, we must remember that every person without Jesus in their hearts, in our offices and jobs is nothing else but a mission field for us to take care of.

I continue to pray for the missionaries, pastors and teachers and so I will start doing for the future missionaries, pastors and teachers that are being educated and nourished at the present.

A Special Friend

2007-02-20T12:11:00.000-08:00

Three months ago I met a girl Although we met each other for a while and we lived on the same boat, it wasn’t until recently that we start talking and getting to know each other. We start spending more time talking and going toguether to some activities and after some time we began to get closer. After considering the option and praying I took the decision of asking her if there was a chance for us to develop a special friendship were we would commit to know each other and God and go from there onward. Well it took me a great deal of courage and determination to stand there on the aft of the boat on that windy and semi-cold dark night of the 15^th of february and tell her my feelings. It had been for a long while since I did that last time and while I felt so nervous that I had an almost abnormal grip on the wooden hand-rail it didn’t feel so bad after all. It was great to hear that she felt the same way about me and so, we started our journey as friends. She is smart, pretty and determined, she loves to talk to people and be open towards all, most of the times spontaneous, and has some sort of innocence drew permanently on her face. At the same time she has a way of getting in trouble and then think she had nothing to do with it. People just love her and they feel comfortable around her. She has this weird thought that she is ever getting overweighted when the truth is she is just about fine the way she looks, but it is so cute to remind her how good looking she is. Anyway, we spent the last few days I had onboard the boat together and although it was kind of sad to leave and to know that the distance is going to be in between us, I think it’s going to be healthy for our friendship. I will miss so much to be around her, but I do pray that God is going to take care of her and me and our friendship. I had a lot of doubt about long distances relationship, but I guess God is working on this and us and I choose to believe that he will bring something beautiful out of this. And so I will choose to trust him. I have lots of dreams, I am a dreamer, I’d say, and though I tend to planify, God has the last word and his final decision is the one I one to follow.

Facing My Fears and Defeating Them All

2006-11-17T23:25:00.000-08:00

Some time ago, one of my many fears was to be assigned to a particular class of ship within the company because among other things, it seemed to me a horrible place and very unconfortable place to work and live. Well, guess what? For my third contract I got assigned to an even worse class of ship than the one I feared. I felt I was not gonna make it and it was not a nice feeling. Eventually I overcame that fear and that was all about it. I am very much afraid of changes, as a matter of fact I don't like them, they make me feel insecure and unsafe. However, the truth is, God wants to deal with this area in my life and he assures me that putting my trust in him rather than in the "what if's" or "I won't make it's" or any other excuse is what I ought to do. Seems to me that God is destroying every one of my fears one by one by making me go through them and facing them. Tought huh? Well it is, but at the end of the day, when I get hold of the victory, the feeling is unmeasureable. For a couple of months I've been scared about some "bad guys" I might have to work with along the way in my job and although I would give anything to avoid them, God seems to be serious about this issue. Apparently in a few weeks, I will have the chance to work with and it gives me the goosebump, but I am choosing to trust God and even consider being used to bless him. After all, who can tell the future or know it but God? I praise God for every aparent block in my way which I choose to see it as a stepping rock to grow. And there will be more fears to be destroyed and conquered. I am up for it. Bring it on!!!

Updating

2006-11-02T15:01:00.000-08:00

So I failed to post on a timely manner that fact that I have been transferred one more time from one ship to another. This was actually my third movement in one same contract. So after sailing in Paradise and finishing my training I was sent to Sensation, an old small ship and spent three long months which by God’s grace alone I managed to survive after facing some differences with a my co-worker. She is our boss’s wife, so things were not particularly fair. Never thought I would find myself in one of those creepy situations, but it happened and I learned some valuable lessons like, no matter how right you can be, never try to win an argument because at the end of the day you are still under the boss’s grip. Lol, of course, that is partially true, but I found about it the hard way. So, we were working very hard during those months to get ready for U.S. public health inspection which we passed nicely with a 97% score and I thought I was going to have a nice relaxation period, but....think again, not even three days after finishing the stressful never ending checking of cleanliness and procedures I was informed that I had been assigned to go on a different ship in a few days to help them get prepared for U.S. public health. Arg, that was a cold shower. So I left Sensation on nassau, bahamas, were I took my plane, which I almost missed because of the slowliness of the check-in process. I must have been checked 4 times along with my luggages 4 times at least, before getting into the plane. I finally reached Miami, where I spent overnight in a hotel and finally flew to Galveston, Tx. where I joined M/S Conquest my new home. It’s been almost two months now and also we finished with public health inspection, so now things are smooth. Although I must admit, that I have less responsabilities in here than I used to have in Sensation. There is still plenty of things that I need to learn, specially with the paperwork and budgeting administration. Hopefully I will get to learn a few things before going on vacation. Uhh, which reminds me about the sad fact that I won’t spend christmas time in panama, as I was expecting. Along with my change of ship, there was a change of vacation schedule. Before I was due vacation to 7 of Dec. Now, I am for 4 of Feb. So, that makes three more months to go, before steping on panamenian soil. I need prayers, cuz I am not quite sure if I am to come back next contract. I am not feeling it, but I don’t want to do something out of my feelings. I want to do it because it is God’s will.

True Comparison

2006-11-02T14:58:00.000-08:00

During the last two weeks or so the weather hasn’t been sunny and nice as it is during summer time. It has been rainy, heavily windy that storm the ship from one side to another and make people throw up and wonder why on earth they chose to cruise on a ship. Of course that scene would change as the first two days passes by and would be replaced by the intense heat and humid conditions of the caribbean. Anyway, the other day, while the ship was rocking heavily because of the rough sea and wind, I witnessed something extremely interesting. The sky was partially clouded by big heavy grey clouds threatening to rain hard on one side and on the other side it was sunny and lighted. It was a picture of hope and reassurance that everything was going to be back to normality. It was windy, the sea was splashing big waves and it was partially dark, but far in the distance there was a powerful feeling of secureness given by the sunlight. Suddenly I realized that my life could easily be represented by this whole picture. Perhaps surrounded by difficulties and stress, so much maybe that I fail to look at the side of the sky which is clear and shiny which ultimately represent the hope of my life. Then I felt an interior peace and the promises of the Lord who rushed to my mind that although the weather and sea might be rough, above those heavy grey clouds there is a huge shining happy sun who is going to eventualy defeat the darkness created by the problems and temporarily circumstances and rescue me from my own lack of faith.

Learning to Walk a Steady Life

2006-08-21T07:56:00.000-07:00

During the past several days, I had been struggling big time with my daily walk with God, and that I could tell because of how many spiritual battles consecutiverly I had been loosing. It seems like whenever you are in the higuest point of your relationship with God, then like a rollercoaster you start descending fast till you realize how bad you are. Spiritual rollercoasters has been the story of my life, story the now more than ever, I feel God has determined to change to a different story in my life. After a lot of thinking, I have come to understand that one of God’s divine specific purpose for my life in me being on the ships is that He wants me to grow mature in certain areas where I am weak and tend to be my rollercoasters and the best way was to take me out of my comfort zone, namely, my country and my family and put me in a place where it is only me and God, no one else. How long more? Only God knows, but one thing I know, it will depend on how much I trust and let God guide me and how much obedient to Him I am. I realized that being home, it was easy to not live up to the Spirit standards, a life full of fruits and a life of holiness. I guess, I would feel crappy for I was letting God down, but in my persistant rebellion it could pass days, weeks and even months in that state of sinful life, apart from God, without taking action and repenting. And then again, after some time and help from my parents and friends I would decide it was enough of that kind of life and I would repent and receive God’s forgiveness and then again after some time would come down. Well, on the ships, being down for any amount of days, is something really really dangerous. I have learned that, the hard way. Sin is breathable in every corner of a cruise ship. It can swallow you in a matter of seconds. Only then I realized, that I can’t let my guard down for a second. And whenever I had, the worst days of my life had come to pass. Days like those, I feel extremely crappy, down, wondering the reason of my existance, and even doubting about my true identity in Christ. The devil had won and he knows it, he had me in his grip and he won’t let me go until and only when I lift up my eyes to Jesus to help me out. I guess this would be the second important purpose of my life at this stage of it. And when this one is growing, then the other purpose of my life which is to reach as many people as possible to God, becomes easy.

The Dog and House of Mirrors

2006-07-11T10:57:00.000-07:00

I remember, once I read a nice story that talked about a dog who entered into one of these Fairs thousand mirrors house and upon entering he saw thousands of dogs staring back at him. Right away he felt overwhelmed and put a hard expression in his face and inmediately the other thousand dogs had the same expression in their faces. The dog, got frightened and started barking in anger and inmediately the other thousand dogs barked back at him in anger. So finally the dog went away thinking to himself, what a horrible place to be. Some time later, another dog entered the same place and upon entering, he saw with awe lots of dogs staring to him and he smiled and started to move his little tail and inmediately the other thousand dogs answered back at him with the same expression of happiness. He left that place thinking to himself, what a wonderful place to be. Point to wonder about....It's all about what you express. If you express anger and show yourself grumpy and picky, that's what you will get from others. If you greet others and smile at them, that's exactly what you will receive from them. That's a lesson I have been learning since I joined the ships . On the ships there are so many cultures and backgrounds and when you first come into a cruise ship with another 1000 crew you feel overwhelmed and not only you but everyone else. Different languages, believes, religion, colors and thoughts. So the first thing you do if you are not extremely outgoing is to put on your hardest face, and try to show that you don't need of others. The outcome of that? well, nobody greets or smile at you and you feel miserable. And when there is more than one with that kind of behaviour, then you have a very unfriendly working environment. So I have been improving a lot ever since I realized it was all in me. I tend to greet every single person that crosses in my way, and try to get into a small conversation of whatever is going on. I have been trying to make every one of those encounters like to most important thing in the world. Even those ones who have a tough face and don't greet no one, even those one, after a couple of attemps from my side, when they see me, they change their expression and put a smile in their face when they see me. I am amazed to see how true it is and it totally works. It not only opens up relationships, but it also opens up opportunities to talk to them about God, his Son and his gift. That's exactly what is happening in my life and for that I thank God, because it's been all him. For me, it has not been easy. I am not an outgoing person, most of the time, I feel like the first dog who in fear shows himself picky. But God upon my request has been changing that little by little over the years, and today I can say I have improved a lot in this particular area.

Take the Decision to Make it Happen

2006-07-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

On our last christian fellowship, the leader was talking about spending quality time with Jesus in prayer and meditation and how difficult it had been for him in the last few days because of the Soccer World Cup. Upon getting into his cabin, he would turn on the TV and watch the matches. He admitted that it had been tough for him to get focus on Christ for his attention was on a wordly thing. He didn’t mean to say that to watch a soccer game per se was sinful, he was rather saying that the time he was supposed to invest in nurturing his heart and mind with God, he was using it for something else, and that was sinful. As the discussion went over, one of the guys said “ I am sorry, but don’t ask me not to watch the last three matches of the W.Cup, cuz for nothing in the world I would miss them” Lol, that was honest, that came from his heart, but as the leader later on said “If God wants you to spend time in prayer just during the time the games are being played, you should do”, to what the guy answered he won’t do and then repent later on. Now, let me get this straight, I don’t believe that he would go to hell for this act of clear and open disobedience toward God in this hipotetically example, but as the leader put it out very clear, he would miss blessings from God that were meant to be given to him, blessing that were supposed to be passed onto others through him and perhaps it would also open doors to the enemy that he would use against him to harm him and put him down. The leader put the example of Benny Hinn; he had an upcoming campaign and before those huge concentrations he would spend at least 3 days confined into a room spending time with God alone in prayer and meditation of the Scriptures without any kind of interruption. It happened that his sister who lives in a very far away country came over to visit him and even though he was supposed to spend time with God before the campaign, he decided to spend some time with his beloved sister. Now, don’t get me wrong here, there is absolutely nothing wrong in someone spending time with his sister, but if you have something else that requires your fully undivided attention specially if it has to do with God, then nothing else is more important than that. God deserves our fully undivided attention. So the campaign began and not even one sign and miracle occurred. Could you imagine that? People are used to see signs, wonders and healing miracles on Hinn campaigns, but not this time around. Then, he realized the reason of it. Once again, the fellowship leader put another example, this time, Dr. Yongisho from South Korea. He was praying in his room, and as he says, there is nothing else more important than talking to Dad, so it is a rule for him and his family knows about it, no interruption while talking to the Creator. Suddenly, the president of South Korea rang him up, his wife answered the phone and requested to talk to Yongisho and she said, he is praying in his room, to what the president answered “It is the president of the country who is talking, you don’t know? When Yongisho got that message from his wife, he told her to answer “I am talking to God, you don’t know”. It is a very powerful story and testimony. That we should aim to. We spend way to much time in things that are worthless when viewed against the whole picture of Christ, his sacrifice, our life purpose and eternal future. Like John Piper says, christians are thrilled fishing, collecting shells, sailing in boats and golfing their way to heaven when we should be connected with what is really worthy, when we should be going out there to speak out loud about Jesus and his love for all. We can’t be able to open our hearts and share with others what we don’t have and feel. We can’t have and feel God’s love and passion if we don’t spend quality time with Him. At the end of the day, he is the reason of our whole existance and everything we are and have.

Thanks, God for your holy revelation that touches and teaches my heart.

The Power of a Good Book

2006-06-26T20:01:00.000-07:00

I’ve been reading this book called “It’s your ship” written by a former U.S. Naval Captain who took command of USS Benfold few years ago. The whole plot of the book is about how he used his learned over the years leadership skills to turn USS Benfold in the “best damn ship of the Navy”, as he stated. The book is having a huge impact in my own experience as a leader and it is challenging my own conventional mostly obsolete way of leading. It has been stirring my thoughts and I since I am aware of some things now, I start to realize where I am lacking. I am good at making things happen and getting things done, if someone don’t do something he was supposed to do, I do it myself and end of story. I get the credit from my boss, who only cares about results irregardless of the methods used to achieve it. But the truth is, although I delegate things, I haven’t learned to motivate my junior managers to be passionate about the job, to take the best possible decisions by themselves, and to motivate their subordinates. So that in the end people do things because they understand the importance of it, they get to be more responsible, they get to grow as individuals with potential to achieve more and more and I get to have an easier life, satisfied that I have achieved something real and durable. So now I am into learning this new stuff, that even though is not a built-in skill in me, I can learn and use. Although learning is a painful process that incommodate is worth of going through it. Story of my life. I can tell with all authority about it. Easiest thing in the world is not to try, or learn and continuing with the same stubborn way of doing things that don’t benefit no one. I’ve been applying some principles already and it is paying off. One of the reasons why I decided that I wanted to take the challenge of being a manager in this 50.000 + employees organization is that during my relatively short period of time in the company, I’ve seen to many things that are wrong irregardless of what the company policies and procedures pursues. So I thought I could make the difference at least within my range of power. And, although that is my goal, I’ve been learning the hard way and now through this book, that I won’t be able to change the whole thing overnight. It will take time, wisdom and lots of patience. But as of my small subdepartment that I run, I already started doing changes that will benefit all. I might encounter friction in the way because of other mid level managers’ old and obsolete schooling, but I am up for the challenge. We can’t fight today’s war and be fully effective with what was effective years ago. The world changes and so the rules and goals. Yesterday, in the hotel bussiness, all that mattered was to get the guest satisfied no matter if the employee worked 18 hour straight, with very short breaks among others unconformities. Today, the guest is way more exigent and demandant and it is required from the hotel staff to be mentally fresh in order to greet the guest sincerely and transmit a sense of contagious peace and satisfaction that at the end of the day will keep bringing that guest back. My goal is to make my team take good decisions by themselves within the range I consider safe and at the same time have them bring new and fresh ideas that would rock this bussiness.

Finished the Training Program

2006-06-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

So here am I, sitting at LAX airport, once again on a vessel transfer. I am getting tired of these travelings from one ship to another. Extreme long waiting on the airports, long flights and of course don’t forget about the hazzling of packing and unpacking over and over again in a short period of time. Anyway, apart from that, I am satisfied with myself and thankful to God, for I finished the managament training program in M/S Paradise. So finally got my stripes and am ready to run the business by myself. It was a two month program, kind of short for what it really takes, but it didn’t take me more than that to finish it. Gavin (Head Depart. Manager) was very pleased and so was Catalin (evaluator) with my performance over the evaluation period and so am I. They pointed out some aspects that I need to develop though, in order to be a better and more effective manager, so I am ready to take the challenge and improve myself in those areas.

Now, looking in retrospective, when Mussarat (Liberty, AFB Mgr.) told me I was gonna train with a bunch of other guys under the same roof, she told me I had to be the tip of the spear in order to be acknowledged by the trainers and shine above the rest. Also she said that she considered it was a disadvantage to train on the management college for it was to theorical and not to practical. Well, I can honestly tell that she was right regarding being three steps ahead the rest in order to be the first and the best, and though it was not easy because I had to push myself to the limits and do unusual things and what others didn’t want to do, I managed to achieve it and it paid off greately. However, regarding the fact that I would spent to much time dealing with theories and procedures and stuffs without getting to know and deal with the real business, well, I conclude that, if you don’t handle the knowledge which in this case is our main tool, then you could not be an effective manager at all and less likely to succeed. So it’s all up to each new manager to put into practice and practice it over and over again until he becomes a pro. I am grateful to Gavin for he taught me some valuable lessons. Integrity, transparency and honesty is involved in every aspect of a manager job and he showed it to me with his own example and so I know how to do it, in theory at least, but am so putting it into practice from tomorrow on until it becomes natural.

On the sad note about the time spent there, I will mention an incident I had with a fellow country college. He didn’t agree with the way I handled a situation and he just exploded and verbally abused me in front of other people and while I never cared about being cursed in front of others, it hurt me so bad, cuz we have the same blood running in our veins and we should be more than friends, specially because we are probably the closest family we are gonna have while far away from Pma. So I had to report him to our supervisor and deal with the incident and he got even angrier and bitter and never talked to me again. I tried to talk to him and make peace, but he refused and said, he didn’t want. So it was incredibly unconfortable for me to have him around hating me and telling people what a monster I was. Catalin said to me that his problem might be something else and that he just found that day’s situation to justify his open hate toward me. Not cool….at all. Well, I left it in the hands of God and I forgive him.

Finally, it was tough to leave people behind wondering if I will ever see again, but at least this time, I took plenty of pictures to those persons that meant something to me and that have left a footprint in my life.

Vows Renewal

2006-05-04T23:19:00.000-07:00

The other day while helping the guys from Room Service to set up everything for a special function, I had the opportunity to see one of the sweetest thing I had ever seen.
This 60 person group of people from Palestina which traveled on our ship were celebrating a very special occasion. The 50 years anniversary of wedding of Mr. and Ms. X. It was such a spectacular thing to see many generations there, from the children of them to the great grandchildren of them. Their children, wearing already white hair and those little babies yet learning to walk were altogether cruising to celebrate their vow renewal. The oldest son with his strong middle orient accent was stating some facts about the couple and proposing a toast. Right after it, the captain of the vessel, the Master himself showed up all dressed up to lead the vow renewal ceremony. A white carpet was laid on the floor and an altar next to two roman-styled columns were fixed for the occasion where the Captain of the vessel would read the words and make them repeat their vows. While those two, long time couple and friends repeated their vows with their fragile and hardly perceptible tone, proper of their advanced age many of us got emotional, specially when the lady repeated the words with her still soft and loving sweet way of talking to the man she has loved for so long. A funny fact and many of the crowed laughed out loud was when the captain read something about “nurturing and sharing her dreams” he repeated it, but then said, “whatever short time we still have left” and while it was funny because of the way he said it, in a way that’s accepting the inevitable which is close for them and that can make anyone sad. Anyway, when that part was over, their oldest son quited the crowd and asked the DJ to play a song which as he stated was the first song they danced more than 50 years back. Boy, if the part of repeating their vows made many of us to entertain a tear or two, this part would finish the unfinished business. The crowd stepped aside and let the dancing floor free for them to dance. The song started to sound and they locked themselves in a fragil hug like if supporting themselves, soft steps from one side to another and the bride looking at his face in such a loving way, he would still have some caution regarding showing himself to emotional, he could be very advanced in age but he would still remember very well what he was taught ever since he was a boy, “guys don’t cry and show to much tenderness” and then 3or 4 minutes and they got tired and finished their dancing. The crowd gave them a round of applaused and lots of pictures. This small event made my day and gave me lots to think about a relationship. No doubt they have had their strong differences and arguments but at the end of the day and life they would stick together and forever until the death. What a strong and appealing example of fidelity and loyalty. These days are full of people who get married only to divorce a year or two after because of a difference they were not willing to fix. Easist thing is to run away, doesn’t need effort. Many of the people I talk nowadays have lost hope in marriage and are reluctant to get married. They rather live together to see what happens like anticipating that it will fail soon and then will be easy to leave and find another person and so on. It’s sad. I hope someday I find a beautiful person that would want to spend the rest of her life with me.

Long and Tedious Flight

2006-04-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

Uh....finally, I am at my hotel room in L.A. After the whole day flying and waiting at the airports. I am happy I made it good and I am ready for a good sleep session for tomorrow I start paying condemn, lol. I am off for now.

What a Hectic Last Day at Panama

2006-04-12T22:38:00.000-07:00

So I woke up early in the morning, say around 9:00 am and I was up for the day. There was plenty to do and to think. First thing I decided to do was to develope couple of photographs I made of my friends and give them away as gifts to my friend Zuleyka, Liri and Sandra. I thought it would make a great gift. Since I am not to much of a gift buyer or shopping lover I think that was an easy and effective gift. Anyway, right after that I went to "El Hogar Bolivar" (nursing home) to visit Aquilino. He is good, strong and relatively healthy. I was very happy to see him, but at the same time, sad to know it´s gonna be months before I see him again. We chatted a little bit about God and the decision he needs to make to receive eternal life and we talked also a little bit about my last trip to San Blas. Now that I think about it, I shared with him every single trip I made to the countryside during my vacations. When I went to Pedasi, before I departed I told him about it and when I came back he asked me about the trip and about places he had seen years ago when he visited Pedasi. When I went to Chiriqui, before I departed I did tell him also about it and the same story after I came back. I was like, uhh, how were things and the weather and everything, since that´s the place he grew up. And when I went to San Blas, same story. I am very glad I had plenty of chance this time to share with him and I know that made the difference in his life during this period. He was sad when I told him I was leaving the following day and that made me even sadder to see his expression. I asked him if it was ok for me to hug him and so I did. He is taller than me but that didn´t prevent him from holding on to me tight. He even offered to give me 5 bucks and I was like, nah, you don´t need to do that, even though I know that was the only way he knew to compensate in a way my visits to him and the time I shared with him. We said good bye and I truly am looking forward to see him alive and healthy next time I come down to Panama. I thank God for blessing me through this relationship with Aquilino while I know I´ve been of blessing to him. I wish everyone could adopt at least one elder from any of the nursing homes or sick people from any of the hospitals or inmates from the jails. That would make the whole difference in their lives. So right after I departed from the nursing home I was heading to my house for I wanted to make some phone calls and take a nap when Ana Cristina rang me up asking if I was forgetting something. I checked my watch and I alsmot had a heart attack. It was 12:30 pm and I was supposed to be at her place at 12:00 for lunch. She cooked lunch for us and I totally forgot about it. It slipped out of my mind completely. I could almost see her expression on her face of "as-soon-as-I-see-you-I-will-kick-you" So I sped to her house and we had lunch and chatted. That was my second lunch of the hour. I was looking pretty much like a ballon. So we talked about life and the future and some common friends and finally I was time for me to go somewhere else. So we said good-bye and I left. Later on I went for mom and took her from her work to our home and then I went to say good bye to some other friends. So I´d been pretty much running from up and down from one side to another the whole day, buying last minute things and calling people to say good bye. Finally I got to go home for an hour or so where I took a short nap and then woke up to go to church with my parents. It was then, and only then, in a hidden corner of my humble home when I sort of broke down. I had been sad the whole day, honestly I didn´t want to go, AGAIN, but while I was waiting for my parents to get ready for church, in that corner I start giving way to my thoughts and the events of the day and the inminence of the next day and I couldn´t hold the tears of sadness any longer. Silently they ran down my cheeks and I couldn´t help it. That was it, and I didn´t want to pass that over my parents, so I pulled myself together and we headed to church. It was such a wonderful time there. The words from Pastor Cedeño where those words I was needing for that hour and began to pray and God started to do something in me. Now I feel better, I even got a home made cake from Amarelis I got when I went after church to say bye, and it is exquisite. So that was my day and I am just 6 hours away from taking off from Panama for the next 8-10 months.

Time is Over

2006-04-09T23:32:00.000-07:00

Well, well well...I can´t complain about my time in my home country this year. I had a wonderful time, I spent marvelous moments with my family and my closest friends, I visited places I had never visited before and made some new friends. Unlike other years, this time I feel like I don´t really want to go back and leave all this behind for the next 8 to 10 months. Memories with my adopted friend Aquilino, my new friends from the small village in Chiriqui (Vista Linda), Berna and Playon Chico, Sandra and the trip to Pedasi, the old-style kind of long and productive conversations and arguments with Howard, the movies with Ariel and his friends, the lunchs and dinners with my brother in On-the-Run, the long sleeping sessions and the time with my family, it is all about to end for a long period of time. I tend to get sad of course for it is normal and get myself into thinking about until when it´s gonna be like this. However this upcoming period of time away from my country, family and friends I wills still count with them and their support in prayers as usual plus God´s help of course. Memories are always an excellent way to cheer me up, it´s always had, specially during tough times that are plenty. I will miss so many thing, so many things. It is always hard to depart, doesn´t matter from where. Either departing from there or departing from here, it is always a painful period that longs sometime and hurts and it´s not nice. Anyway, I am leaving Panama again this coming thursday 13 of april a day before dad´s b-day and will fly to miami and then to final destination long beach, california where I will catch my ship and start again. I am already shifting my vacation brain mode to slave, I mean, working brain mode. Lol. Let´s see what God has for me and for others through me in this new period of time, this new chapter that is about to unfold.

Visiting the Kuna Ayalas in San Blas

2006-04-02T22:21:00.000-07:00

So my church (casa de oracion cristiana) sent a missionary, to the lands of the natives of Kuna Ayala, who happens to be from that same land. His name is Bernabe and he was sent by our church as a missionary to his own land, the land that saw him when he was born, the land that saw him grow his first few years before coming along his family to the big city in Panama. So my friend Howard who is one of the coordinators of the missions ministry in my church thought it would be good to invite me over to visiting Berna. Our ride was a 40 min. travel from Panama city in this small old-creepy plane. We were seated right behind the pilot and the co-pilot just like we seat behind the driver of a bus. We saw everything and while it was interesting to see them doing what they love to do, it was frightening. The weather was bad within the period we spent there. It was raining and raining and it wouldn´t stop raining. There was a moment when we were flying over some hills with the sea on one side when suddenly we entered into a super heavy stormy section and we changed in matter of seconds from day-time light to complete night-like darkness and then after some time we got out of that storm and finally landed into Playon Chico. I think I was very thankful to God for we made it safe and sound in one piece having into consideration that many of those small planes have crashed before. Howard and I were happy to see Berna and we exchanged greetings and we started our wonderful week overthere. Basically our mission was to supervise how things were developing among the church members, inspect the area and see what needs there were and how to improve many things in order to be more effective. There is plenty to be done, lot of discepleship meetings and leadership training needs to be done in the near now and lots of praying for freedom from Satan´s grip as well, but I believe Berna is taking the necessary steps with the guidance and support of our church to do some great and interesting stuffs there. In the time being we ministered the youth group which consisted of a few young ladies and a few young guys. We held praise and worship meetings and though we wanted to do some training with them somehow God directed Howard to do different things with them. There is still lots to do and to learn for them and I guess that´s gonna happen sometime soon but what we tried to do was to share, to transmit into their hearts some real passion for God´s things into their lives. And we talked to them, we prayed with and for them and I left Playon Chico with a strong conviction that some of those young people were transformed forever and are committed to serve in God´s work. During those days we barely saw the sun or the moon shining for it was non-stop raining and storming but the last day before we departed it cleared out a little bit and we were able to do some tourism here and there. We took this small kayak and paddled around the island to some other small private islands. Howard finished up his previously unfinished body tanning and even captured and kept a starfish agains my will. Berna showed to us his small personal island where he plan to do some fishing business to support missions and they even got some seafood they would prepare later on that day. We paddled back to the main island and we survived the trip without sinking the kayak. The previous day we decided to hike up one of the hills to pray on the higuest point of it to clear the airs and rebuke satan and so while it was raining cats and dogs Berna and I still made it to the top of the hill and we had a wonderful time praying and worshipping God. There was an amazing view from up there and it was a little bit cold. The hiking wasn´t easy either, it was muddy and slippery but it was a great group thing to make the three of us. The shower time and toilet time was a thing to never forget ever cuz it was unusual and weird but at the end of the day it was all part of the mission trip. I praise God for once again he allowed me to be part of this and because on the process I was able to streghten ties of frienship with Berna and Howard. It´s always good to have good christian friends on whom to count and be accountable. We finally left the island, say good-bye to the friendly kuna-ayalas and Berna and we took our small-old-creepy small plane back to airport in Panama city where my brother was supposed to pick us up but was rather sleeping in his confortable bed. Pray for the missions everywhere in the world. They need our support in prayers and financially. Remember, it is in your hands to do in obedience according to the Bible things that affect positively the perfect work of God.

Aquilino

2006-03-24T18:56:00.000-08:00

I visited Aquilino today and he seemed to be a´right. It was raining today so it was colder than usual. He was sitting on his rocking chair when I saw him. He was happy with the cold cake I offered to him and we chatted a little about my last trip to Chiriqui. I w¡sh I could spend more time with him.

Chiriqui Mission Trip.

2006-03-18T21:31:00.000-08:00

Once again I have been truly blessed by God by going to a mission trip in my country. Last saturday I got a call from Benjamin, my brother´s best friend´s brother inviting us over to work as interpreters for this group of american fellows from Texas. So I raised up my hand and counted myself in for the trip. So we departed from Panama city the following day very early in the morning for we knew it was gonna be a long ride to reach the high lands of Chiriqui. My friend Benjamin told me to pack all my warm cloth because we were heading to the coldest area of Chiriqui. I´ll refer to that later on here. Anyway, so the ride itself wasn´t to bad for me, cuz I spent the whole 7 hours sleeping like a King with no crown on a very unconfortable seat of an old bus but as I said, it wasn´t that bad. When we finally made it we were eager to stretch out badly our dumbed bodies but I was happy to be there safe and sound. Our brothers and sisters from the north stayed in a local hotel and I was told we (interpreters) were gonna be relocated to local homes of some church members. So the teams were formed and I was assigned to a three-person group. Pastor Larry and his son Andrew and Mr. Ron, we were assigned to a small very humble village called "Vista Linda". Houses there cannot be called as so, they are made of zincs and pieces of wood, on the inside there is no other floor but the bare soil and health condition is real bad. That was the first glimpse of the village I perceived and I knew it wasn´t gonna be an easy week. The other two interpreters were from Costa Rica, James and Jujesky and they also knew it was gonna be hard. We started right away evangelizing people using the evangicube from "Global Mission Fellowship" and we went knocking doors from house to house. The one interesting fact about americans on missions here in Panama is that people inmediately opens up their homes and themselves to hear what they have to say or share. It is unusual to have white-tall-blonde-blue eyes-people walking in their neighborhoods so as soon as they are seen, specially the children come and surround them. So this, I conclude is a wonderful way to break the ice and be able to communicate the message. As an interpreter I realized that the way you transmit the message has an extremely important role and I have been blessed with both, the missionaries and the people from the village on the process of interpreting. As we entered house after house and we shared with them and we spent time with them, a strange love started to grow inside my heart for this people and an urge to be of any help either spiritually and economically. We were able to share with as many people as we saw during that week the gospel and we held also discipleship meeting with them for a few days. An interesting fact was that while it was extremely hot and the sun was very intense, from time to time the wind would blow hard and would kick up the dry dirt and because we were sweating very bad the dirt would stick to our skin. Anyway, at the end of the week I was very bonded to many of the villagers and it was a sad thing to depart. I learned something very important though. Once couple of years ago, my friend Travis and I were walking in Panama city and we saw a homeless who was probably on drugs as well, but he approached us and Travis decided to share the gospel with him. The guy listened to us to the last word and was very happy that someone would take a time to speak to him. Afterwards he asked for something to eat and Travis said, "yes of course", so we took him to a restaurant and we bought him a meal. Later on, Travis and I talked about the experience and he told me, "I want to share the gospel to as many people as I God allow me, but the same way I am giving them spiritual food I want to be able to give them material food if needed, I want to be able to meet their needs if it is possible" That was quite a lesson for me and ever since then, when I see people like the ones I met in Chiriqui I feel like I should be of more help, yeah, it is important to evangelize all, but part of the discipleship is to help them if it is in our hands to do so. Many people however, think that it is wrong to help poor people because then they would become dependant of them and that is true to a certain point. I think we must find the middle point where we help them economically while not making them dependant but at the same time we are making sure they are growing their faith in God as His all powerful supplier and helper and not in the help of other humans. I saw how much need there is in this small village of perhaps 200 people mostly children with no proper houses, electricity, potable water, jobs and the basic things and I felt in my heart that I could bless some of them with what God has blessed me. I think that´s all about. The more you receive from God the more you should bless others. The more we put this into practice the more God is gonna bless us and so we are gonna be tools of blessings to others. We minister people with the Gospel of Salvation, but it will be incomplete if we having in our hands the material bread dont feed those who are in a worse condition than us.

Getting Ready for the After Death

2006-03-09T12:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I met a guy who accepted Jesus recently. I was interpreting the conversation between him and couple of canadian missionaries. So it turned out that he is fighting lung cancer and he and his wife were devastated until they heard about the story of Jesus and how he offers him eternal life and unconditional love. We were on a local hotel sitting on the restaurant by the pool and while it was fairly empty there were always people passing by. It was hot but this guy and the missionaries seemed not to care. So the missionaries started praying and right after it, they started the discipleship. He was very receptive and seemed to be very confortable around them. As they spoke and I interpreted I learned that he was real bad and his greatest fear was to die. The canadians began approaching the fact that when we have Jesus in our hearts there is nothing to fear about death. Even more, it´s far better to spend one day with Him in Heaven than a thousand year on the best of the Earth. This guy was assured that God was gonna take control and care of his family after he died. He was told, that God performs miracles, but it´s up to Him to determine if he is gonna grant it to us or not, for all is related to His perfect plan for each and everyone of us. But even if he didn´t heal him from the cancer, he should be in peace that things would turn for good. While I was interpreting, I thought, what kind of approach is this one? Usually I hear on the churches how the main approach is about healing and miracles from God, but hardly I hear people dealing with the death. So it was amazing to be there and experiment it. At the end our guy said "I feel such a peace right now, that I don´t care if I were to die tomorrow" He was ready for it and he knew what was to come for him....are you?

Ministring With the Language

2006-03-06T21:44:00.000-08:00

I was still under my bed sheets when Selegna rang me, I was all sleepy and grumpy and she was like, hey ya lazy, wake up, it´s time to be up. She was needing couple of interpreters for this canadian missionary group who is in Panama working with Campus Crusade for Christ. So I was like, nah I already have plans, but then in the middle of my sleepiness I realized that these are the chances God gives you to serve Him and work for him. So I inmediately changed my mind and decided to help. This was my first time working with grown-ups and it wasn´t that bad, I mean, having in mind that I have always work before with teenagers and college students and that I am still young, lol. These were nice people like most of canadians plus they were christians. So we had a great time sharing with some guests that were invited to a house and we had dinner and then they started sharing their testimonies of their life and how most of them had succeed big time in terms of money, jobs and everything, but how they felt that there was still an emptiness in their heart that wasn´t been filled and how only Jesus filled it up. 8 people commited their life to Jesus tonight and are willing to learn more and more about this new relationship with God. So after the dessert and the afterward time we had getting to know them we headed back to the hotel and we had a drink(lemonade and coke) while we were discussing about the event and what was gonna happen. Finally my sister showed up and I said good-nite to my new friends and we left.

Visiting The Unvisited

2006-03-06T21:08:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up and the first thing that hit my mind was Aquilino. Last week when I visited him, for some reason I can´t remember I asked him when was his b-day and he told me it was the 7th of march. Well, I don´t know why I thought today monday was 7th, so I bought him a nice small piece of deliciouscarrot cake and a papaya milkshake and I headed to the nursing home. So I was all happy about surprising him and stuff and when I saw him and whished him happy b-day, he was like, ohh thanks very much son, but you came a day earlier. Lol, if he could see the embarrasing expression on my face he would´ve been laughing. So he told me it was nice of me going there to spend some time with him and he was happy which ultimately made me happy. He is doing good in terms of health, only his vision impairment affects him but he´s learned how to deal with it and the thing that really impact me strong is the fact that he seems happy all the time and has always a song in his lips and when someone approaches him he always has something to say and share. I really wish his children took more time to visit him and make him feel loved and important. Yes, I can understand nowdays why in some cases we children have to take a sad decision to take grandparents and parents to nursing homes when there is no other way, but boy, one thing is to take that decision and the other thing is to just leave them there alone and not visiting them like they ought. It is so sad. Aquilino I met while I rotated on that nursing home when I was still finishin my PT studies at college and ever since then I sort of adopted him and I´ve been visiting him year after year everytime I am in town. Three weeks ago when I visited him after almost a year of being out of Panama, I started talking to him and I didn´t expected him to recognized me for he can´t see, and he surprised me. After 5 min. of talking to him, he was like, hey, I know you, you are....Josh. That was it. I got all emotional cuz last time after I spent another 8 months out of Panama and I visited him, he couldn´t recognize me and I had to tell him who I was, so I wasn´t really expecting him to recognize me, but well, that was the wonderful case. But this time, I when I leave, he won´t have to wait to long to hear from me again. My panamenian friend Sandra who I already introduce to Aquilino is gonna pay him a visit every now and then and she will take over while I am out. When I was about to leave the NH I ran into another grandpa who I met 3 years ago while I was there, and it was nice to see him still alive and feeling good. It was a very productive morning for me.

Friend´s Trip to Pedasi

2006-03-05T22:06:00.000-08:00

So I went to an amazing trip this weekend with Sandra, her family, Dina and Howard. It was quite an experience to travel deep into panamenian territory very far away from the capital. As per the schedule were were suppose to departure at around 11:00 am, but...like good panamenians, we finally left at around 3:00 pm. However, we couldn´t make it all the way to Pedasi that same day because for different reasons it got late very late and we were still waiting for Howard to show up, so we decided to stay the night somewhere nearby and so we stayed at my uncle´s yet-to-be-finished vacation house. It was extremely crazy, cuz we had to fight all night long with the hot temperature and the crazy bugs and mosquitoes everywhere around. They were like, woohoo, fresh meat for banqueting. However somehow, after a long lost battle most of us finally jumped into the world of sleeping beauties and when the temp. was just getting slightly colder and the bugs were already exhausted of bugging us and making us miserable, it was already time to wake up. We woke up early because I knew that had we woke up later we would´ve taken forever to get ready to leave, and since we were already out of schedule I was radical into making us to leave too early in the morning on friday. So we resumed our road trip to the land of our church Pastor, Hermes. As we were on our way there, I thought, what a wonderful opportunity to see new towns and lots of vegetation and raw nature. Truth is, traveling gets you wicked tired. Finally we made it and we found ourselve a very nice and cozy place to stay the following two days. First thing we did was to get a nap after the long road trip, but right after some of us got good to go, we went to visit some of the local beaches. It wasn´t that wonderful like some people said, but it was good enough to enjoy a peaceful late afternoon. The following day we decided to go to the beach very early in the morning right before the sunrise. Sunrises and sunsets are my favorites and it is always a good time for reflexion while admiring God´s marvelous and divine art creation. It wasn´t exactly what we would´ve wanted to have as a group but I guess we still enjoyed the wonder of the born of a new day. Later on that day, we went to La Playita Resort which according the knowleadgeble it is one of the best beaches around. So everyone put on their swimming suits and we headed toward this famous place among panamenian beaches. So we arrived there and surprise....there are a bunch of exotic animals roaming around like huge parrots, emus, monkies, turkies (the real beautiful ones) and a lot more of these amazing animals. The place was simply relaxing and great, expensive though. It was extremely cozy and confortable. So we unpacked everything and we were all set for a fun day at the beach. Sandra, Howard and Dina they spent the afternoon chatting and playing table games, Sandra´s mom spent the afternoon in a very relaxing hamac under the roof of a hut and so her other daughter. I wasn´t in my best mood to be hanging around however, so I decided to spend some time for myself and while I rested a lot and eventually got myself tired of resting I did some photographs around the place. Finally my friends decided it was about time to get into the water and so they did. They played and tried to learn how to swim, and afterward they made a sand castle or so they tried. Lol. Then it was time to leave and we got everything packed and in the cars and we left almost with the sunset going on on our back. I definitely owe an apologize to my friend Sandra for not hanging out with her more as I was expected to, but I really wasn´t on my best mood and for that I am really sorry and hope you forgive me. Of course I wish she didn´t remember this in the future but I guess we´ll have to deal with it.
Sorry Sandy, you are my good ol´friend and I love you a bunch.

Awesome Poem

2006-02-11T09:37:00.000-08:00

I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed.
The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made.
I am a disciple of His and I won´t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My future is secure.
I am done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees,
colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don´t
have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded. I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by Holy Spirit power.

My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal es heaven. My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, by my guide is reliable and my mission is clear.

I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary.
I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity,
or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won´t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paide up, and
preached up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus. I must give until I drop, preach until all know,
and work until He comes. And when He does come for His own,
He´ll have no problems recognizing me,

My colors will be clear.

(written by and African Pastor, found among his papers after his martyrdom)

First Car

2006-02-05T12:35:00.000-08:00

So I decided that it was about time to buy my first car. I started looking for a good looking second-hand car for my first car and after couple of days my mind was set on a two doors cavalier. My dad wasn´t all excited about the idea of a two-door car, but the one I chose had everything and almost intact. However, and here is the big thing, I found an hour later after I purchased that it has a serious problem of overheating. That we couldn´t see when checking the car because you check it and run it for 10 min. and you can´t realize about it. So, I was running with it and suddenly I see the gauges and I was chocked to see that the needle was going dangerously to the right. So I went to the mechanic and he checked it and concluded that it was a water-bomb problem. Puff... to make it worse, it is on the bottom of the engine so in order to change it, he has to remove the whole engine and other stuffs first to be able to reach it. So this is the thing, I took it back to the seller and asked him to get it fixed because it is suppose to be part of the warranty that he gave to me, but he refused and said that he rather give me the money of the car back. So unless he changes his mind within the next few days, I will be looking for another car very soon.

Back in Panama

2006-02-02T03:44:00.000-08:00

It´s great to be home once again. I set foot on Panama on the 26th of Jan. when Liberty came over to Colon. Three days earlier I was told to get my bags ready to leave, they were sending me on vacation and even though it´s not usual, I am cool with it. Usually you know at least 30 days with anticipation about your signing off the ship, but not this time. So I find myself constantly trying to change my work-thinking mode to vacation-thinking mode. This time I am spending more time in my country than the previous ocassions which is awesome, cuz I want to finish some pending business around here. I´ll be here till mid April and then back again to work.

New Year 2006

2005-12-31T22:52:00.000-08:00

So here am I. Protagonist of the ending and beggining of a new year. Mixed emotions when thinking of different things. When thinking of my home country, family and friends I get a bit sad, not that much though, perhaps because I am getting used. However I know we are togueter in the spirit of God. This is my third year in a row I spend my b-day, christmas and new year out, and only God knows how many more will come to pass. However, even though it might sound horrible, I get to keep the joy of God in my heart as I know that I am not alone at all. He fills my heart with the joy, love and tenderness only He can give and He makes me complete. The Word of God assures me that He will be with me until the last of my breaths or until He comes for his church, and in the time being, He's sent his Spirit to work wonders through my life. So that compensates the fact that I can't be with my family during these times. When thinking about the way the world celebrate the upcoming of a new year, that get me mad. It's incredible how millions of people turn out to the streets to celebrate in such a pagan way a simple pass over of a year(when they should be celebrating the victory of Jesus Christ above the death for our sake). Millions and millions of people thinking that drinking and partying and doing all kind of evil things to satisfy themselves is gonna make them feel good. And the truth is that they are wasting their lives and the time is ticking away. Yeah, the time is passing by and their opportunities to repent and get saved by the blood of the Lamb (Jesus Christ) is about to come to a halt. Very soon, all these useless celebration will mean nothing for them, cuz that's not gonna help them when the moment of truth comes. So I am standing at the uppest part of the ship watching the people dancing, getting drunk and celebrating and I could just think about the sacrifice of God toward these humanity and how it has been turned down for so long by so many. They've heard about Him, they have no excuse. They simply don't want to change. It's a matter of will rather than a matter of knowledge. But the time of truth is coming soon. I pray that us christians who have been saved by his grace stand up firmly and open our mouths and keep speaking out loud about his love and mercy and chance of repentance for all the people. And I pray that I let myself be used by God every single day of this new year, I pray that His perfect will and purpose for my life keeps running and that the sin that lives in me be decreased every day more and that the Holy Spirit that lives in me grows more and more. I have many expectatives for this new year and I pray that God bless me in an overflowing sort of way. Amen

The Spiritual Battle is Won Already

2005-12-29T23:17:00.000-08:00

The glory and the honor be to God my Lord Jesus whose love for me is as big as the inmensity of the universe. These last days has been of furious battle in the spiritual sphere around my life. I am even more convinced that I am walking in the right direction. Somewhere, sometime I read or heard that when the devil attacks you the more fierce and brutal is because you are doing something or you are living in such a way that affects him directly in the spiritual sphere. It's not easy, though, to be under constant heavy attack but at the end of the day even those situations makes you tougher and makes you mature emotionally and spiritually. praise the Lord for it. So one day after I started my training as an Assit. Mgr. I was informed that I had to report in the crew bar with the rest of team of supervisors and a couple of high ranking officers of the dept. It was my celebration for my promotion. I had to go, because I had to, there was no other way and when they asked me what I was going to drink, I simply said, "redbull" They said "are you nuts" and they ordered for me a vodka and mixed with the redbull and handled it over to me. I knew that it was gonna get tense as I said that I wasn't gonna accept it and only a redbull I would drink. One thing is to describe the face the high ranking officer put and another very different is to having seen it. They were totally offended by me firmly negative that they just turned their back to me and completely ignored me for the rest of the night. I managed to say thanks to the dept. manager for giving me the opportunity in this new position (but what I really meant was that I was thankful to God for having used him to grant me the position) and tried to present the gospel to him, but he just said, he didn't want to hear about it. So after that day things got real nasty for me, cuz as a trainee I am supposed to rotate in every single sub-department of the huge F&B dept. Nobody wanted me, nobody wanted to teach me and tutor me. The first day I started as a cook, I got myself all dressed up as a cook and started to learn with some of the cooks, and then suddenly one of the chefs, practically kicked me out of that kitchen and sent me to some other place. The next day then, I was assigned to work as a server in the exclusive restaurant of the ship and then another chef came over and practically kicked me out of there. Then in the afternoon of that day I was assigned to work in the bars and the bar manager didn't want but this time he was pressed and he accepted in a bad way. So while all this was happening I was feeling real bad emotionally and devastated but then I reminded that God put me here and he was gonna take me through in complete victory. So I had to spend a lot of time talking to him and listening in order to keep myself there and I think God hasn't abandoned me, not a second. Now, the bars. I've never drank beers, smoked cigars and liquors, so my knowledge of these thing is as much as is my knowledge of the chemical and physical properties of the sun. So in a few days, I have had to learn tons of things regarding the bar service and how to prepare cocktails and drinks and the names of all the liquors and all their differences and all the crap. Due to the fact that the manager pass every day at the bar where I am at and come over and ask me all kind of question about liquors and cigars and stuff and he expects me to know. So I have been doing a lot of memorizing lately. As I was thinking about this particular situation, I thought that many people that know me would think that it's not right for me to be selling beers and liquors and preparing drinks and stuffs. But I think that even in this kind of apparent contradiction in the christian values God has a purpose for and the question would rather be "what is it God, show it to me"

I thank God for my family support in prayers. I am so happy for I saw them today in Colon for a few hours and we shared togueter a good worthy time.

Promoted to Asst. F&B Manager

2005-12-23T21:44:00.000-08:00

Where to start? I am so overwhelmed at this point of my life to see what's going on with it. When people find out that I have a degree in PT in college they usually ask me in huge disbelief the reason why I am spending or wasting (as per them) my time on a ship away from home and friends when I could be making good money doing what I studied in college. Well, ever since the beginning of my story on the ships, I knew it was God's plan for my life. Every single step I took in order to get in here my family and I prayed for it asking for God's direction and approval. My dad used to pray "God, if it's not yours, destroy it and close the window and give peace of mind to us about it" and yet everything went smooth and I got everything I needed (which was a lot of requirements) including the money I needed to travel the first time to the ship in based in New York. So I conclude that even when it appears to the normal mind that there is something wrong with my life I know that I am in the right place at the right time, which is the time of God. Every second I am more convinced of that truth and when I tell this to people who ask I feel myself more and more confident about it. So thinking about all this, the question in my mind for the last year was, "now where?" I've been in this position for the last 2 years and I was feeling that there was nothing else for me there, but I didn't know which way to go. There were basically two main direction. On the one side there was the position of waiter. Now, in terms of money, they make good amount of it, and since I am here one of my purpose is to save as much as I can. However, I never saw myself doing that job and it's not that I have anything against waiters, but I always felt that that was not for me. On the other side there was the position of Food and Beverage Manager Asst. and even though it's sort of glamorous to be in that managment position with all the priviliges and stuff, the amount of responsabilities and stress surpasses by all the present ones I had as a lower level supervisor. And yet I wanted so bad to go forward, but had no idea where. Although everything pointed to me that my next step was F&B Magr.Asst. but I resisted the idea for so long and finally got to the conclusion that I was not gonna pursue it. If it was gonna come and be offered to me, then I would gladly accept it, perhaps in a coward way to be able to say if it went wrong that I didn't ask for it. I spoke to my dad about it couple of weeks ago and he said, well keep that in prayers and see what God has to say. So I have been doing. Almost two months ago I was having a conversation with my boss (current F&B Magr.Asst.) and I told him about my intentions to ask for it as soon as we were done with the US public health audit. He said, yeah you should. And that was it. Never talked about that with anyone else. Couple of days before he signed off for vacation he sent an email to our Dept. Manager telling him that I was up to the position and he salt and peppered it a little bit with my skills and stuffs. That same day he left we were hit by USPH and we passed and everyone was happy afterwards. Couple of days ago my other boss told me, get ready you have an interview with the manager. So I prayed about it and asked God that above all things, his will for my life was done. And I suited my best short sleeve shirt and got myself ready for it. I presented to his office and from there on God took control over my mind and mouth. I said what I was supposed to say in a very confident and wise way. The interview didn't last more than 6 minutes. He said, ok, I am recommending you to the head office to get promoted based on your supervisors strong recommendations and on your good performance. Praise the Lord, I thought and I said thanks. Few hours ago, as I started to get ready for work my roomie came in and handled me a piece of paper with an email from the manager saying that I was promoted starting inmediately from the next day (today). So there are no words to express how happy I feel today and how grateful I feel toward God who hasn't given upon me and continuesly gives me from his grace and mercy. Recently I have discovered the power of the knees. When you kneel down to pray you basically are telling God, you know what, I humble myself to the dirt and ask for your way and blessings over my life. All the Glory and Honor to the King of Kings, Lord of Lords and my Saviour who is in control of my life. Amen.

God is in Control

2005-12-21T23:11:00.000-08:00

My only concern I had when I was told I was being transferred to M/S Liberty was that I knew it was gonna be very hard to get in my hands the guitar I bought on ebay a week before the news; specially because when I asked to the ship's office personel they told me that they would not mail anything to europe. So it's being almost 3 months since I purchased my guitar and finally after a lot of emails and struggle they sent it to me. I kind of lost hope to get it and if it was to come I thought it might be broken or something. So when the office personel of this ship told me that my guitar had arrived I was anxious and it's not that I hadn't pray that God send it safely, but still I was still doubtful. Big box. I thought, well, at least it's still protected. I took it, came into my cabin, looked at it for a while, still in some kind of disbelief and then thanked God for it. I took a couple of pictures of the unopened box for the record and then started ripping apart the box and everything until I got in my hand my so awaited guitar. Took some more pictures and a small video clip and then started playing it. It is the very first guitar I've ever bought myself with my own money and I can't help but to think that God is good. It has a great sound plus I can plug it into a speaker system. So this last couple of days, I've been practicing, playing and singing a lot. It's really good. I thought I was gonna get it as my b-day present, but instead I got it as my own christmas present. Blessed be the Lord for He had it all sort it out since the beginning.

On the good note of the day, couple of hours ago, God gave me the opportunity to share my faith with a friend. I had been praying for it for a while now, and today God crossed our ways and so I talked to him and presented to him the gospel. I recently read a book of apologetic by Josh MacDowell and I learned a lot about all the legal and historic evidence of Jesus' resurrection from the death and these powerful tools I got to use today with my friend. I think that we christians have to be prepared at all time as the apostol Paul said to present defense of our faith, not like if we were believing blindly but with a strong conviction of our faith in Christ. I believe strongly that it is by faith in Christ and not by deeds that we come to be saved, but I believe that such faith has to be knowleadable and full of wisdom in order to be able to present our testimony in a way that people get out of their confusion and world of lies. I've been reading the book of Acts these last days and to me, it is quite amazing to read how Paul had always a word of wisdom to tell. He was crystal clear about the message he was delivering plus he was wired constantly with God so the Spirit of God was putting in him what he had to say. Thanks God for the blessings upon my life.

They Came Finally

2005-12-19T00:37:00.000-08:00

After finally a long period of time the so promised and so waited visit of US public health department came to pass. And it was a huge headache for everyone in the department, cuz we were almost 100% sure that they would come as soon as we landed in America after our european season. But they didn't. The sense of urgency from the team had decreased seriously and people were getting really psicologically tired about the whole thing. It was an hectic morning, right after the announcement over the PA system voicing that they were onboard, everyone started running up and down and around, panic everywhere, yelling and screaming and cursing and a general stress filling the air. I think that over the time I have come to handle better the stress under this particular circumstance. The first 3 or 4 times it was a very shocking experience to me and it would make me feel down and overwhelmed. However this time, I think I did a better job. I don't feel myself emotionally, psicologically and spiritualy drained and exhausted to the point where I would not give a sock about everything the following days. I think I am maturing in this particular area of my life. Finally after the good inspector came and inspected my areas and he left I was allowed to finish my shift and I went for a good well-deserved rest. I was physically exhausted though, but happy and satisfied. Later on I found out that we passed with 99%. The dept. manager was dissapointed cuz he would've wanted us to score the perfect score, specially because this is a brand new ship, but didn't happen. Honestly, I don't care a bit how much the score was, as long as we pass, scores don't make me sleepless.

On the other note of the week, these days I've been struggling seriously with the well-doing of my spiritual life. It hasn't gone as smooth as I would like and to me it seems like I am loosing more than winning my daily spiritual battles. I can't help but to feel terrible and disappointed toward myself. I think it is not even more about the fact that makes me feel vulnerable to the enemy attacks or sad and unhappy but the fact that I am not complying with the mission God has given to me and nothing else fills me with such terror as to know that I am failing to comply with the purpose assigned to me since before of the creation of the world, when God chose me and designed his perfect plan for my life. To realized that the time is passing or flying and I am not sharing and praying enough to the people that surrounds me about his sacrifice in the cross for them to be saved just make me feel as unhappy as a man can get. I keep praying that God helps me find a way to change all this.

Visit to Colon, Panama

2005-12-02T05:02:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered why is it that the best days ever in your life, you get only to live from time to time? While my wondering is not far from the reality that when you have Christ in your heart and you walk in obedience and in victory, everyday would be "the best day ever". However my line of thinking here refers to the God-given emotional feelings when you enjoy something in particular so much that drive you to the conclusion that certain day was just great, yet not a ordinary day.

I am really happy and joyful for I got to meet part of my family yesterday. As I wrote before, part of the wondeful itinerary of this ship, includes Panama. So my parents came over to visit the ship and to spend some nice time together after a little more than 6 months of me being out of town. So I went off the ship at 8:00 am and called mom, and she said they were delayed, but they were on their way. While waiting out there in the pier, I ran into my friend who used to work in the ships also but not anymore, and we talked about the old times. Finally my parents and my sister arrived and we started our way into the ship. We went to my cabin and talked about everything and then we started to walk around the ship, trying to show them as much as I could, in our limited period of time. My sister shooting pictures everywhere she turned, guess she is gonna do some bragging about them with her friends at college. And so we spent a nice end-of-the morning and beggining of the afternoon on the ship and then we went out for lunch. It was so much good to see them and be seen. They loved so much the ship and its interior. One remarkable thing was that most of the crew members, some of them which I don't even know, went out of their way to politely welcome and show a huge smile toward my family. That I loved it and am thanked to them. Well, I guess it'll be till next month when we come to Panama again, that I will be seeing them again.

White River Rafting Experience in Costa Rica

2005-11-30T23:37:00.000-08:00

It was such an awesome experience I had with the rafting thing. These last weeks, I've been feeling myself like wanting to do some xtreme sports. So my boss (Shaun) and my friend Alexander planned on going to this tour that was being offered for a nice price to the crew. As soon as I finished my shift at 10 am I changed clothes and met met my friends on the bus. We were so excited about it, and the tourist guy said we were lucky for the last 2 or 3 weeks it had been raining cats and dogs non-stop, but the last 2 days it had been a wonderful sunny day. So with this in mind, we set our mind to get some great fun. The bus trip from the ship to the starting point was boring, probably an hour and half, but as soon as we got a glimpse of the rough river from the bridge we got into the mood. So we were given the basic instructions of how to handle and paddle and stuff, and into the water we went. It was probably 50 of us crew members in groups of 5 to 8 in a raft. It wasn't really that rough, but it was so much fun. We spinned around on the toughest parts and we did a lot of water splashing to the other fellows, to the point we got to be known as the annoying team, as we harrased so much the other guys, splashing them and pulling them down from the raft into the river. My first time, and I think I want to do it again, but next time in a toughest river. By the way, the name of this famous river for the fans of rafting is "Reventazon River", which meanns, "violently tear apart", and that because this river change its course very frequently dragging whatever it finds on its way. So right after we finished up, we were driven to the restaurant of the owner of this small touristic company and we had some real nice caribbean food. So much alike what I eat in my own home country, if not the same. So I felt like at home. And in a joke manner, I tolk my friends...."I can smell it", and they asked, what?, I said, I can smell already my country. We were 2 hours drive from the frontier to Panama. So at this moment we are sailing to Colon, Panama, and I will be so glad to see my family who are coming onboard. Looking forward so much to it.

Alfa Team, Alfa Team

2005-11-30T03:03:00.000-08:00

One of the main or I would rather say, the biggest source of disaster on any ship is called "fire", and because that is a constant reality, there have been developed international safety regulations that all the major and not so major companies that owns ships have to follow, or otherwise they are not allowed to set sail. Anyway, all these things and more we have to hear over and over again and we do all sort of drills like for example, fire drills, man overboard drills, bomb search drills, medical disaster drills among others. However one thing is to know about them in theory, and another very different is to deal with it in reality. Yesterday in the morning, there was a major fire in one of my areas of supervision in one of the many kitchens. By the time I learned about it, it was already controlled. My eyes didn't give credit to what I saw and how the pantry was afterwards the fire was extinguished. How did it happened? was my first question. I was very nervous, because had it been a human mistake then many heads would roll over and mine could be among those. Almost nobody realized about the whole event, although it is located in a very busy section where all the guest pass, the area was blocked by security and so there was no panic at all. Right after all the ship top deck officers, and engine officers left the area we started the cleaning of the area and then that was it for me as I left cuz my shift was long pass over. I went to my cabin and I was stressed out and worry, because in this kind of situation, always, someone have to pay even if it's not the responsible of the incident. So I prayed and I put all the investigation process in the hands of God and asked for protection against any injustice and wrong doing from the investigators. And to my surprise I slept peaceful. After all, God heard my prayers and answered me. Apparently, someone left a plastic item on top of the bread toaster and when the cook came in the morning, he turned it on to start toasting bread, but didn't remove the plastic glass rack, and left the area for some time, and when he came back the whole area was on fire. Now, he said he didn't see that rack there when he switched on the toaster, and the bar cleaner who also works there, said he saw it since the day before lying on top of it. And to be as honest as possible with myself and God, I am not completely sure if I saw the rack lying on top of the toaster. And there is my concern, cuz as one of the supervisors on duty of that area, the logic is that I should've removed it had I saw it. But then again, I can't remember clearly if I saw it or not. Anyway, the two guys on the spot at the moment are the cook and the bar cleaner who work there. And after all, it was a shocking experience to pass through the event of a fire onboard.

Day at the Beach

2005-11-28T21:48:00.000-08:00

What a weird thing, I realized that the reason to this heavy headache I got early in the morning today was due to the fact that I hadn't drink coffee during the night. What I monster of headache was it. I had to go to bed for an hour just to learn that it didn't help. So I think I finally got addicted to it. During my days of college I used to drink a lot of coffee along with coke to keep myself awake during the nights of study, but right after those nights, I wouldn't drink any and nothing would happen. Many years have passed since my college days are over and now I find myself drinking coffee again to keep myself awake during my PM shift. Around 8:00 in the morning it hit me, that it could have been the lack of coffee drinking that caused this annoying feeling. I got upset, cuz I couldn't believe this was happening, lol, so I went for a cup of cappuchino and the headache began to decrease.

Anyway, on the good note of the day, today I went to the beach (Costa Maya, Mexico) and it was so relaxing to lay down under a big umbrella and feel the tropical wind blow from one place to another. I went with my friend from Brazil and we met there 5 more brazilian gals. So after forcing myself to pay close attention to their conversatinon, I think I got to understand portugese a bit. What really puzzle me is the fact that portuguese, italian, and romanian parlant people can easily understand spanish and yet I can't understand none of their languages. I wonder why. Anyway, we spend couple of hour there chatting about everything and then we went for lunch to this popular mexican restaurant. Nothing fancy of course, located by the beach side, more of a hut than a proper brick building. We had fry fish a la onion style. It was delicious. By the time I came back to the ship I had only 5 hours left to sleep, so know I feel very sleepy, but I don't complain. It was a good relaxing day.

To my Friend, Alexis.

2005-11-26T08:40:00.000-08:00

Today, I am kind of sad. My good friend Alexis is leaving the ship. He is being transferred to Carnival Conquest. Although, I think he is saddest than me, cuz he won't get to see his wife this week. This ship is going to our beautiful, beloved and so missed country this coming thursday, and he was so looking forward to see his wife and some friends. But, then again, this is the way things work in this company. One day you are here, the next day, you are told you are leaving in a few days, and that's final. We were talking about it, and we agreed that we couldn't understand the reason and we concluded that God has a purpose for everything that we go through. So I reassured to him, that God is taking care of his life and is leading him through the right path. God's plan for our lives is perfect, free of error. So whatever it is, he will show it to us and it'd be the right thing to do.

To My Beloved Dad

2005-11-19T03:00:00.000-08:00

So I have these team members peruvians guys under my supervision and I have to fight with them every single day, to make them work the way they should be working. And every day I have to tell them the very same thing that I've been telling them since over a month. And everyday they complain and give me all sort of attitude. And everyday I am getting tire and tire of having to deal with them. And everyday I am reminded by my superiors that we can not change them to other section until we pass USPH. So I am so tire, that I don't even want to ask them to do anything, cuz I know forehand what's gonna be the result. So a while ago, I was thinking seriously about my sad condition, and suddenly a thought hit my memory. Years ago, many years ago in fact, when I was still in elementary and high school, my Dad had to wake us up (me and Daniel, my brother) and it was such a struggle. Every single day, my dad used to come at 4:45 AM to give us a wake up call. He would come first time, and would lay his hands over my head and pray out loud for God blessings for my life, and then he would talk to me in a sweet way, the way a loving dad would do to his beloved son. He would say, "porotito" it's time to wake up and he would tease me and tickle me until I got upset and ask him not very politely to leave me alone. So he would leave the room and come back 10 min. later kind of upset to find me still under my covers. So he'd tell me, hey wake up, it's late already. To come back 5 min. later with the well remembered belt to beat me when finding that I was still lying asleep. So this story was so familiar to my dad, not only with me, but with Daniel, and Ana (my sister). There would be times that my dad would get so hopeless that he would just not wake us up at all for days, cuz he felt that it was useless and he was wicked tired of having to go through this annoying ritual everysingle day for 12 years. And as I was remembering this, I got emotioned, cuz first of all, I felt guilty for giving my dear dad a hard time, and at the same time I felt joy in my heart, cuz from these small things early in your lifetime, you learn from and you get to use it in the future as a efective tool. My Dad was so patient and is still a patient man of God, and that I am still in the process to learn it. While all these thoughts came to me, I thanked God for allowing me to have a wonderful dad who never gave up on me. He is still a very powerful source of inspiration for my spiritual life and though he is very far away from be perfect he hasn't stop trying to set in his own life the example he wants for his children to follow.

I love you so much Dad.

Tortola, British Virgin Islands

2005-11-18T20:42:00.000-08:00

So yesterday we went to the port or call of Tortola, in the caribbean. And the day before we went to Antigua also a colony of England. Out of those two places I'd never been before, I liked the most Tortola, maybe because I went on a tour, so I got to see more than I did of Antigua. Anyway, a friend that had been there before, told me that the view from the distance when the ship is still approaching is amazing. So early in the morning like around at 5:30 AM I went to the uppest part of the ship with my camara and waited for the sunrise to illuminate the whole conglomerate of islands that conforms Tortola. It was awesome. Right after the sunrise ended up and the rays of sunlight were on their fullest, I appreciated the different mountains all surrounded by dark green thick jungle. So many wealthy houses emerged here and there in the different altitudes of the mountains. The coral reefs all around the islands gave the sea a lightly green-skyblue color to the sea, making the whole scenery the classical enjoyable tropical island. To my surprise, all that was nothing compared to the beauty of the view seen from the top of the mountains. No wonder why they call these islands, Virgin Islands. It's so natural, barely you see the touch of humans, namely, big buildings and contamination. I has this strong feeling of undiscovered land. I took this all four wheels truck touristic bus that took us through the place, all the way up to the top of the mountains and then down to the other side of the main island to the beautiful Cape Beach. From up there, you could see dozens of small islands, some of them close, some other in the far distance. The blue sky and the funny color of the sea plus the strong wind blowing all over, just made me wish I could stay there a weekend and enjoy myself. And then...back to reality, back to the ship, back to work.

My First Photo Camara

2005-11-16T22:40:00.000-08:00

Well, it is not a secret to my friends and family that among the things I love, photography is on the top 5. If there is something that brings joy to my life is to see an image of something (a friend's face expression, a landscape of a place I visited in the past, a cityscape, a sunrise or sunset, etc) I saw in the past that impressed me and I got it recorded for me and anyone else to see in the near or far future. And I've always felt that way ever since I was a little kid. The other day I was checking my camara equipment (which is really nothing that fancy and pro as yet) and I felt blessed, because just 3 years ago all my equipment used to be a 5.25 dollars disposable camera. And it was that way for the last 7 years. My parents couldn't afford not even a cheap camara for me to learn properly and develope what I consider a gift from God. And yet, I remember that the first camera I holded that was mine was when I was probably 9 years old. It was this real economic, almost a toy camera my parents bought to me as a b-day present. It was a 110 mm or so format of camara, the one with the horizontal type of film (real old stuff, I haven't seen that kind of model anymore). Anyway it was a bright yellow camera that I remember I enjoyed it for a good while and for some reason I can't remember what happened to it. My dad used to use a Pentax pro camara (I call it brontosaurius), when he was in high school, which he still have somewhere in the house, but ever since I have memory it is broken. So basically, this has been my story concerning my interest in photography. God first, I am planning to aquire soon a semi-pro digital SLR and a medium format film SLR camera. It's not like a feel that I want to dedicate my life to do photography as a way of a living, it's rather something personal in which I feel a deep joy in my heart when doing it and ultimately it glorifies God for the joy of all people. And that I believe is part of the particular purpose God has for my life and I want to be part of it fully.

Carnival Liberty Trasatlantic Crossing

2005-11-13T23:27:00.000-08:00

Well after finishing the season of Carnival Liberty in europe, the travel to America for the first time began. It was gonna be a 16 days crossing to finally arrive into mainland US Florida. So we departed from Civitevechia, Rome with the passangers of the trasatlantic trip and arrived two days later into Barcelona for the last time among other things to pick up the food supplies and all sort of supplies needed for the long crossing. What nobody expected was that there was a strike by the fishermen in Barcelona because of the high prices of oil, so they blocked the way to the different ports with their small boats and didn't allowed any cruise ship and cargo ship to dock into Barcelona. So we went instead to "La Palma de Mallorca", a beautiful tropical island of Spain and spent the day there. Me and some of my panamenian friends went out and visited this fortress that belongs to perhaps 700 years ago and among the main things to see, there was this cathedral that took 600 years to build. It was huge and georgous. So we walked and watched the stores for couple of hours and then I went inside the cathedral with Nuris. Definitely I walked way back in the time, the moment I stepped inside that building. It was a shame I didn't had with me my tripod for my camara, so almost all the pictures I managed to take are blurred because of the very dimmed light there. Almost everything inside was pure, real aged gold. After some more walking and photography session we went back to the ship and said good-bye to Mallorca. So next day finally we arrived and we were allowed to dock in Barcelona late in that afternoon, so we could load up all our supplies. It was a bummer for the guests who couldn't enjoy of Barcelona, as all the touristics trips were cancelled due to the late time we were allowed out of the ship. Couple of days later we arrived into the excellent place of Malaga, Spain. I went out with my old friend from Peru and some others who dissapeard after we hit downtown. Malaga is a very old place. It has probably more than two thousands years. As a matter of fact, it was conquered first by the Muslims after a long battle and was inhabited by the arabs for a long while. And the evidence that proves it, you can see it on the castle and fortress that is on the top of the highest hill of Malaga. There on the top there is a magestic Castle built by the muslim arabs probably more than 1500 years ago. It is made of stone above stone. Huge is not enough to describe how big it is. There are coconut palm trees inside and outside and sand everywhere. It was just like if you were walking suddenly into the middle east, where sand, palm trees and stone castles are common of their past history. So once again me and my friends walked way back into the time of the human history while walking inside the walls of that Castle. The funny thing about it was that, in order to get there, either you walked or you took a 90 euro cent bus. So my friend who was tired of spending money during the european season, decided for us to walk up the hill (we didnt know it was only 90 cents until we reached the top of the hill). My friend, you have no idea, how high was that hill. It was really high. It was a real steep upway. By the time we reached the top I was steping on my draging tongue. But it worthed. It was a must-to-see place. Right after we spent some time in the museum upthere and some pictures we started our way down which in turn was pleasent and nice. (I wonder why) Anyway, after so much physical stress we went back to the ship, of course right after we made a few buyings and then right to take a shower and bed. It was an exhaustive day. So then one more day at sea and then we reached the excellent beautiful and colorful island of Funchal, Madeira that belongs to Portugal. I was amazed to know that such island is real far away from mainland continent. It is practically in the middle of nowhere. But the people there is amazing. Portuguese people and a bunch of other european citizens living in that so away from mainland island, where probably potable water is more expensive than a beer. I went out with my friend Alexis and we took this touristic sightseeing bus that took us all over the interesting and historic places of the island and then took us to a very high point of the mountain where we were delighted to see such an amazing view of that side of the island plus the 3 cruise ship docked on the port that at such altitude rather looked like toys. Of course I didn's spare the memory of my camera. After the 2 hours tour we went to get some souvenirs and then tried an apple pie from mac donald which in turn was real good. Now you could feel that you were not in europe zone anymore, as the hot temperatures were typical of the caribbean. And then 5 days at sea on our way to the caribbean island of St. Marteen. Each of those 5 sea days some got to sleep an hour extra and some of us got to work an hour extra, as we had to put our watches an hour back to adjust to the international zone time. I didnt got off in St. Marteen, cuz I had already been there in the past plus the heat is real intense there. So instead I decided to take a good rest. And finally after 2 more days we arrived to Miami. Continental american territory. There was a party on the ship with celebrities and the big boys of the company and all that crap and then next day we sailed to our new home port, Ft. Lauderdele, Florida from which we are sailing to San Juan, Puerto Rico and then other caribbean countries. I am really looking forward to go in San Juan, cuz there is a friend of mine from Panama, that is living there now. So I am excited about it.

No more of It

2005-10-25T02:40:00.000-07:00

Once I read the statement of a famous pianist who said "when I don't practice for a day at the end of it I'll feel it; when I don't practice for three days my family and closer friends will notice it; when I don't practice for a week my audience on the concert will be dissappointed". I guess this can apply easily in the spiritual sphere. I've to recognize that for the last 5 days or so, I haven't got enough time to spend with Dad and of course the reasons is that I weas so tired, after work going outside, my strenght got drained. I've barely touched my Bible and my prayer time hasn't been of the best quality. So now I feel like unprotected and vulnerable to the devil attactks, I get depressed easily and closed in myself. It's been quite a while since last time I fell into this situation and I ask myself, why would I got into it knowing that the feeling is really no good. But I guess that it is a good time to ask for forgiveness and get the Lord to help me out. In the past I remember that when this happened I used to say "you know what, it is useless for I'll fall down again, so why to bother and try again?" That was a lie satan used very good on me, however today, I decided that I am not going to be down and depressed and guilty one more day. I take God's promises that whenever I fall He will lift me up and take me by my right hand and lead me back to the righteous path, I decide to put my tribulation and stress on his able hands, and let him guide me. It is really interesting to notice that when you are walking in God's will and righteousness, problems seem like nothing compared to Him and your holy attitude makes you pass through withouh fear, sadness or angriness but rather with happiness and joy. However, when walking out of God's perfect will even the smallest of the problems overwhelms me and make me doubt big time. But now I take the decision of no more of it. I am children of God, He loves me and He is willing to bring me back into his joy and peace for his glory and blessing of all the people. AMEN.

...Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin. Romans 8:1

...Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justify. Who is he that condems? Christ Jesus who died - more than that, who was raised to life, is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Romans 9:33

Monaco, France.

2005-10-22T02:56:00.000-07:00

It took us a 70 euro dollar-one hour-ride to get to this beatiful city. During the way there, I was wondering if it would worth the money I had pay for the ride, but the answer is, it worthed it. The city itself is built on the side of a steep rocky mountain, which is interesting to me cuz it must have taken dozens of years to built it on such hard rocky formations. There you get to see the castles and imperial palaces of former kings and princess and they are just amazing and different from the ones I saw in Italy and Spain.

It was a good trip, with the exception of the 9 dollars I would have to pay for a bottle of coke that is worthed 25 cents in my country. I mean, I expected to be expensive, specially because it was a restaurant next to MonteCarlo casino, but that....that blowed my mind. It was funny cuz my friends bought a coke, and expresso and a chocolate and when the bill came, they were in shock cuz it was 27 dollars. Apparently they have not learned the lesson after all this months being in europe.

On our way back we stopped by the famous MonteCarlo casino where only rich people get to go in and play. Then we ran the Formula I pathway that we see on TV...it was really thin streets where those extremely high-speed racing cars goes through.

Messina, Sicily Italy

2005-10-19T22:31:00.000-07:00

Who haven't heard of Sicily? I guess we all have heard of it because in the early-last century italo-american movies, many of the gangster claimed to had come from Sicily. Anyway, Messina is at the farest northern corner of the island which faces mainland Italy. It is really close from mainland, in the night you can actually see both lands from the middle of the sea, you see the citylights at both sides.

I went out with Nuris and Alexis both from my beautiful country and so we were ready to do some serious hiking. Messina is located to the falling side of a huge hill. This city caught my attention particularly because there was as in any other italian and spaniard city lots of catholic cathedral and churches, but there in Messina there was one in each block. Most of them built centuries ago, which tells me about how religious were and still are these people. So we walked to this one which is almost at the top of the hill and on the way we saw so much history written on the stone walls of the aging buildings. Everywhere you looked around told a story about the past and their inhabitants. Finally we reached the top and the view was great, it worthed the long hiking. We took more pictures, talked about trivialities and then started our way down t he hill. We walked through many streets, checking the stores for souvenirs and watching the locals carrying their normal lives, who were very used to the presence of foreigns like us. Then we went to this famous ice cream shop and we delighted ourselves with a nice cold ice cream after a lot of physical excersice.

Venice, Italy

2005-10-17T01:13:00.000-07:00

So once again God gave me the opportunity to visit this amazing italian city. This time I went with Milkana my friend from Bulgaria. We decided to go early in the morning, because she had to work afternoon. It was extremely cold of course, so we were under heavy coats. We took this ridiculous 10 euro dollars water taxi to Saint Marcus Square, a must-to-go place in Venice. We got there and the first thing you see when you get off the small water taxi is over a hundred black gondolas parked because it is too early for them to be crowding the venetians water-ways. Anyway, you'd think that most of the tourists come to see the centuries-old-cathedral of Saint Marcus and admire the panorama and do some shopping in the area, but make no mistake, most of them come to see the thousands and thousands of pigeosn that make their living out there. If you have something to offer to them like corn or bread crumbles they will fearless come to you by the dozens and step on your head, arms, shoulders even your back, all over your body. It was totally a new sensation for anyone to have all these birds revolving their wings around your face and everywhere. But it was extremely cool. Right after that, Milkana and I walked some streets and admired some shopping stores on the tiny streets surrounded by tall brick buildings. Took some more pictures and went for a nice hot cappuccino. Most expensive cappuccino I've ever drank, more than 6 us $, it was a robbery, but in any case, what will you do? it's not like you are drinking cappuccino in any other common city. So it worthed it. And it came really good because we were freezing. Anyway, we chatted there for a while and I shared with my friend a little about my life and what is God doing in it. I am praying for her that she one day accepts Jesus as her saviour and be saved. It was a very pleasent early in the morning trip.

Duvrovnik, Croatia

2005-10-15T00:33:00.000-07:00

The first glimpse I caught of it, left me in awe (it was lighted by a very dim light). It was one of the most stunning views I've ever seen. The ship docked right at the end of a huge river that ran in the middle of two magestic massive mountains. There was a small quited colorful town at the distance lying at the middle section of the left mountain. It was quite and small smoke columns rose from the foof to some of the small houses in the distance as the temperature was really cold and the cold breeze ran from the east. And then one of my favorite God's gift came over; "the sunrise" came through the peak of the far end of the mountains illuminating first the clouds and giving to them a soft reddish color and then the light becoming greater and greater. Suddenly all I felt was joy in my hear so I worshipped my God for allowing my eyes to see once again such a beautiful scenery. His creation is so perfect and to think that we forfeited the right to rule over it because Adam disobeyed God back in the very beginning giving away the right to Satan. However our hope for those of us who believe in Jesus Christ is that one day, not to far we will rule over the new Earth and there will be no more iniquity, sin, sadness, selfishness, poverty, sickness, wickedness, etc...

Anyway, I went out with my friend Alexis. We walked all the way to the main touristic attraction and on the way we saw some amazing views, mostly buildings that belongs to the end of 1800. It's exquisit architectonic added to the feeling of walking, back in the time was just to much. I must have snapped hundreds of pictures on this trip. So finally we got into a really old castle. It was a city itself and really big in fact. We walked inside the city surrounded by huge walls and got to see a lots of endless small streets that ran up and down the hills. It was all full of small business and shops and restaurants. It was not expensive as we though it could be probably because they are not using euro dollars yet, so my euro dollars worth a lot compared to their national currency "kunas". Alexis and I even tried a local fruit which its name we never got to understand. There was this nice senior lady in the middle of the main square selling these fruits we were curious about, so we got closer to her only to find that she didn't speak any english at all, and she wouldn't stop explaining in her croatian to us about the fruit, even though we were signaling to her that we couldn't understand none, so she finally gave up and gave to us one of the fruits that we tried and it was real good. I gave to her some euro coins and using body language we politely said good-bye to the lady. Afterwards, we went to this bakery shop because from the distance we could smell an exquisite aroma of fresh baked bread, so we went in and tried some of the local bread, it was good also. It was such a nice day at Duvrovnik, Croatia. Real wonderful people, very friendly and open. I am looking forward to come back someday.

Naples, Italy

2005-10-14T23:39:00.001-07:00

I didn't get to see this place as I'd liked, cuz I didn't found anyone to go with to the city of Pompey. It was like an hour and half away in train, in bus and walking, and if I got lost, for sure I would've missed the ship. Anyway, I made my research and found that Pompey is or was a city real old way before Christ time, so we are talking of at least 2,500 years ago. My friends who went there, said it was atonishing to see the ruins of such an old city. The story tells that that city got destroyed by the eruption of a vulcano, which its name just escaped from my mind. The whole city and its inhabitants were covered by the flaming and raging fire and ashes of that vulcano. And honestly I think it was a punish from God to that people, cuz history tells and the encriptions in the walls of those ruins show so much perversion and sin.

Cannes, France.

2005-10-11T23:28:00.000-07:00

There is not to much to say about the city. It is mostly a shopping center full of fashion clothes stores by international designers. I thought it was very similar to Hollywood, CA, as you can get to see famous people chatting over a cup of coffee or drink in many of the hundred of cozy and luxurious restaurant along the beach side. There are two things that called my attention, one is that french people are very serious about their pets. Almost everyone on the crowded street at 5:00 pm had at least one of those tiny curious, cute pet dogs. They walk them almost everywhere they go. And the other thing is that french people are not very friendly people, or at least toward foreigns (that was my impresion), which was really disappointing. And to top if off, there was a unconfortable situation that me, my friend from bulgaria and south africa had to go through. We tried to have dinner in two different restaurants where the owner wouldn't allow us in. I perceived right away that we were object of some kind of racism. Who would think that after so much of it in the past of our world history, still you have to see and live this. I read about it in history books, when I was in school, but never actually lived it, until then. And honestly it didnt affected me as you'd think, cuz I have very clear who I am in Christ and my identity and confidence is completely secured in him, but still it wasn't nice. Anyway, this unconfortable experience won't stop me to go to Monaco next week. They say it is a kind of a place.

Barcelona, Spain.

2005-10-10T17:10:00.000-07:00

When I heard for the first time, that I'd get to see Barcelona, I got excited, for I thought I will be able to see with my own eyes Bacerlona Football Club stadium "Nou Camp". Indeed it is my favorite soccer team and I like them better than Real Madrid with all their international stars that do not know how to play as a coordinate team. So if everything goes smooth, next week I'll go there. In the time being, I was given a few hours today in Barcelona and I went out for my first time in Spain. As in any new place I get to go, I started asking for directions and interesting places to go. So they told me to visit "La Sagrada Familia" which is a catholic cathedral. It is still under construction and it's due in 25 years from now. It took me 30 minutes by train in which I got lost on my way there, but made it safely. It is amazing, in my english vocabulary I can't find a word to describe how atonishing it is. Antonio Gaudi which was the architect who designed it is a genious. It is a gothic architecture, it is brilliant the way he designed and built it. He died somewhere on the first decade or so of last century but still they venerate this architect for his brilliant designs all around europe. I didn't get to go inside the building for many reasons though, however I was satisfied with the exterior and I took a bunch of pictures. Well, after enjoying the view I took my train back and of course I got myself lost once more but finally made it to where I took the train. Barcelona is a great place to visit and admire, beautiful city, landscape and history.

Walking by Faith

2005-10-07T14:56:00.000-07:00

These past days have been challenging I'd say. As I said before this new ship I am in is one of the biggest ships ever built in the world and as so it is beautiful, modern, extremely confortable and cozy, but at the same time there is so much work, that seems endless. This ship is a state of the art floating resort with everything you can imagine and more. Even for us crew members it has commodities that previous ships don't have....I even have a small refrigerator in my cabin, which is really convenient for many reasons. However the job is overwhelming me, there is so much to do and so much things to look after and so much hard time dealing with the waiters, cooks and others that I've found myself thinking more than I'd admit about quiting and just forgetting about all this nonsense. But then again, God takes me into his able hands and give me the peace and joy I need for that particular day; so I've been surviving day by day by his amazing grace that holds me still and steady. It is not easy to give up your daily emotions, feelings and will to God, because we want to be in full control and do things our way, but God says that he already won each and every battle for us and that we must rest in him and be victorious and glorify him with the way we live and enjoy him above all things. So today, I prayed early in the morning, God take it all, take my worries, take my decisions-to-be taken for the day, take my stress, and turn it for good. Yesterday as I was still kind of down and overwhelmed, I met couple of christian men of God that are willing to support me in their prayers and have fellowship, and that is nothing else but God providing. Some years ago, I read that when you are in most need, God sends you people that are more needful than you so that you can minister them and be a blessing to them...and when you are a blessing to others, you feel good, because you know, you are just being used by God even in a moment that you sort of feel bad. And that is what just happened yesterday. I ran into one guy I met couple of years ago and is a good friend to me. So we were talking yesterday and today and I've been talking to him, and God is opening him up and softening is heart so that the message of Salavation comes through. So, basically these things are being going on with my life and I am nothing but grateful to God, who knows everything and has something great for those who believe in Him and trust him and walk rightously. I read the other day about Abram calling and it is amazing how he just followed God because he had faith that he was going to show him what God promised, and he left everything behind, parents, country, properties because he was believing and trusting God, and even though he lived as a pilgrim in a country to be given by God to his decendants, meaning to say, that he didn't see his promised fullfilled, he trusted God and God called him "my friend". And that is faith, to walk in accordance to God waiting for something you at the moment cannot see, but believe that it'll come. I want to be called "his friend", so help me God to do what I have to do and to follow him as He expects from me.

Short sightseeing in Venice

2005-10-04T23:37:00.000-07:00

So first thing I do is to figure out where is my ship (Liberty). "It hasn't come yet", they said in their broken spanglish, "It'll come at 2:00 Pm. So I decided to take a small tour myself and found my way through the streets until I found the unique city in the world that has boats on water as a way of transporting instead of cars and buses on solid paviment. It is definitely amazing to see all those boats coming and going through the small waterways among old buildings that belongs to half century ago or so. I was breathless to see such a wonder and yet dissappointed to learn that everything is really expensive. You want to drink a coffe, you can get charged 7 euro a cup which will be more in US currency. So, only see, not buy is my rule. I walked a whole lot and took a lot of pictures. There were so many tourists from all over the world and a lot of italians as well. Very friendly people I'd say, contrary to the impression I had about them.

Safe and Sound Trip to Venice Italy

2005-10-04T22:26:00.000-07:00

At this point of the day, I am as tired as a the turtle who raced 100 miles. It is been almost 30 hours since I last got rest. In this side of the world I am 6 hours ahead of Panama and it is crazy. I departed from philadelphia at 6:00 pm and it was getting dark as the night fell down, and at about 12:00 am ET time, while we were flying, the sun rose. It was suddenly 6:00 am. Anyway, I am just glad I made it safe, with all these recently news about so many airplanes crashes plus the fact this is the first time I travel to Europe (very long flight) got me all worried about. The plane landed at Marco Polo's Int. airport in Venice and someone picked me up and took me to the ship terminal. On the way I was so eager to see what Italy had to offer to my eyes and at the begginning it was quite dissapointing cuz all I saw was really tiny narrow streets tipically of old cities in Europe and a lot of green fields around. At this point all I thought about was, "this could have been a battlefield during World War II" cuz it looked like those scenes in Band of Brothers; finally after a short car trip we arrived to the terminal where I was dropped off with only my spanish as a weapon to get through, as most of italians do not speak english. And it was cool to know they can understand very well spanish, at least more than I can understand italian.